Language

What word was it?

By BigBall - 09/09/2023 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 725

No comprendo

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 1 012

Anerrhíphthō kýbos

By AllGreekToMe - 02/02/2022 14:01 - United States - Bloomington

Today, when I selected my classes last semester, I could have taken my required-to-graduate foreign language classes on something doable like Spanish. Instead, not knowing what I was getting into, I selected Classical Greek. It's too late to change my language and my uninformed choice is going to cost me my degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 1 394

Does it though? Does it really?

By me. - 16/04/2022 16:01 - United States - Denver

Today, my mom asked me to bring the groceries in. In doing so, I brought in a bag full of toilet paper. She saw me and said, “Um, hello? I only said bring the GROCERIES in.” I was thus today years-old when I learned that ‘groceries’ only means food items, not just things you get from a grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 144

So exotic

By Anonymous - 13/02/2022 11:59 - United States - Marquette

Today, my mother met a new member of my band. He's a piano player from Mexico City. She introduced herself as my mother, then asked him if he spoke Spanish or Mexican. This lead to a long talk about how they speak Spanish in Mexico too. She didn’t believe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 117

Bruvophobia

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 22:35 - United States - Cypress

Today, my mom mentioned how she loves a certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 643

You deserved it 20 487

Kwinoah?

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 02:30 - United States

Today, I found out that I've been pronouncing "quinoa" wrong for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 271

Where did you learn that one?

By Kilamo - 19/06/2025 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, I tried to impress a French student by saying “Bonjour!” but instead said “Bordel!” which means “Brothel.” She laughed, and so did every one of the french students around us. My cultural street cred is officially dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 485

Legend says she's still riding around

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 05:05 - Thailand

Today, I was trying to get to my boyfriend via public transport in Thailand. He was giving the driver instructions through my phone when my phone went flat. I am now alone in the passenger seat of a car, next to a creepy old driver, no idea where he is taking me, and I don't speak a word of Thai. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 643

You deserved it 5 542

By Anonymous - 12/06/2016 12:37 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 634

You deserved it 2 194

To top it off…

By leo - 22/01/2023 12:30

Today, my alarm turned itself off, leading to me sleeping in and showing up to work two hours late. Throughout the day, I kept on fumbling my words because my job requires me to speak mostly in my second language rather than my first, and I'm not great at it. On my way home from work, I backed into a pole with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 219

What was your endgame?

By Travis32 - 11/06/2022 12:00

Today, I’ve been faking an Italian accent and said my name was Alessandro to impress a girl I was seeing. My plan was going well, until on a date at the mall, I heard, “Travis, what are you doing? Why are you talking like that?” It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 2 198

How's about you go **** yourself, knobhead?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I have a potty mouth and that I should clean it with Harpic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 328

Vamos arriba!

By rog3rli - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized that even though I've taken three years of Spanish, the only words and phrases I can remember are from Dora the Explorer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 425

You deserved it 12 965

Charming

By lordoftheweird - 31/05/2022 05:00 - Canada - Ladysmith

Today, I realized my coworker can't comprehend English, or any other language. When I mentioned this to a coworker, they accused me of being an ableist. This is the same person who insults him to his face, knowing he can't understand her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 108

Deer in headlights

By Hujunnn0 - 30/07/2022 15:00

Today, at a Starbucks in China, when it was my turn to order, the handsome cashier locked eyes with me and asked me in perfect English what I wanted. All words in all languages that I can speak, including how to speak English, my mother tongue, left my brain as I stared into his beautiful eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 462

J'ai rien compris

By Anonymous - 21/02/2022 00:01

Today, my date dumped me after he took me to see a French language film and I was completely unable to follow the plot, or discuss the underlying philosophical and sociological themes and nuances afterwards. Apparently I’m not smart enough for him, which is just insulting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 241

Lost in translation

By Ariane - 03/12/2022 00:00

Today, I work as an executive assistant. My French boss wanted to do business with a big American customer, so he sent her an email suggesting a meeting. He copied me so that I could arrange said meeting. He had written, "Have your ass talk to my ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 121

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend got a sexy new tattoo as a surprise for me. It’s on her boob in Japanese, next to a pair of sexy lips, and she claims it says "Oral Queen." I'm fluent in Japanese so I wish she'd asked for my help first, because it actually translates to "Mouth Ruler" which is not sexy at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 247

What did I do?

By Gringo - 29/03/2022 22:00

Today, a gorgeous woman on a train told her friend she thought I was hot in Spanish, assuming I was a dumb gringo tourist. In fact, I speak Spanish fluently, my wife is Colombian, and she was standing right next to me. My wife can’t rationalize my street value, and made me sleep on the fold out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 258

Kinda rude

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 20:38 - United States

Today, I work as a cashier, and as always, I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I received a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 670

You deserved it 2 836

What?

By IHaveThePower - 17/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, like every day since birth, I have a sensory processing disorder that stops me hearing things properly. It's worse with accents. I live in the Southwest and I can't understand anyone's spanish accent. I'm not racist, I swear; I'm just disabled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 114

Quel abruti

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 06:00

Today, I was on a date in a fancy restaurant. I tried to show off my skills by ordering our meal in French, since some of the dishes had french-sounding names. The waiter replied in fluent French and I have no idea what he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 1 249

You what?

By Sally - 26/01/2009 00:06

Today, I'm studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 403

You deserved it 5 422

Badmouth Strikes Again

By Melissa - 08/03/2020 14:00

Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 169

Decoding

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I figured out my girlfriend's mother has various nicknames for me. My girlfriend and her family are from Poland and speak on the phone in their native tongue, but they don’t know I’ve been learning the language either. I heard her call me “idiot”, “loser”, “moron” and various other “nicknames” multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 125

Filtered

By Anonymous - 09/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Monterey

Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 87

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 24/09/2022 07:30

Today, in an idle moment I tried to change the language on a Word document. Instead, I changed my default Office language, and now all my Office apps - plus all my work Excel files - are now in Ukrainian. It's really hard to fix when you can't read the instructions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 841

Could be useful in the right circumstances

By ThisIsYourDoc - 18/08/2023 14:00 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, I finished the rather expensive Arabic language course I have been taking for about 6 months. I still can't hold a conversation, but I can now say, "May Allah give you a headache and you are stuck in Beirut's traffic for two hours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 164

Please be patient

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - Elspeet

Today, and since I moved to the Netherlands in 2021, I have been learning Dutch ever since then, and have reached a Dutch accent point (Southern). Today I was in a shop and was asking a cashier for something behind the counter in Dutch. They answered in English to my request, even though they were CLEARLY Dutch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 434

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 768

You deserved it 2 351

Today, I'm a hotel housekeeper. I was warned by the manager that one of the rooms was "horrible." When I got to said room, I understood: what he meant; it looked as though it was raided by a drunken caveman. It took my friend and I almost an hour to clean it up completely. At least the "caveman" left a $2.00 tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 121

Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 350

You deserved it 7 740

Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 083

You deserved it 20 198

Today, I held the door open for someone and he said, "Thank you!" I said, "Thank you!" back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 468

Today, I wore a new shirt I was really pleased to have bought. As soon as I put it on, I noticed it was a bit tight, but I thought it would stretch out. By the end of the day, I looked like I was wearing a sausage casing. My coworkers couldn’t stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 402