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Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

#21488242
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (2217)

On 11/04/2015 at 1:02am - animals - by downgirl - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML

#19944321
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (5226)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:12am - health - by goincrazy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

#20537793
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21700) - you deserved it (40227)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML

#19171997
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (4941)

On 02/26/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

#19306494
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (2420)

On 03/19/2012 at 8:39am - misc - by fuuu. - Hong Kong

Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML

#6441814
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (7007)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:23am - intimacy - by sexyconvo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (4868)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was 'the colours don't match'. FML

#6148778
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (5431)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

#21455862
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21689) - you deserved it (1843)

On 08/14/2015 at 3:01am - animals - by MushyKetchup (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

#21500142
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (1512)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm - animals - by not twilight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I organized a romantic evening with one of my old squeezes in the hopes I may re-ignite something special. She showed up at 8 and told me she had to leave by 9. She was gone by 8:30. FML

#2715
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (5159)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:56pm - love - by LDL - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

#1248718
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21684) - you deserved it (250610)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21684) - you deserved it (6079)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version



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