Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
Today, I held the door with my back to greet everyone into a meeting. When I followed the last person in, my waistband managed to get looped on the door handle and shut behind me as I walked away, taking my body with it. I was leading the meeting, as the branch manager. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I was called into my first day of work as a cashier. Not even 30 minutes into training, my boss had already "accidentally" touched my ass 7 times. FML
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Top comments
sherryl_fml 0
Which one felt better?
misslc 4
Did you pull the knob???
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Comments (125)
sherryl_fml 0
Which one felt better?
iLOLatURpain69 7
'A handful of my his crotch'
PsychoXtheXrapis 3
So their crotches are one in the same? My God... You can wank both of them at once and it'll feel twice as good! So ******* lucky!
humorizer 14
Looks like you grabbed the wrong knob.
dre_bro11 12
OP, is your boss a genuine creep, or did you just make him sound like one the way you worded the FML? If he is, then he probably enjoyed it anyway...
krazy_glu3 0
If you help him finish, you might get a raise. Go go go go!!
RandomBlackMan 0
did he say "ooo girl"
stro88 6
Might be a lawsuit depending on how firm you pulled his knob.
SirObvious 1
Sounds like a promotion to me
juicedboi 7
-51 oh I bet OP got a big raise out of him.
SwaggerMelon 6
Is he a tall guy or are the doorknobs low?
No_LoveMM 3
82 I don't think it is that, but it's just you go until you feel the knob, if you know what I mean.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
EVERY FML that mentions anything related to an occupation has a slew of "raise" comments. Get some new material, people.
humorizer 14
^ Or perhaps you're not clever enough to realize that by "raise", they're not talking about money, but rather... something going up.
nromanyuk 4
I would really want to know what happened afterwards...
sherryl_fml 0
Good jobb
sherryl_fml 0
Good jobb
aznpiboy24 5
Stalker Boss >:)
silver0jay 11
Get ready for that raise!
DizzyDemon0 9
Since you're the new favorite..you can do whatever you want! You're pretty much an assistant-boss now! Congrats.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Which kind of raise, silver? I was thinking flaccid to stiff.
hemz_fml 13
Has to be a copy I remember this one before
Janawa 22
LOVE YOUR ******* PICTURE!!!!!!!
mruizk9 7
u liked it ;)
BehindU 5
Dont see why your complaining both you and your boss got a raise.
extrasnipes 22
Plot twist OP is a guy
misslc 4
Did you pull the knob???
Lemuel_fml 5
Grabbed the wrong knob, haha
loveexgirl 15
A handful of my his crotch?
BallsFace 0
OP couldn't make her/his mind up.
EvanAGD 7
Did you get a raise at least?
haiu2323 10
I see what you did there! nice one man :D
schaflava 0
We see what you did there. Get off his nuts!
zinoxity 23
I bet the manager got a raise.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
OP should expect a bonus cuming up soon.
FlyingLazerWALRU 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Man, you guys are just living in the gutter.
sovietkiwi 0
59 go away
Captain0bv10us 0
Awkward
noshatsherlockk 15
Cockward.
walterism 0
whatever you say captain obvious
noshatsherlockk 15
84-... Way to ruin it.
savagearmz 6
PROMOTION!!
ahabsfan 17
I hope you look before eating a cucumber at lunch.
MarineWifey88 3
I've seen this one posted before.