Sex, Romantic and Intimacy: And if a double-decker bus…

And if a double-decker bus…

By legwarmer - 31/12/2010 19:21 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my fiancé, we were talking about how we'd rather die, if given a choice. I said, "I want to die in my sleep next to you." His response? "It'd be sexier if you were on top of me with your face between my legs." Cute, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 6 574

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/12/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 336

You deserved it 19 977

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 617

You deserved it 8 230

Love is…

By Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 313

You deserved it 3 886

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 743

You deserved it 5 875

By fml - 12/08/2011 06:14 - Canada

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 854

You deserved it 30 574

By fmmmmlll - 12/06/2012 05:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 205

You deserved it 2 450

Dirty talk

By CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 237

You deserved it 2 209

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 359

Don't you want me baby?

By Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 83

By bruised - 11/04/2016 07:26 - United States - Novi

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 803

You deserved it 3 050

rasta_pasta 4

Saturday 1 January 2011 1:23

You're both creepy and weird, deal with it.

guppy40000 0

Friday 31 December 2010 23:28

it wouldnt be so cute when your jaw closed and locked. chomp chomp chomp

Comments

Celesta 11

Friday 31 December 2010 22:59

At least he was honest :)

iSitt 0

Friday 31 December 2010 23:08

what if she bites down by reflex?

randiZ25 0

Friday 31 December 2010 23:29

he was honest, and it had something to do with op.. don't see the fml here..?

Ouchy265 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 13:43

Then he's f*cked xD

noto_fml 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 16:38

agreed I just ain't seeing the FML

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 1 January 2011 22:50

What if she bites down and rigor mortis sets in?

kittykat52810 0

Monday 3 January 2011 10:25

well I guess that is how he dies =D

Mirorbo 26

Friday 31 December 2010 23:01

Somehow, I don't remember men always being perverted pricks like this. I'm sorry the mood was ruined for you, darling.

mzshorty 0

Friday 31 December 2010 23:51

I agree

Lucidium 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 0:17

Why do you say darling so much, it's weird.

J0gby 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 1:07

i know right? even the younger ones are starting to act this way.

Alleged_Cranium 7

Saturday 1 January 2011 1:10

'cause women be crazy bitches.

Zya_fml 8

Saturday 1 January 2011 10:00

Well, his picture and name is a character from Pokemon. That character tends to say darling a lot too. So, he's probably imitating or he has a similar personality to Miror B.

Ashley121645 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 10:36

im sick of men growing up and being douchebags that say **** in every sentence. what happened to manners in front of a lady and clean mouths seriouly it sucks lol.

Alleged_Cranium 7

Saturday 1 January 2011 14:22

Ashley, Don't place all the blame on men. There are a whole lot of women that aren't ladies. These 'girls' go around cussing all the time to show that they are empowered.