Miscellaneous: Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came...

By catdog552 - 28/02/2013 11:02 - United States

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 891

You deserved it 2 588

Miscellaneous

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Mother of the year

Chainsaw massacre

By Anonymous - 09/01/2012 02:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 050

You deserved it 3 928

By slenderman908 - 10/12/2012 11:41 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 365

You deserved it 1 998

By mylovelifeisanepicfail - 12/03/2015 13:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I discovered that the man I have been talking to on a dating site is actually my ex-boyfriend. He created a fake profile and made me fall for someone that doesn't exist. We got on better anonymously than we ever did in 3 years together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 692

You deserved it 3 874

By Anonymous - 19/08/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, I came home from a long day at work, and heard voices coming from my living room. I thought my house was being robbed so I called 911. Turns out I left the T.V. on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 932

You deserved it 38 983

By Shrimpy - 16/03/2019 20:00

Today my girlfriend and her 3 friends walked in on me doing a solo performance on myself. They stood their quietly and videoed it unknown to me. And then afterwards laughed and made fun of how small I am. And to make it worse forwarded the video to everyone. Now everyone calls me shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 026

You deserved it 479

I've been… held up

By Anonymous - 01/08/2020 14:00

Today, I was finally able to see my gran for the first time since lockdown. She told me off for not visiting sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 122

By SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! - 01/02/2015 16:17 - United States - Gurnee

Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 236

You deserved it 4 245

By Anonymous - 11/01/2017 14:44

Today, I had to follow a diversion route home due to roadworks. It took me an hour longer than usual to get home. Too bad it turns out that the diversion was only for traffic, not people walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 757

You deserved it 6 254

By Christina - 05/12/2011 05:41 - Canada

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 739

You deserved it 49 684

By Anonymous - 27/06/2012 20:02 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 814

You deserved it 5 325

By Anonymous - 31/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 096

You deserved it 31 742

By Anonymous - 25/07/2017 00:30

Today, after 26 years of confusion with my parents pronouncing it different ways, and in my mom's case, multiple ways, having to clear up how it's spelled every time I meet someone, I asked my mom how to pronounce my name. She got mad and then pronounced it three different ways while explaining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 437

You deserved it 422

By secretdoll - 09/11/2010 07:51 - United States

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 545

You deserved it 3 968

By supersplatoon - 08/09/2015 23:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 974

You deserved it 2 676

Thanks, but…

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 00:01 - United States - Kula

Today, my grandmother helped out by cooking a dish for me. It was so sweet of her, until I ended up having diarrhoea because of it. Now I'm worried to breastfeed my newborn with her food in my system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 108

By wow - 09/08/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 562

You deserved it 3 169

By Emmz91 - 17/06/2019 23:03

Today, I tried keeping a surprise secret from my fiance. Turns out, under the influence of my sleeping tablets, which after I take them, I forget everything I've said, I spilled the beans. So much for the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 284

By arch maester shavayalsharashion - 26/07/2015 17:29 - United Kingdom - Surbiton

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced." and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 635

You deserved it 2 898

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 16:24 - United States

Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 851

You deserved it 7 431

By Anonymous - 18/02/2019 18:00

Today, I found myself crying my eyes out over my two favourite fictional characters' deaths. It happened over 6 years ago and has affected me more than real peoples' deaths. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 926

By Goatbeard - 15/02/2011 17:13 - United States

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 109

You deserved it 3 983

By Anonymous - 31/10/2015 05:10

Today, I finally got a promotion at work. Today I also found out that no matter how long I work, no matter how much effort and unpaid overtime I put in for 6 years, my coworkers will be convinced I only got promoted because I'm the CFO's son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 128

You deserved it 2 614

By Brook363 - 27/05/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 695

You deserved it 3 091

By Anonymous - 26/03/2015 13:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 348

You deserved it 3 622

By Anonymous - 06/05/2011 18:09 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 657

You deserved it 51 951

By j_babydoll6520 - 26/08/2011 11:09 - Australia

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 597

You deserved it 3 133

By AmberKCole - 08/07/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 528

You deserved it 100 371

By contracted - 22/08/2016 05:49 - United States - Concord

Today, I received a letter telling me I'm not qualified for a job I've been unofficially doing for the last three years. It's the fourth letter I've gotten since applying. I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have to train the new person who got the job instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 964

You deserved it 976

By Savy - 08/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I have a better relationship with the machinery I've given names to at work than my actual coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 987

You deserved it 845

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 469

You deserved it 64 215

Working conditions

By dripdripdrop - 26/01/2010 18:44 - United States

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside. Because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 235

You deserved it 2 153

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me and my boyfriend shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walks by and tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looks at my boyfriend and tells him he could do so much better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 357

You deserved it 6 573

By Pizzaguy - 02/08/2012 16:22 - United States - Dundee

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 120

You deserved it 1 757

You've got mail

By Silentshdw13 - 14/03/2016 23:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after moving back in with my parents, I found out they had held on to a chunk of mail still being sent during the time I had been changing my old address. Included was a summons to jury duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 770

You deserved it 1 411

By Mitch - 19/07/2012 17:36 - Puerto Rico - Bayamon

Today, while I was working my shift at the store, my girlfriend appeared and asked to talk to me. Once we were alone, she burst into tears and started sobbing. Turns out someone's dad died in her favorite TV show and she wanted some comfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 3 430

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 14:51 - Canada

Today, I hit a patch of black ice and totaled my car. The car is a month old. For the next 5 years I'll be paying for a car I can't drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 359

You deserved it 8 628

By Anonymous - 05/08/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 480

You deserved it 4 537

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 05:14 - United States - Asheboro

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 126

You deserved it 7 463

By anlhawks - 10/09/2010 04:02 - United States

Today, I bought my boyfriend two concert tickets (of our favorite band) for his birthday. I was expecting him to bring me since I gave them to him and I like the band too. He said, "Sweet, thanks, I'll call my friend now and see if he wants to go. Think you could give us a ride?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 971

You deserved it 5 996

By Anonymous - 06/03/2017 18:00

Today, my housemate blew chunks all over the freshly-painted walls in the bathroom. The paint was still wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 070

You deserved it 359

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Top comments

Sir_ND_Pity 35

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:50

Studying? Getting an education? Caring about grades? How dare you corrupt your sister like that!

HowieDoIt 21

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:46

Did you at least offer her pancakes? jerk.

lex1459 38

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:45

That really sucks :/ did your sister get in trouble at all?

Cian_1 28

Thursday 28 February 2013 18:46

I'm sorry, what? I usually ignore such comments, but with this, I literally have NO idea what you're even trying to say! Please, elaborate for me! :)

teddy4nyy 13

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:48

He asked if the sister got in trouble at all. What's there to not understand?

Cian_1 28

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:53

Oh, he edited his comment! Before it just said "fh". I look stupid now. :P

A7XCamaro 19

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:56

He's probably extremely wasted on various substances.

Demonfish 14

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Thursday 28 February 2013 19:04

Or just damn sneaky...

iOceanus 18

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Thursday 28 February 2013 20:04

10: They probably did that to get the first comment...

lex1459 38

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Thursday 28 February 2013 21:06

May I first clear up that I'm a girl, and second yeah I edited my comment, so no need to hate on the first reply! Sorry about that :/

bitch87 6

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Thursday 28 February 2013 21:38

Everyone makes honest mistakes :)

Tcaret300 12

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Thursday 28 February 2013 23:38

Why did the comment op get downed...?

HowieDoIt 21

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:46

Did you at least offer her pancakes? jerk.

lambda_fml 40

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Thursday 28 February 2013 20:17

She got those from the mother.

xmaximusx 12

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:48

Ridiculous Parenting

license2chill 5

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Friday 1 March 2013 6:15

we have only seen one side of this story, don't jump to conclusions yet. While I was in university studying engineering, since we were really busy, we just party extra hard when we had time, then went back to work hard next day. OP could be in similar case.

Sir_ND_Pity 35

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:50

Studying? Getting an education? Caring about grades? How dare you corrupt your sister like that!

Demonfish 14

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:50

Wait, there's something wrong with this picture, I can't quite put my finger on it...

mecreys 7

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:51

tell your mom she's the one supposed to be setting examples and that she's not doing such a hot job

vadaaa 11

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Friday 1 March 2013 1:31

Hell yeah stereotyping!

gc327072 30

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Friday 1 March 2013 1:34

But but… 44 is a woman… *head explodes*

lilhellian 26

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:52

Gosh you should have been doing this so you could have been a warning.. Jeez so inconsiderate..

boating_guy 33

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:54

yep, definitely only happens to us older siblings...

BinaryGuy 22

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Thursday 28 February 2013 18:55

You totally deserve it for not going out and getting drunk then coming home and throwing up on your Mom's bed instead. Would be a much better example!