Awks

By John doe - 11/04/2010 11:54 - United States

Spicy
Today, I woke up next to a woman nearly twice my age. I don't know how to tell her it was drunken sex and not the beginning of a relationship. But I have to come up with something soon as I work with her Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 484
You deserved it 44 158

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Top comments

hahaha old lady ftw!

Actually, I wouldn't worry too much about it. As Saturday Night Live memorably put it in their sketch, "Cougar Den", "I'll pay you, and this won't get messy." I'm not exactly how to put this respectfully, but anyone who is twice your age — and I'm assuming you're at least 16 — probably does not want a boyfriend half her age. She may want another shag or three, but she'd probably be more embarrassed by a public liasion than you. Really.

Comments

YDI. Don't drink. Idiot.

just do her again and get off as fast as you can

fuh fuh fuh failure.

fuh fuh fuh fucker

Agree with #1. You obviously can't handle drinking. Also, great job assuming she wants a relationship with you. She'll probably wake up wondering how to get away from the pimply-faced little slacker without ending up with a harrassment suit.

this sounds fake it sounds like hedley's "don't talk to strangers" song and music video.

This happened to me once, except that when we woke up she said to me, "can you drive me home before my boyfriend drops off my kids?" so it was more of a win.

fuh fuh fuh faggit

#1: Agreed. If you can't drink responsibly, you shouldn't drink at all. Unfortunately, people who are irresponsible with their drinking don't just cause themselves problems - they often hurt and/or harm others, too. I should know. I'm a non-drinker, but drunk drivers left me disabled.

tri tri tri tribal fuh fuh fuh failure.

fuh fuh fuh failure fuh fuh fuh failure fuh fuh fuh failure C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

ahhaahha that might have made my day! :)

Can't to hear how they handle it in "Soviet Russia".

hehe lol let me try;) in soveit Russia women wakes up to you or in so soveit Monday works you

wait till after the recession is over to dump her

In Soviet Russia, Uranium enriches you!

Zom Zom Zom Zombie thinks tattoo boy should change a pic... an OP, your a tool dude... she will not want a "relationship". and what are you doing? lying next to her posting on FML? ... Dumbass

24 Imaginaryfoe, I truely love love love all of your comments you post. You always seem to think outside of the box.

theswag, I love the pic.

Words of advice: Don't get drunk

littlered, I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but is your blog for real? You sound like a stalker...

age does not matter if shes naturally good looking without any surgery like demi moore.

Sourgirl, I blushed.  Thank you.

you should say it was the V8 you had

#15 sexy as FUCK!!!

that was my first thought .

hey at least you got laid

hahah. I agree (;

68- obviously you aren't aware of the google trend tosh.0 started last year. If you google 'demi Moore bush' you won't think of her that way again

Yeah. when I HAVE to, I just pretend drunk and act funny until things settle down a bit with everyone drunk. Drinking till your drunk is never a good idea. It does help you forget things but you know that's just running away..... Beer pong FTW!!

omg 6666 ydi's!

would u suck my dick? I think you're hot !!!

Like you had the power there... cougars are called cougars because they're predators

how about " i was drunk, im not into wrinkles?"

first first first

fail fail fail

Ooh! I want to play! Orgasmic butt-monkey! Orgasmic butt-monkey! Orgasmic butt-monkey! Did I win?

second second second

Zombie Zombie Zombie

Shutup! Shutup! Shutup! (I have voices in my head...)

It's à little late but, oink oink oink.

badger badger badger

crayons crayons crayons

vagina vagina vagina

chococucumbermelonmustardbread chococucumbermelonmustardbread chococucumbermelonmustardbread(it's my favorite to make!)

Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! OH YEEEEEEEEA!

Not not not!!! Sad sad sad

hahaha old lady ftw!

Andrea, was that with you?

I hope she was married. They're the best:)

go shoot up some herion queer its all about maryjane

Actually, I wouldn't worry too much about it. As Saturday Night Live memorably put it in their sketch, "Cougar Den", "I'll pay you, and this won't get messy." I'm not exactly how to put this respectfully, but anyone who is twice your age — and I'm assuming you're at least 16 — probably does not want a boyfriend half her age. She may want another shag or three, but she'd probably be more embarrassed by a public liasion than you. Really.

Congrats you're a boy toy!!! If she's twice you're age, she is NOT thinking of it as a relationship. She's not interested in you for the long haul. Get over yourself.

YDI for posting a stupid FML. Pretty sure any straight male 30 and younger wouldn't mind being cougar prey, especially the no strings flings kind.

stop being such a baby and tell her the truth.

Quit you're job. She'll get the point.