Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11030) - you deserved it (37316)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML

#16696125
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11029) - you deserved it (42647)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by Madmanmorton (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML

#4994596
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11027) - you deserved it (45405)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

#17366329
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11027) - you deserved it (47229)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:05pm - misc - by meganridner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11026) - you deserved it (36990)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11026) - you deserved it (27186)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

#8658890
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11025) - you deserved it (38770)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

#6312781
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11024) - you deserved it (20052)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML

#10044709
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (38158)

On 04/21/2010 at 4:29pm - work - by Z88 - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

#20123261
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11014) - you deserved it (33303)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML

#5285675
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11010) - you deserved it (36492)

On 09/16/2009 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11006) - you deserved it (51274)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML

#12836221
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11005) - you deserved it (48245)

On 08/31/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by weezel (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: