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Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook. I noticed she has an album of pictures for each member of the family, except me. The dog has an album. FML

#8790024
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (2591)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I found out that just because you express mail something, it doesn't mean the post office won't still lose it. What did they lose? My signed marriage license. We spent all that time and money to get married on the day of our choosing, and our marriage isn't even valid. FML

Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML

#17394408
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (5207)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:12am - misc - by ouch (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

 Today, I had to explain to my little brother yet again that no, socks don't count as toilet paper. FML

#21426539
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (2132)

On 06/15/2015 at 3:11pm - kids - by maggieyokoi -

Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML

#7294693
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27770) - you deserved it (2133)

On 01/12/2010 at 2:18am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

#20086696
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (2502)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (62448)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

#19488464
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (2741)

On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

#17751252
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (2002)

On 09/15/2011 at 1:56pm - work - by Hreyes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a panic attack so I went to my mum for support. She blocked her ears because my heavy breathing was annoying her. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

#21470947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (2971)

On 09/21/2015 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

#19316785
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27766) - you deserved it (4909)

On 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm - money - by Alyssa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (14377)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



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