Awkward and Intimacy: Awks

Awks

By John doe - 11/04/2010 11:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a woman nearly twice my age. I don't know how to tell her it was drunken sex and not the beginning of a relationship. But I have to come up with something soon as I work with her Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 514

You deserved it 44 331

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 556

You deserved it 69 033

By scatter00x - 08/02/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 086

You deserved it 7 089

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 094

You deserved it 44 810

All in the family

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 04:00 - Canada - Moose Factory

Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 174

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 816

You deserved it 26 454

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 992

You deserved it 108 901

Mixing it up

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:20 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 834

You deserved it 48 854

Don't drink and letch

By GonnaGetFired - 31/03/2010 00:11 - United States

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 636

You deserved it 40 342

Rookie mistake

By Anonymous - 29/01/2021 05:01

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend. Two weeks before Valentine's day. She expects me to buy her a present because we've known each other for a while, and apparently thinks it's more than a drunk hookup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 1 801

By holycommander - 26/03/2013 20:20 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 615

You deserved it 5 137

Metzler31 17

Sunday 11 April 2010 20:06

hahaha old lady ftw!

jpallan 3

Sunday 11 April 2010 20:10

Actually, I wouldn't worry too much about it. As Saturday Night Live memorably put it in their sketch, "Cougar Den", "I'll pay you, and this won't get messy." I'm not exactly how to put this respectfully, but anyone who is twice your age — and I'm assuming you're at least 16 — probably does not want a boyfriend half her age. She may want another shag or three, but she'd probably be more embarrassed by a public liasion than you. Really.

Comments

Alitsia88 4

Tuesday 20 April 2010 18:29

109 - win! so what i was thinking, lol!!!

FMyJunk 0

Tuesday 27 April 2010 23:54

Yeah, there's no need for this conversation. She doesn't want you to be her boyfriend, trust me.

Skimbap 0

Monday 24 May 2010 0:42

One simple solution: Car bombs!

iDemonChild 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 0:52

Damnit you should of listened to Hedley's "Don't talk to strangers song" :/ I suppose it is known to you as "Don't **** your colleagues"

Mirm83 0

Monday 16 August 2010 23:01

I agree. You're probably only assuming that she wants a relationship with you. There are many girls who are perfectly capable of having a one-night stand, with no attachments. Some, like me, prefer them. The most disappointing thing about most guys I've hooked up with, is that they don't get it, and go out of their way to be jerks because they are afraid I love them, or something. The ones that didn't do that got breakfast, a good friend, and laid again sometime in the future.

ChiefLancaster 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 10:43

FAP FAP FAP,, did it sound like that the first night??? LOL,, just go into work ad ignore her,, she may have been drunk too and doesn't want to be mixed up with a child that can not handle an older woman,, send me her number, Ill hook her up..

superguppy19 3

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:17

could have been worse she could be your boss

sammyjo06 14

Monday 24 February 2014 5:05

If she's twice your age, I think she knows what that was lol...Assuming she's 50+, she's been around twice as long as you have; she knows what drunken sex is. Don't flatter yourself that she'll want a relationship out of it.