Intimacy: Bad ********

Bad ********

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 660

You deserved it 55 810

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 115

Fireball

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 22:00

Today, I went into work to finish one last task, but decided to also have a fire in the pit. I grabbed the wrong can of fuel and ended up taking a fireball to the face, singed the hair on my head, arms, and I have to shave my beard off… Well, what’s left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 986

By Smokey9 - 25/07/2011 15:12 - United States

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 608

You deserved it 62 541

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 283

You deserved it 59 640

It's lit

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 00:01

Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 19:58 - United States - Everett

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 229

You deserved it 8 727

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 603

You deserved it 15 126

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 850

You deserved it 8 408

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 187

You deserved it 12 657

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 27 489

razi1 20

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

The things we do in our boredom

enddmd 27

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

Boredom combined with anything never ends well.

Comments

iateapenguin 27

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:16

This definitely needs a follow-up!

ThomasBombadil 31

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:19

Great, now there will be a sticker of a guy blow drying his nether regions with a red circle and a line through it on all future blow dryers.

junkman6 22

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:23

Only if he sues the company. Sadly he probably could sue, win, and become rich.

MattBenid_fml 12

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:21

This is how new style born ;) Soon it will be fashion

JonDG 12

Monday 14 April 2014 8:40

if you are going to attempt at speaking english at least speak it correctly?

sunnyray812 42

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:30

What kind of hairstyle were you planning on doing with your pubes? O.o

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:44

I could see him pulling off a handlebar moustache.

blake1015 24

Wednesday 26 March 2014 2:34

Perhaps a Fu Manchu?

TheCrispyCat 20

Wednesday 26 March 2014 3:29

If a girl would do this damn that would be sexy.

classiceagle63 16

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:30

Well that must have been a hairy situation.

dmbfan31 7

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:44

I'll bet that made a pleasant smell. :p

Next2No1 6

Wednesday 26 March 2014 1:01

Should be interesting explaining how you found out the hair dryer doesn't work anymore

Shadowbay 18

Wednesday 26 March 2014 1:03

Did you turn the heat on high? Something like that you use the lower setting ;) haha

liuliuliu 10

Wednesday 26 March 2014 1:04

A fashion aspect

Mauskau 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 1:15

When I was three I set my house on fire with a faulty hair dryer. Be glad you only burned yourself for being an idiot.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 960

You deserved it 931

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 318

The Top

Today, I thought it would be funny to take an airhorn to a golf course and blow it while people were teeing off. It was very funny, until I blew the horn during some guy's backswing and his ball was shanked in my direction and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 6 025

Today, my boyfriend and I found out that we were cheating on each other with the same person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 3 360

Today, my husband said sex is too weird because I'm pregnant with our first baby. He gets very grumpy without sex. I'm very horny with hormones. Only 6 more months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 213

Today, I was in the bathroom at work. The lock on the stall door broke, and I couldn't open it. I was all alone and I started having a mini panic attack. After several minutes of frantically trying to fix the lock and hyperventilating, I realized I could just crawl under the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 962

You deserved it 8 877

Today, I found my diamond earring, which had gone missing. The vet had to surgically remove it from my dog. Despite having made the voyage through the dog's digestive tract, the earring is more expensive than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 667

You deserved it 1 916

Today, I went to the Chick-fil-A drive through. Instead of asking me my name for my order, I was greeted by my name. I asked how he knew it, and he responded by saying he makes it a point to remember all the great customers' names. He added that I come there all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 960