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Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11852) - you deserved it (49719)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got called for a job interview. I didn't catch where it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask. I now have no idea where I'm being interviewed. FML

#17919933
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11850) - you deserved it (31889)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, was my first day back at work since my wife got breast cancer. I come in and see some people with pink slips and frowns. When I get to my desk I find a pink slip, I go up to my boss and start to curse him out for firing me. Only to find out my pink slip was a fundraiser for my wife. FML

#3198291
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11845) - you deserved it (56379)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:20am - misc - by YahItsMe94 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

#2111362
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11845) - you deserved it (69320)

On 05/20/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by fihifgni210 - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML

#13854303
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11844) - you deserved it (31208)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML

#1869904
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11843) - you deserved it (78518)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11842) - you deserved it (37828)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

#432
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11836) - you deserved it (37713)

On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

#17498648
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11835) - you deserved it (32879)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML

#12136195
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11829) - you deserved it (25995)

On 07/27/2010 at 12:38am - work - by uugnfg - United States

Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML

#16014326
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11829) - you deserved it (32314)

On 05/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by alchy (woman) - United States

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

#1118521
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (60233)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by confusedphotographer (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML

#5313316
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (50856)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by nV1ous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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