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Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25451) - you deserved it (3093)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25451) - you deserved it (2262)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, a guy took me to meet his parents on a second date. I stopped answering his calls afterwards, but he's just left me a voice-mail informing me that he's in love with me. I'm scared. FML

#18793920
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (8385)

On 01/13/2012 at 7:45am - love - by Jessch15 - United States (Texas)

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
122 comments

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

#21066687
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (49385)

On 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm - misc - by time to lawyer up (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (6416)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (46215)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

#13912441
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25448) - you deserved it (6825)

On 11/20/2010 at 2:07pm - kids - by Lexi - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

#17597789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25448) - you deserved it (5192)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25448) - you deserved it (4017)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

#14739407
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25446) - you deserved it (5340)

On 01/28/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by snappyPi -

Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML

#2972
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25445) - you deserved it (2285)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)



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