Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my appliance job, we received a used dryer that needed to be fixed. I took it in the back room to test it. I plugged it in and turned it on. It started to smell so bad that I went to shut it down, but before I did I see two used condoms fly out of the back vent. FML
Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML
Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML
Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML
Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML
Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nicole2246 8
Haha Yes! :) You Better Hope That "Cums" Out Easy!
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
your face and comment freaks me out. mostly your face.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
jillianmathers12 13
That's gross! Hope you didn't get it on you!
margie2194 12
Someone had a quickie on the fax machine. Mmmm. Kinky. (admit it you got turned on)
Streeet_hayley 6
Free condom?
hockey199813 5
I did not
ikickgingers 15
I used to fill condoms with vanilla milkshake and put them on people's cars.
Streeet_hayley 6
Something against chocolate?^
DioxideSpartan 0
No but since when do people cum brown?
MrSarcasm 4
Who said it was cum?
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm pretty sure the vanilla milkshake was supposed to imitate cum...
Streeet_hayley 6
Sorry, I wasnt really paying attention to the joke
MrSarcasm 4
I meant who said the CHOCOLATE milkshake was meant to be cum.
zombicidal 11
practice safe fax
enonymous 9
Cyber sex just went old school
ohxdamnxkay02 12
safe sex is great sex. (:
tjv3 10
Duse that sucks I feel bad for you. you should have told them that it was a bio-hazard and they needed to call in a medical waste disposal team or buy a new fax machine . or tell then to get a scanner and email lol
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
"Damnit! There's a condom in the fax machine!" "Shit, not again! I'll call the maintenance guy."
FarSide 23
Try and look on the bright side. It could have been a used tampon.
tarabelle 7
Eww
CryMoreFMLs 15
Some people are very odd.
Zeek63 0
There is nothing wrong with lubricating the belts. I bet the fax machine enjoyed it!
flockz 20
im sure the fax machine loved getting its paper jammed.
Daralea 21
I've been staring at my fax machine for nearly 10 minutes trying to figure out how it would get in there. My most feasible answer is through the auto paper feeder on the top or in the tray. Both involve pinching and a lot of potential paper-cuts ...doing it in the office doesn't sound that sexy anymore.
sensfan7 3
You're cute
pllamah 9
That is an odd place to find that.
ihavenosoul 4
Really? I thought it was normal... Oops.
je_suis_fml 11
your hairs is an odd color.. so you and the fax machine are now even..
nolarboot 10
The guy was probably trying to have sex with someone in another office...
palahniukpaul 6
Yummm :)
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
your face and comment freaks me out. mostly your face.
IPoopedOnU 12
Same! Looks like a petifile!
nicole2246 8
Haha Yes! :) You Better Hope That "Cums" Out Easy!
olpally 33
Solid joke^
ipodlover1995 0
It was more sticky & liquid than solid...
aznpiboy24 5
^ Moment killer.
olpally 33
50- read my comment again... I can't teach common sense so I'll just let u fail hard on this one...
ipodlover1995 0
Sarcasm, my friend, sarcasm.
olpally 33
Failed attempt at sarcasm then... That's for sure...
cannibletaco 6
82- Every comment that you fail on, that I have seen, has been "sarcastic". Sarcasm is not the answer for everything.
ipodlover1995 0
Ok I didn't mean to piss eveyone off. I'm legitimately sorry.
Nosrebor 8
'Cum'on ipodlover....
Brooke57 8
Lovely :/
jillianmathers12 13
Why would she be wearing gloves for fixing a machine?
xOashleymarie 0
Pull it out quickly, or else there'll be problems later.
MrSarcasm 4
That's what she said.
Streeet_hayley 6
Sorry I was a little slow catching on..
MrSarcasm 4
Hehehe.
xOashleymarie 0
#25, exactly.
GoodLookingGeese 10
Once, employes at my company blew up a printer with a ruler, yeah a ruler!!? No one wanted even to say a sorry. I had to buy a new one.
je_suis_fml 11
hate to say it, but... cool story, bro..
GoodLookingGeese 10
thanks, at least you understood my pain.
BrianAlarcon 0
That's a sticky situation...