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The all-time greatest FMLs

Bet!

By I paid up - 18/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my friend was eating oyster crackers and was down to only a couple left. I told him that I would give him $5 if he managed to throw one of the remaining crackers across the room and into my open water bottle. Apparently he plays basketball in his spare time, because he made it in one try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 577

Cost of living crisis

By Dentistrysux - 22/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was telling my mom about how my dentist lectured me for not doing a cleaning in the past 5 years. I haven’t been able to do so because of affordability. My mom asked, “How about the thousands of dollars you spend in concert tickets and plane tickets to party and slut out with your friends every year?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 1 257

Flash meeting

By Anon office worker - 03/01/2026 15:00

Today, I tried to discreetly check my reflection using my phone screen during a meeting. Instead, I opened my front camera and took a selfie with the flash on. Everyone looked. I smiled like it was intentional. It was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 423

So brave

By Anonymous - 24/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, at university, I worked up the courage to speak up in a lecture hall of 200 people. I raised my hand, made my point, and felt pretty good until the professor said, “That’s exactly what I said like five minutes ago.” Half the room turned to look at me like I'd just woken up from a nap mid-class. Which I had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 607

Bike lock from Wish dot com

By Polly Molly - 03/03/2025 00:00 - Russia - Tula

Today, I rode my brand new shiny bicycle to work for the first time. I didn’t have time to figure out how my new lock worked, so I changed the 0000 code to some combination just to find it locked as I came back. After watching a tutorial and trying for 30 minutes, I just cracked it with pliers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 507

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to my cat licking my face. Cute, right? Turns out, she was licking the crumbs off my cheek from last night's pizza party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 532

Life ain't a Disney movie

By Phil - 06/01/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to pet a squirrel because it looked friendly. It did not feel the same way. Now I’m googling things like, "Can squirrels give you rabies?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 873

Try microplastics!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was helping a friend with a DIY project and thought it would be fun to add some glitter to the mix. We ended up using WAY too much, and now I have glitter everywhere. Not only am I covered head to toe, but I keep finding it in the weirdest places, like inside my shoes, on my phone, and even in my coffee cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 513

That one Orson Welles .gif

By I AM SO BORED - 06/12/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I sent a message to vent about my boring team meeting to the team group chat instead of to my friend. Everyone responded with a virtual slow clap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 766

Karma

By anon - 10/10/2023 10:00

Today, to get my coworker fired, I spiked his coffee with whiskey. Joke's on me, he's apparently enough of a drunk that it didn't affect him. Then I dropped the bottle as I was leaving for the day, cut up my ankle, and I'm now suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 2 222

Who's the boss?

By Anonymous - 07/08/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I don’t run my own company, my secretary does, by deliberately ignoring or changing my “little moments of idiocy.” I pulled her up on it so she showed me, in some detail, including documents I signed, proving that if she’d let me be in charge, I’d have gone bankrupt in 2021. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 829

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 638

Subway creeper

By Anonymous - 08/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 959

Who am I?

By Frederick - 11/10/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, I think I've figured out why I haven't had any replies to my job applications, or just weird ones. I was sending them from an old email address, which is something like "69_party_dude_420@…" (that's not the actual address, so don't @ me!) instead of my professional one, which is listed on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 602

Overconfident

By Tracey - 09/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, my 10-year-old niece asked me how to spell "embarrassing." I confidently spelled it out. She giggled and said, "No, that's wrong." She was right, and to make matters a tad ironic, I'd just finished bragging about winning a spelling bee back in middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 479

Gender confusion

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I went to the bathroom and thought, "Huh, why are there urinals in the girls' bathroom?", but I went into a stall, did my business, and left. There was no one around and when I walked past the bathroom again, there was a boys' bathroom sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 428

The more you know

By pedant - 24/12/2025 12:00

Today, I confidently corrected someone’s pronunciation of a word during a conversation. They pulled out their phone, looked it up, and turned the screen towards me. I was wrong. They said, “No worries!” while absolutely worrying me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 584

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with a cute girl when I asked the barista, “Make mine just like hers.” It turns out she'd ordered a decaf soy lavender tea latte. I hate all of those words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 831

Blundering my way through life

By Anonymous - 06/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I accidentally spoiled the ending of a movie for a group of friends who hadn’t seen it yet. In an attempt to apologize, I blurted out, "At least I didn’t tell you the twist!" They didn't even know that there was a twist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 656

Sorry Mom

By daniel - 24/11/2025 22:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a dick pic. I should have realized that "Morgan" is right next to "Mom" in my contacts list. I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 454

Policy of truth

By Lelsy - 08/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend’s family. His mother gave me expensive diamond earrings and treated us to brunch. I don’t know how I’m gonna have the heart to tell him that I’ve accidentally gotten pregnant from someone else I’ve been seeing. I can’t tell him it’s his because we haven’t slept together yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 2 054

No time for remorse

By Anonymous - 26/02/2026 15:00

Today, I found out that my ex-husband was telling the truth, he never did cheat on me. We've been divorced for six years and I just got remarried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 902

Busted

By Don13 - 28/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my soon-to-be ex-wife had installed a Ring front door camera. The way I found out was when the PowerPoint presentation I was supposed to present at work started with the footage of me taking my girlfriend to the house when my wife wasn’t around. The next slide said, “Call your lawyer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 1 767

Whatever floats your turd

By Self-loathing intensifies - 28/03/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 608

Don't cheat

By Anonymous - 04/08/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, I finally met the guy I've been getting to know online in person for a date. When we saw each other, we both realized that we had heavily Facetuned our profile pictures. The awkward silence that followed was the longest five minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 954

Like spinning plates

By Neill - 15/08/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me once again after getting back together for two weeks. Just two weeks earlier, I was seeing a girl. I'd ended things with her to mend things with my ex. I hit the girl up on Facebook to ask her out. She now has a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 1 036

Rave on

By Pain - 25/11/2025 22:00

Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 826

It's my passion

By Anonymous - 26/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent a Whatsapp message to my boss that was meant for my coworker. It said, “I’m so over this job, I can’t wait to quit!” I tried deleting it immediately, but the notification pinged right as he was sitting next to me in a meeting. He smirked and said, “Good to know you’re so passionate about this job.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 631

Wine buffs

By ThatWineGuy - 23/12/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, some friends and I had a wine tasting evening, and I tried to impress my friends by showing off my extensive knowledge of different wines. I confidently described the subtle "notes of vanilla and oak" in a bottle of wine… only to find out that my "friends" had pranked me, and it was actually grape juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 973

Tasty smell test failed

By Teen Idol - 14/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Lansing

Today, after a week of wondering why my room smelled terrible, I found the culprit: a moldy sandwich I'd hidden under my bed during a movie night to avoid sharing it with my brother. I don’t know what’s worse - the smell or the fact that I was outsmarted by a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 703

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The Top

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 807

You deserved it 2 230

Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 152

You deserved it 3 871

Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the liposuction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 779

You deserved it 5 788

Nononononono...

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 74

Excuse me, coming through!

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 98

Today, I had my first day off in six months. My mother immediately came down to my room and demanded that I clean the entire house. As I was cleaning, she said, "You don’t get to relax. Ever. Lazy ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 121