Today, at my job in a cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like yours. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I yelled at a new employee for violating the company's makeup policy which is minimum coverage. She had red lipstick, very dark drawn eyebrows, and foundation that made her look like a ghost. She took out a makeup wipe and used it then showed me it, only to reveal she doesn't wear any. FML
Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML
Today, my boss commented on the fact that I don't usually wear makeup, then told me it would be much appreciated if I'd change that. FML
Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML
Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML
Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML
Today, at work, an old lady dropped her lipstick into the ladies' room toilet, which is out of order and won't flush. I had to reach in and pull it out amid human waste. She thanked me, then uncapped it, and put some on her lips. FML
Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML
Today, at the store, I didn't hear the cashier when she asked if I had a loyalty card. She took one look at my naturally bitchy-looking face and muttered "It's my JOB to ask, jeez." FML
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Top comments
iggz 0
"Trust me, you don't need any help in that department!"
DFlit1 0
Verbal bitch slap!!!
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Comments (102)
twofirstnames 12
Take it as compliment(:
chiddy_bang71 0
This lady is a consumerist saint.
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah, because that's quite complimentary..
derper71 3
Trollface.jpg?
JenDanielle917 13
Yes, because calling someone a bitch is a compliment.
DrDilllonReese 12
15- I prefer sarcasm.jpg, check it out sometime.
fr33m3xican 0
it takes one to know one :P
FarSide 23
A back-handed compliment if there ever was one.
twofirstnames 12
Well it also depends on the tone of the customers voice. But I don't think she meant what she said unless she intentionally wanted it to.
skata 4
1- didn't know you could use bitch as a compliment but I'm glad I do now, I'm gonna use it a lot more now
OneNightStan 2
Well this is an easy fix, wear less lipstick!
DoubleDose 0
Is anyone else stunned, I can't think of how awesome and hilarious this situation is. For some reason I just find it hilarious.
DFlit1 0
Verbal bitch slap!!!
DrDilllonReese 12
More like verbal roundhouse kick to the self esteem!
hannahcorrine 0
You should've responded "you don't need that! Your current shade looks great...what is it? "I'm a c**t"?"
DrDilllonReese 12
Holy shit. That comment fails harder than mine.. You've outdone yourself...
DrDilllonReese 12
Oh dear Lord I am sorry!!! I read that soooooooooo wrong! Please... Thumb down my previous comment to hell. Even I did.
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah, well I was just acknowledging my mistake and apologizing to the commenter for accidentally trolling. You were just a genuine troll. So good day to you sir.
dagwoodsammich 0
Like x1,000
Emmy_The_Great 2
wouldn't that be a kiss? Haha
moviegirl6 5
I would've slapped her.
chiddy_bang71 0
Why did my comment end up here?
chuymac 3
I would of said: I recommend something for your eye for that. Then would of punched square in the eye.
kcircuses2 4
you would have been fired then
ikickgingers 15
All right stop collaborate and listen...
franniedottp 8
Well I would've asked her "Awwwwww does someone need a hug?" And then proceed to squeeze her til she can't breathe.
moviegirl6 5
It would've been worth getting fired. I work in retail and customers like that are such a pain in the ass. The customer is most certainly NOT always right.
iggz 0
"Trust me, you don't need any help in that department!"
charlesnk7 0
Haha
markrs 0
I can see it now. Two women bickering in the make up aisle :)
MyHandIsADolphin 0
Did you bitch at her afterwards?
YourDone6 8
1-800 whoop a bitch!
SUEHIM 0
Not a valid number I tried it
exleonhart 0
Yes. Whoop a bitch. I like this.
btnhdude 0
I called, 6 times. Now tell me, have have you been whooped 6 times so far?
name_of_user11 2
Depends on the tone and inflection of her voice but overall I would have taken that as a compliment and had a smile on my face too! That sounds like an awesome customer :)
iKendall 3
Lol oh no ..
Jewdazking23 5
Yeah lets smoke another one bro
Enslaved 38
Some girls think being a "bitch" is considered a compliment and proud to be labeled as such. I'm sure that's what your costumer meant. If she meant it in a /bad way/, I doubt she would continue to let you help her. (:
alival 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Do u look at everything in a good way? And I dont think most sane people find this a compliment,
iceliebedich 7
I LOVE YOUR CAT!!! anyways, that's very true:)
Enslaved 38
Nope, I'm a tad bit morbid. (: but a "bitch" has MANY meanings. It can mean: ***Look at me. I'm a strong woman that doesn't take any crap from the world..... (and things along that line). Thanks for the compliment about my cat.(: He's looking at me wondering why I cut his balls off. Lol
Sirin_fml 47
Oh, in the original French version of this translated FML, the meaning was definitely insulting.
False_Stupidity 42
Keep in mind that the customer effectively called herself a bitch too, 'cause she wanted lippie that said so.. I'm going to go with the customer thinking it's a compliment.
Enslaved 38
Perfect song to sum things up, lalalady!
Jamicianprince 1
Damn that's mean
Jamicianprince 1
Why the f$%* do I keep getubg thumbed
False_Stupidity 42
Just because...
Jamicianprince 1
Hey I am peaceful and your hurting my feelings
illmatic2 16
Probably because your comment was boring and obvious.
Jamicianprince 1
Okay I am just here to comment no need to be a douche
Jamicianprince 1
Just leave me alone
illmatic2 16
I was only answering your question. Don't take it personally, buddy.
exleonhart 0
KHAAAAN!!!
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Cause your comments are all pretty much the same :P
BellaBelle_fml 23
This is why there is an age limit on FML.
eurekaroy 6
No.
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
I don't get how this is a FML...