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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    Fight

    Cassius

    By Noname - 11/03/2009 06:04 - United States

    Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 482
    You deserved it 9 482
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Relatable Dogs Delivery Wake up Work Food Language Cooking Annoying Bikes Transportation Technology Embarrassing Intimacy NSFW Sex Awkward Kids Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Animals Cats Gross Video games Gamers Divorce Music Cars Growing old
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    Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 499
    You deserved it 151
    Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 96 526
    You deserved it 6 075
    Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say, "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 650
    You deserved it 8 567
    Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 54 330
    You deserved it 4 139
    Today, I was at a guy's house that I’d been seeing for a while. After watching a movie, I confessed that after these past few times we’ve hung out, I’ve started to catch feelings. He looked at me and said, "I actually don’t think I want anything serious, but are you down to be friends with benefits?" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 594
    You deserved it 487
    Today, I tried to catch a rogue soccer ball at the park. I sprinted, leapt into the air, and managed to catch it. I also managed to trip on a picnic blanket, crash into a stroller (which was thankfully empty), and fall face-first into a salad bowl full of potato salad. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 152
    You deserved it 546
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