Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Weddings, Awkward and Parents: Bad guest - FML

Bad guest

By Unknown - 23/12/2014 18:25 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 672

You deserved it 3 034

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Same thing different taste

By Googlebug - 01/11/2010 10:15 - United States

Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 189

You deserved it 2 538

Nice to see you

By JeezyCherieze - 11/04/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was, and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 423

You deserved it 4 059

Meddling

By sotter42 - 20/07/2020 17:01

Today, my father-in-law decided he was going to just completely take over our engagement party, so now my fiancé just wants to go to Reno and get married there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 150

By Anonymous - 06/09/2014 22:19 - United States - Cottonwood

Today, my boyfriend canceled his plans to attend my father's wake, not even 10 minutes after he found out there won't be any alcohol on offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 991

You deserved it 4 128

Dodgy dad

By Anonymous - 23/02/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, nobody wanted to come to my graduation after finding out that my father was coming too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 889

You deserved it 462

By derranged - 22/04/2009 18:24 - China

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 215

You deserved it 73 445

Crafty

By Anonymous - 07/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 499

You deserved it 3 204

By Sam - 20/06/2010 13:18 - France

Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like 'Father's drunken, piss on a plant in the kitchen during breakfast, order you to scrub in between his toes with your toothbrush Day.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 036

You deserved it 3 750

Free speech

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 10:00

Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 121

Great speech, thanks!

By Anonymous - 09/08/2020 02:02

Today, my biologist father had a slide show and speech prepared for my wedding. It started with, “40 years ago, there was a tree here”. I thought this would relate to me or the wedding at some point. 45 minutes later, I had to admit that it didn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 737

You deserved it 146

Next

Top comments

DrMario_ 16

Wednesday 24 December 2014 0:10

Is your father a dog? O.o

dman1997 5

Wednesday 24 December 2014 0:12

He certainly knows how to make an entrance... And exit.

Comments

kirbs19 37

Wednesday 24 December 2014 6:31

At least it wasn't your wedding! Right?

karma_kicks_back 16

Wednesday 24 December 2014 6:53

At least he left????

Gityerchicken 12

Wednesday 24 December 2014 7:27

Did he bring a nice gift?

vikky538 28

Wednesday 24 December 2014 14:15

I see a wedding "smasher" in your dad...

lollypop624 11

Wednesday 24 December 2014 21:05

R u complaining bout him leaving?

MrRen 11

Thursday 25 December 2014 7:12

That poor tree.

SMMEric 9

Thursday 25 December 2014 17:21

LMAO

SkunkPoker 8

Thursday 25 December 2014 21:13

More like piss on a tree and leaf.

HighasaCloud 46

Sunday 4 January 2015 20:02

If he is capable of acting like that, shouldn't he have done other things in the past that would have really made it clear to you that you shouldn't invite him to a wedding?

fantasyworld 37

Monday 16 March 2015 2:38

Now you know not to invite him anywhere.

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Awkward Cars Family Relatable Kids Babysitter Money Thief Health Depression Mental health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Vacation Annoying Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 110

Today, I learned that my husband “accidentally” let the dog out and allowed her to be eaten by an alligator because I got a male coworker, who is also a good friend of mine, a birthday present. We had an argument about our friendship, which apparently bothers him. I’d had that dog since I was a junior in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 108

The Top

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 30 763

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 829

You deserved it 13 105

Today, we had to evaluate each other in class. Apparently I'm a quarrelsome, uncommitted, commanding bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 525

You deserved it 35 375

Today, I found out why I've had cockroaches in my bathroom - my landlord didn't bother to finish the wall behind my bathroom sink. There are literally holes that go straight from my bathroom to the garage downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 122

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 058

You deserved it 3 224

Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 121