Sounds like a pretty normal marriage.

I am so very sorry. Well, you have your answer. See if he will go to counseling together. If no one has cheated you guy's CAN find each other again. Remember " Be his girlfriend '. Remember when you guy's were dating and no matter how tired you were you'd run home and shower and put make up and fix your hair. Let the kid's stay with your mom or a friend. when he gets home and it's only you two answer the door in his coat or suit jacket ONLY. No undies. make his favorite food and as you walk into the kitchen drop the coat and finish naked. I know everyone has hang ups but I bet he has told you b4 he loves your body. Remember to "BE HIS GF". If you think nope I won't do that. I am too tired. well, think of all the time you will have alone once the divorce goes thru and he has someone being his GF. YOU CAN DO THIS.

Sometimes my wife has a tendency in an argument to raise the stakes saying things like OP apparently said. That’s a very bad way to argue or disagree. It’s dangerous because it raises the possibility that your partner will decide to take you up on your threat… I understand that usually when people do this what they really want is reassurance, but it’s a dangerous way to get it. It’s sort of like saying I feel ugly when you want to be told you are attractive. Most of the time it may work, but sometimes you partner or friend may agree with you… Learn to fight and argue “fair” instead of always raising the temper of the moment with a threat you don’t actually want to follow through on… The past few years have been awful with pandemic, polarizing political arguments, economic worries, and sometimes too much togetherness. Be aware that we’re all going through this and many of us are a bit on edge. Seek to lower the heat in a disagreement instead of needlessly raising it.