Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML
Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother, saying he was losing his mind at work and did not feel well. I went to pick him up. Turns out he decided to try weed for the first time at work and was high AF. Now I'm the little brother babysitting a 35 year-old man child. FML
Today, my 8 year-old sister tried vaping. My parents found out and planned on yelling at her, but nothing happened. She even got a reward for being curious. When I was 15 and got my first piercing (in the ear) I kinda got beat, and slept outside for the night. It makes me wonder what's going on sometimes… FML
Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Addddam 0
Grounded? **** that. Man up, tell your parents they're being unreasonable, and go do what you like.
coldplaylive2003 0
tell them it's their fault for not teaching you not to do drugs...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (151)
shock_bait 0
How did he even get into your house?
lizard2009 0
I feel your pain. When I was 12 my parents took turns beating because my 5 yr old brother fell and scraped his knee, and they said that I wasnt watching him. Where was I? At school. My mom was with him when it happened. But apprently it was all my fault. Once you can move out, you should. I got out when I was 15 and I am SO glad I did!
FerrariCake 2
You have some ****** up parents. Take out a small life insurance policy on each of them. At least then you can afford to extract your revenge any time you wish. Just plan carefully and you won't get caught. And you will restore balance to the universe.
doglover100 29
You have messed up parents who don't want to take responsibility.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Wait, your parents physically beat you because your brother fell down the stairs while you were at school? Please tell me that they're sitting in a prison cell.
dirtybird2212 0
#28 your a **** craving feminazi
FerrariCake 2
OP... what do you mean by "I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs"? I think we're supposed to assume you talk about the dangers of abusing drugs, but you didn't explicitly say that.
nigga_please123 0
atleast she wasnt on crack...hahaha that happend to me once...my dad didnt care...he said as long as my mom didnt find out he said that we dont have a problem
uberkrissy 0
If by stoned you mean by weed, weed isn't a drug. But since you really can't do anything in this situation, since parents are naturally evil, I'll say FYL. Even if it's fake.
blland 0
Yeah, weed isn't a drug! We totally agree. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_(drug) I don't know how many times you can find the word "drug" in that article (including the url)
PandaPandaPandaX 0
37 times exactly, including the URL.
aberfrog5 0
lol. sorry. but that's (almost) like saying advil or tylenol aren't drugs. haha. just because it's not as hard or addictive as some other drugs doesn't mean it's not one itself. :P
cefarix 5
YDI since you talk at schools about how to abuse drugs.
Paul21 0
ok argument to counter that? be racist is a crime,(like drugs) so you shouldnt be racist(or a druggy), cause crime(and drugs) are for african americans...
Molise 0
So you're old enough to be a volunteer speaker at high schools but you're still being grounded. I'm gonna guess you're probably 17-18. I agree with the above commenter when he/she said just don't be grounded. You're not seven years old.
glock17wielder 0
I would have typed out a long, sarcastic and biting response, but then I saw that you like Blink 182, and deleted said response out of sympathy.