Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tiptoed out of the room did I realize that my phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old twin brothers yet again. I began to get desperate when they took my phone and would start crying every time I tried to take it back. My mother found me thirty minutes later, huddled in a corner, crying. I'm 27 years-old. FML
Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML
Today, I woke up unusually early for an appointment and got ready real quick. Only after passing the front door did I realize I had forgotten my sleeping baby inside. FML
Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had left the house without her cell phone. I called her phone to let her know she forgot it. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
I fear the day I become a dad. I'll probably end up insane.
onigiriqueen 0
Maybe... try using the phone on vibrate? I almost never have mine on ring because ringers annoy the **** out of me... I wish they annoyed more people.
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Comments (42)
bollywood_rocks 0
Um,29(fretforyerlatte),why get the cat then? See maybe I'm biased but dogs are more sensitive to the needs of their humans. Cats are like divas: they don't care and they'll do what they want! *waits for cat lovers to pelt her*
no_damn_luck 0
Yeah, and what? Did the kid wake up or something? How is this an FML?
Truan_fml 0
what kind of kid has that metabolism? I suspect foul play dealing with caffene YDI
rakhil11 7
roflmfao @ all cat stuff and i couldn't agree more 31
wowfmlxten 0
lmfao #7 ur hilarious
sb_rph 0
this is exactly why i ALWAYS have my blackberry on vibrate and where it on my one of those holders that clips on my pants...god knows where you will be, at work, the movies, a funeral, a wedding, BABYSITTING in your case, etc when suddenly your phone starts blaring with a ringtone like mine "WELCOME TO THE NEW DARK AGES!!!!" (bad religion haha) so i just stick to vibrate :-P
lovely997 0
and what was funny about this
tomberryboy 0
So the baby awoke again I agree babysitting suck ass
uniongirl02 0
This is an FML, why?
needsagf14 12
2 hours? Here's what you do- punish her if she isn't asleep by 9!