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Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

#15195010
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16389) - you deserved it (9604)

On 03/04/2011 at 8:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16386) - you deserved it (10542)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore

Today, my boss came up to my desk to talk about a new project. He came up to my monitor so we can go to a website. My browser had frozen and I couldn't close it. The tabs I had open: Facebook, Gmail, Careerbuilder, Monster, and Resume Samples. FML

#768623
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16384) - you deserved it (64660)

On 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm - work - by ex-employee (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called up Verizon Wireless to "complain" about my phone service. I really had nothing to complain about, I was just that lonely that I wanted someone to talk to. FML

#14065426
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you deserved it (27672)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

#15251436
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (38440)

On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

#473
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (4475)

On 12/08/2008 at 9:03pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

#6035078
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16377) - you deserved it (32897)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML

#5626846
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16375) - you deserved it (4301)

On 10/03/2009 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by ohnoooooo (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently somebody saw me, I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML

#13883371
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16363) - you deserved it (25474)

On 11/17/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16357) - you deserved it (29391)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

#9387980
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16353) - you deserved it (22614)

On 03/25/2010 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by bad boyfriend - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16351) - you deserved it (21608)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML

#5814230
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16350) - you deserved it (30788)

On 10/13/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by awwshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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