Awks

By John doe - 11/04/2010 11:54 - United States

Spicy
Today, I woke up next to a woman nearly twice my age. I don't know how to tell her it was drunken sex and not the beginning of a relationship. But I have to come up with something soon as I work with her Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 519
You deserved it 44 364
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

jpallan 3

Actually, I wouldn't worry too much about it. As Saturday Night Live memorably put it in their sketch, "Cougar Den", "I'll pay you, and this won't get messy." I'm not exactly how to put this respectfully, but anyone who is twice your age — and I'm assuming you're at least 16 — probably does not want a boyfriend half her age. She may want another shag or three, but she'd probably be more embarrassed by a public liasion than you. Really.

17 1

Comments

ryan_mcgrath1 0

just do her again and get off as fast as you can

4 4
KoochieCrusader 0

fuh fuh fuh failure.

1 3
ImaginaryFoe 0

Agree with #1. You obviously can't handle drinking. Also, great job assuming she wants a relationship with you. She'll probably wake up wondering how to get away from the pimply-faced little slacker without ending up with a harrassment suit.

15 2
iAmPaul 49

this sounds fake it sounds like hedley's "don't talk to strangers" song and music video.

2 1
spaghetti542 0

This happened to me once, except that when we woke up she said to me, "can you drive me home before my boyfriend drops off my kids?" so it was more of a win.

5 1
AziraLevana 2

#1: Agreed. If you can't drink responsibly, you shouldn't drink at all. Unfortunately, people who are irresponsible with their drinking don't just cause themselves problems - they often hurt and/or harm others, too. I should know. I'm a non-drinker, but drunk drivers left me disabled.

11 3
theswag 0

tri tri tri tribal fuh fuh fuh failure.

0 2
AznWaffle8 0

fuh fuh fuh failure fuh fuh fuh failure fuh fuh fuh failure C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

4 1
clanceyrocks11 0

ahhaahha that might have made my day! :)

0 1
Alina_86 0

Can't to hear how they handle it in "Soviet Russia".

2 2
bhangu023 0

hehe lol let me try;) in soveit Russia women wakes up to you or in so soveit Monday works you

0 6
iSitt 0

wait till after the recession is over to dump her

0 1
ReyEr9412 0

In Soviet Russia, Uranium enriches you!

0 1
supraman_fml 0

Zom Zom Zom Zombie thinks tattoo boy should change a pic... an OP, your a tool dude... she will not want a "relationship". and what are you doing? lying next to her posting on FML? ... Dumbass

0 1
sourgirl101 28

24 Imaginaryfoe, I truely love love love all of your comments you post. You always seem to think outside of the box.

0 2
luckygirl9479 0

theswag, I love the pic.

0 1
ScaryyMary 14

littlered, I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but is your blog for real? You sound like a stalker...

0 1
massagenist 0

age does not matter if shes naturally good looking without any surgery like demi moore.

0 0
u_killed_kenny_ 0

you should say it was the V8 you had

0 1
Fodace 4

#15 sexy as ****!!!

0 1
killerviral 0

hey at least you got laid

1 1
WardFML 0

68- obviously you aren't aware of the google trend tosh.0 started last year. If you google 'demi Moore bush' you won't think of her that way again

0 1
sharpl916 0

Yeah. when I HAVE to, I just pretend drunk and act funny until things settle down a bit with everyone drunk. Drinking till your drunk is never a good idea. It does help you forget things but you know that's just running away..... Beer pong FTW!!

0 0
pokerface5 0

would u suck my dick? I think you're hot !!!

0 0
Ghostalker 0

Like you had the power there... cougars are called cougars because they're predators

0 0
BeachPanda 0

how about " i was drunk, im not into wrinkles?"

0 1
druggielove 0

first first first

2 26
afatmonkey 0

Ooh! I want to play! Orgasmic butt-monkey! Orgasmic butt-monkey! Orgasmic butt-monkey! Did I win?

2 8
druggielove 0

second second second

2 4
cookie_monster2 0

moo moo moo

0 0
slipknot262318 0

Shutup! Shutup! Shutup! (I have voices in my head...)

1 3
rawrtastyc 0

It's à little late but, oink oink oink.

2 3
knibbsy 4

badger badger badger

5 1
Fodace 4

crayons crayons crayons

1 2
sharpl916 0

chococucumbermelonmustardbread chococucumbermelonmustardbread chococucumbermelonmustardbread(it's my favorite to make!)

1 2
JoeMamas 0

I hope she was married. They're the best:)

2 10
maryjaneslover7 0

go shoot up some herion queer its all about maryjane

0 3
jpallan 3

Actually, I wouldn't worry too much about it. As Saturday Night Live memorably put it in their sketch, "Cougar Den", "I'll pay you, and this won't get messy." I'm not exactly how to put this respectfully, but anyone who is twice your age — and I'm assuming you're at least 16 — probably does not want a boyfriend half her age. She may want another shag or three, but she'd probably be more embarrassed by a public liasion than you. Really.

17 1
time4coffee 3

Congrats you're a boy toy!!! If she's twice you're age, she is NOT thinking of it as a relationship. She's not interested in you for the long haul. Get over yourself.

7 1
1LL337 0

YDI for posting a stupid FML. Pretty sure any straight male 30 and younger wouldn't mind being cougar prey, especially the no strings flings kind.

7 1
Katee0_o 6

stop being such a baby and tell her the truth.

0 1