Today, my son joined the ranks of an organisation filled with nothing but scum, villains, thieves, and highwaymen. He's now a tax inspector. FML
Today, after eating out, my mother asked me to figure out 20 percent of the bill whilst staring daggers at me. I have never been good at math under pressure and especially not percentages, so I told her as such. She called me a complete idiot, to which my father simply said, “I agree.” FML
Today, I had a procedure that should have been covered by my health insurance, but while I was there, I asked the doc to sign a prescription for an unrelated thing. This apparently turned the insured procedure into a consultation, so they charged me full price for the procedure, over $15,000. FML
Today, my mental state went down another 2 levels when after 2 years of unemployment, I finally got offered a great job abroad. However, I probably won't even be able to go because I've reached the point where I'm too broke to even apply to get my passport made. FML
Today, I went to go cash a check that I'd been holding onto, so that I wouldn't spend the money until we really need it. When I was at the check stand, the man asked why I held onto the check for so long. I told him why. He went on to explain that the check had now expired, and I could no longer cash it. FML
Today, my dad snooped at my payslip and now he keeps calling me a tight cunt who should contribute more. This from the man who smokes 50 a day but hasn’t had full-time employment since 2009. Plus I pay rent, and the gas and electric when he can’t afford to, which is every month. FML
Today, my son is failing his college classes because he thinks he’s going to inherit the family business. It's a garden centre owned by my older sister; I'm just an employee, it will be inherited by my niece. My son actually thought only eldest sons inherited family property. God I raised an idiot. FML
Today, it's the third time my ex has been granted a reduction in his child support payments coinciding with his gold digger getting an expensive gift. The first time it was her 4-carat engagement ring, then it was her breast and butt surgeries, and now a 3-week trip to Hawaii. I can barely afford food for our kids. FML
Today, my boss finally worked out that by not giving the lads a pay rise to £18 an hour, instead just offering them overtime when necessary, it actually cost the equivalent of raising each employees salary to £26 an hour, for a whole year. He’s is blaming me because I issue the pay checks. FML
Today, my manager did that thing where he gave me a performance-based bonus last month, but deducted the bonus from this months pay. He didn’t even try to hide it, it said in plain English "Amount deducted for previous performance bonus." FML
Today, I learned that my friend really can't be trusted to set up a party by herself. The only food she provided was tap water, a single sleeve of saltines, and Kraft singles. The only entertainment was Checkers and the first season of Frasier on DVD. We all pooled $250 for her to do this! What the hell happened!? FML
Today, a guy invited me to a first date at a new restaurant. I was going to pay my way, but when he saw how steep the bill was, he insisted that I pay for his meal too, to prove I'm a "real feminist". FML
Today, it was my first day as a server at Olive Garden and a customer walked out without paying. It was the new manager's first day too, and he decided to write me up. FML
Today, my fiancé told me to quit my bitching and to just order a wedding dress off Wish. I'm willing to get an inexpensive dress and in fact I hate designer labels altogether. However, I draw the line at the cheap, poorly made crap from that site. FML
Today, I work in healthcare databases, mostly child abuse, so I'd been looking forward to a weekend obstacle course, organized by a friend of a friend. After getting the details, I realized the event will raise funds for pro-life and LGBT conversion therapy. My new plans involve drinking and moving out of state. FML
Today, after my aunt died and left me everything, I found my heroin addict brother searching my house, demanding his share of the money. He thought I had it in cash, so I called the cops. Now our mom is mad at me because a good brother would have given him something. FML
Today, my credit card information was stolen and the account locked. I'll get a new card in 10-14 days, after a planned medical trip for an increase in seizures. Without a credit card, I can no longer check into the hotel, nor access cash before my flight. The next opening is in 3 months. If I die I'm haunting you. FML
Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML
Today, I found out that my brother has been stealing money from me for the past five months. FML
Today, after all the effort to book a weekend away to a wine farm, the airline has been grounded, and the accommodation refuses to give us a refund. Also, the other airlines have tripled their prices, so it is not feasible for us. So now we have to consider doing a 17-hour drive each way for a two night stay. FML
Today, my boss, a treacherous weasel, threw me under the bus for a £300 mistake I made on my first day a year ago as an intern, trying to distract from his £12,000 fuck up from today. He got suspended, but my wages are temporarily reduced until the money from my mistake is paid back, all £300 of it. FML
Today, I was delivering pizzas and hit up a dude’s house who ordered two boxes of extra large. He gave me the exact change. I asked him, “What about the tip?” He paused for a minute, let out this loud rancid fart and said, “There’s your tip bub, now piss off!” and shut the door in my face. FML
Today, I asked my mom if I could borrow $20 since I don’t get paid until Friday. She responded with, “Why don’t you return those packages that arrived this week from your online shopping sprees?” FML
Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML
Today, I reunited with my mother and my sisters after a long time. I actually walked out of the reunion, too, after I drove 800 km away, only to find out that they're fighting over my late father's inheritance. I had vanished from my family because they were always possessive and crawling up my ass every time. FML
Today, my Food Stamp application was denied because my income is apparently “too high”. I pay $1800 in rent and water, $130 for the phone and internet bill, $400 on credit cards, $150 for electricity, and $120 on car insurance. Nice to know they expect me to eat with $50/month. FML
Today, my parents decided that because my sister never cleans the bathroom, every time she doesn’t, she and I BOTH have to pay $100 a week for a maid. I can’t afford to move out, and with this, I never will. FML
Today, my older sister dragged us to a restaurant that charged us $80 a piece for 8 mouthfuls of food. She does this all the time. When our youngest sister defended her, it removed all doubt that our parents still pay her bills. FML
Today, my roommate expected me to help them buy them car, or loan them some money. FML
Today, a girl I like asked me to a concert, saying she had an extra ticket. I ended up being the third wheel with her and her boyfriend. I had to pay $60 for the ticket too. FML
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