Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, discovered that all the viruses I have gotten on my computer at work haven't been from anything I've done, but because my boss has secretly been using it after hours to download or watch porn so he wouldn't risk getting a virus on his own computer. I've lost 3 major projects due to this. FML
Today, a coworker and I got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss's infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML
Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML
Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I set up an office laptop remotely from home. My own laptop screen sat next to that laptop screen. I wanted to wank so opened some porn on my own screen. Then my boss called and said, "There's smut playing on this laptop." Wrong screen, and my work PC was in console mode, so people had gathered to watch. FML
Today, I'm in my third week at a new job. Using an online service our company recommends, I accidentally downloaded a virus that is now working its way through our website, randomly sending our customers Viagra ads via our email. I personally had to tell the founder of the company. FML
Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened the browser repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML
Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
StarWolf111 21
Report him?
ninjuh_wingman 29
**** stars. Able to give you viruses both on and off screen.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (244)
MissMeButLetMeGo 0
Men these days...
Awsemogreeb 19
Sexists these days..
MedKits 9
People these days.
IAmNotAnAnimal 9
You do know that women watch **** too?
abby1029 8
all men dont watch **** .
slick5880 22
Steaming **** these days
Llamacod 11
I've read the post multiple times now and I see no place where it says the boss is a male. I think you assumed too much and you know what happens when you assume...you make an ass out out you...
Rinat_fml 26
FU #1
MissMeButLetMeGo 0
Yes, I realize it did not say the boss was a male.. I was only kidding. But I find it very amusing how you all get so worked up.
tatababe 1
Lol you should tell him you found out about his **** addiction his face will turn so white and he will be embarrassed
Rei_Ayanami 18
27 - You know, I've seen pictures of the girl in your profile picture many times, always with a different name. What is the obsession with people using other peoples pictures and pretending to be them?
urdirtyolduncle 15
^Because they're too ugly to put up their own.
NotDave 0
No, 66. You don't get to pull that "I find it funny how you get so worked up over it" bullshit. You posted a really stupid comment. Now you have to take responsibility for your own stupidity and stop acting as if the people who corrected your stupid post are at fault.
MissMeButLetMeGo 0
Woah, no one is at fault.. This app or website is just for fun. But SOME people are a little weird and take everuthing seriously. You're pathetic if you think I honestly care what you think, especially when your wrong. Lmfao "you have to take responsibilty"...I didn't realize this was a murder trial. Way to make my night! Seeyah.
DocBastard 40
"...especially when your wrong..." The irony in this phrase is magnificent.
SouthernKiller 4
Failing a lack of complete details in the FML's I think it's safe to make certain assumptions. Sheesh The Internet these days...
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Let's not feed the Troll, everyone. She just likes to **** with everyone and be the ******* cuntface bitch she is.
StarWolf111 21
Report him?
m0tl3ycru3 0
For wanking during a telephone confrence call?
BlanketHogger 0
Who would OP repot him to? After all OP stated that it was his/her boss
IronMaiden45 0
I'm pretty sure op can report it to his/her bosses boss because there's the owner who is the boss of the boss and the boss being the boss of the workers
Llamacod 11
Or her... Believe it or not , it is possible for a woman to be in a position of power too
yumlicious 4
Generally even bosses have bosses. There's always a higher up unless you're a CEO. But even then you have to listen to a board and can be fired. :|
Llamacod 11
Not every company has a ceo, sometimes your boss is just the boss.
Naitsi 19
do it
lil_miss_katii 7
He needs to be reported
margie2194 12
Don't leave us hanging, was the genre granny lesbian orgy?
22cute 17
Yes! Or confront him with the evidence!! The jerk.
NotDave 0
Llamacod, please gtfo. We don't need your kind here.
EvilPotato 15
Nice Skyrim reference.
Llamacod 11
And jim, I only call you that because you're not dave, what kind us that? And why the hell should I listen to you?
Rainbow_dumpster 28
@85: You first, asshole.
cooldukenukem 2
103 - am I missing the skyrim reference or did you reply to the wrong comment? I'm guessing someone took an arrow to the knee but I do not see it.
NullPointer 20
@43 wow, I can't believe people thumbed down your comment. I guess if you're not sexist everyone hates you. I know how that feels. All we know about this person is that they are a boss and like pornography. Yet somehow anyone who says "we don't know the person's gender" is thumbed down for being correct. Society is so sexist it sickens me.
ziruxx 4
Who said it was a he?
bubble25_fml 5
Report to Human Resources.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Like 148 said, calm your asses down about the "sexist behavior". Obviously we know the boss could be either a guy or girl. Just cuz' they referred to the boss as a dude doesn't mean they were trying to be sexist.
midnightxloner 1
I think it was a guy * looks around wondering what his sphincter is *
max_wilder 9
Blackmail?
NullPointer 20
@154 Being sexist isn't okay just because you weren't trying to be. The fact that society is so sexist that people are sexist without even trying (or even realizing it) is the problem.
xcowboys 0
Stop bringing tour ideas on sexism on a blog thats supposed to make you laugh, or cheer you up. You are entitled to your opinion, however im sure half the people on FML don't concern with these problems.
graham11 14
Why the hell would he be looking at **** on company computers?! He's an idiot..
Xr70r7 4
We wouldn't be having this conversation if you would just be in the kitchen:)
graham11 14
158- you don't know what a sphincter is?? You're an ASSHOLE.
n_epic_fail 14
How does someone who doesn't understand that watching **** could spread viruses to the companies computer system become the boss of the people that figure it out?
Meowingtons500 18
You could go and report him to the cyber police like Jessi Slaughters dad. :D
99problems99 0
It's people like you that ruin a nice work environment
Jonkbaby 23
tell him he either has to lose his right hand or his right handman
xphoebex 5
OP This isn't even an FYL it's FYBL (**** your boss's life) You never know , he could be sacked and you could be promoted! :D
howdmynosego 12
Reminds me of stupid stupid man
Pinecone69 3
Hahaaha report him
Llamacod 11
Or her... it is possible for a woman to be a boss too
ast3150 13
Report your boss, hdi :)
permannator 10
Well this seems to be a predicament..
linstar 13
So your boss is a an asshole AND a perv.
NOTquiteRAMBO 10
And his right arm is buff!
j_cat187 20
Boss could be left handed.
TheNewGuy03 29
The way I see it, the boss *is* a virus. |the kid|
aceman1992 9
He should feel lucky, I use to watch **** all day at work also. But then I took an arrow in the knee.
kevin1284546 0
mechanics arm, lol.
Mipz 2
At work? What is WRONG with people?
Brett121 6
Our FFA teacher watches **** in class and has gotten caught but the school board didn't do Anything.
Ecklcakes 15
^ Now that's ****** up
j_cat187 20
Dose the teacher use headphones or a home cinima system?
Brett121 6
Haha nope we can hear it in the class room
The_Troller 14
That's gotta be awkward. But just be happy that's all he's doing.
sheethapins 13
Reminds me of the time my old teacher got caught with a weed pipe and Betty Boop **** in his classroom. Ahh those were the good ol' days.
lor4888 0
167- In comparison no but it's still wrong. There's no reason to watch **** but because you find it sexually arousing. I don't think that watching **** makes you a perv but I do think it's unacceptable to watch it around children or at your job. The same way you wouldn't jack off in front of 8th graders.
heylesha 8
maybe he should do that on his OWN time
Llamacod 11
Or... She should do that on her own time.
soccerguy2 11
Llamacod- you gotta stop posting on every comment, we got that the boss could be a woman the first 4 times you said it.
olivia_r 0
46- Are you that stuck up about sexism? We all know that yes, women can be in power. Just stop. You sound ******* stupid. Who gives a flying **** if someone says his instead of her. Thank you. :)
Jonkbaby 23
what if it was during lunch or a break id have no issue with it but thats just me
heylesha 8
its still on work computers, AT WORK
turtleomnom 0
address the whole office and talk about someone's completely inappropriate behavior, leaving it anonymous.
sikmunkee 9
report that hoebag
yumlicious 4
Bag full of garden tools?
Zepset_fml 13
Report him for what? Working Hard?
Lights_Out_fml 6
**** > Work
The_Troller 14
**** > everything else
flockz 20
sex > ****
Belovan 2
Therefore games > everything else.
keven501 12
Really games>sex I mean games are fun but really it's sex > games get a life
obamathellama 0
I used to think sex was better than games, but then I took an arrow to the knee.
jbo116 0
182 - I used to make funny comments, then I took an arrow to the knee. Go ahead. **** me up. :)
flockz 20
i used to shoot people in the knees with arrows, then i got shot in the face.
docscientist 10
I used to think these jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow in the knee.
SxeDaze 13
I used to think flockz was funny , untill i took an arrow to the knee .
elementalz 2
Lol skyrim -.- for many of the ppl that don't get the reference games> sex
The_Troller 14
I took an arrow to the knee. But I still think flockz is funny.
megz4 4
No, not that Skyrim arrow jokes! The jokes are as annoying as the guards!
BD_Swingin 0
I used to enjoy sex' then I took an arrow in the knee and can only game.
WCARlover 35
Makes me wonder how you investigated...like going through his stuff or what? Cause if you obtained it without violating privacy then you could use it to report him or something
gusrick 20
IT people can do WHATEVER we want, we are untouchables, hahaha
WCARlover 35
Haha well there ya go then OP. Use it against him
Llamacod 11
Or her
white16sox 19
Llamacod we get it damn it now SHUT UP.
MerrikBarbarian 9
If you are on a office network the IT techs see what goes through all the computers. It's not a private machine.
silvercamaro 22
Yeah you know guys...no ones really pointed this out yet so I'll be extra sure to make it clear, the boss could be a girl, nobody really thought of that the boss could be a girl and now I'm going to reply to every comment that says him instead of her saying that the boss could be a girl, unless someone already beat me to it?
lovelife_1284 3
49- Just shut the f up already!!!!!!!
midnightxloner 1
They could have just traced the virus back to the computer it came from then put a rat there and within a day they would've found out. This is only if the business owned the computers which is what a presume
white16sox 19
I think all 17 of llamacod's comments have been on here about sexism.