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Kitchen nightmares

By Anonymous - 19/09/2021 00:30 - Australia - Mypolonga

Today, I dropped my phone in the frying pan whilst cooking my steak. I had to rinse off the oil immediately and clean the phone, then had to eat a cold steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 056

Just go for it!

By :( - 31/10/2025 09:00

Today, I've never celebrated Halloween or Christmas because my super-duper religious parents forbade me from doing so. Now I'm an adult and really want to make up for the childhood memories I was brutally robbed of, but I know people will laugh at me and say I'm too old if I try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 98

Brained

By Qwizzyk - 24/04/2024 17:00 - Russia - Tula

Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 709

I'm a wreck

By Anonymous - 03/11/2025 22:00

Today, I didn't know how to stop while rollerblading and unfortunately, had an accident that broke my wrist. Then, because I have soft bones, I developed moderate scoliosis. It's been about 10 years of scoliosis. I can no longer rollerblade, downhill ski, cross country ski, or snowboard, even if I wanted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 101

Friends for life

By Esther - 25/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 175

Why not both?

By Christine - 05/11/2025 09:00

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 120

That's capitalism, baby!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 04:59

Today, I went to see three houses to buy. For the past year I've been trying, but investors swoop in and buy the house cash to turn around and rent it. I just want my first actual home for my family, but one of the houses I was going to put an offer on already has a cash offer on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 112

Set up

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 09:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I got set up to go to prom with my friend, her man, and his twin brother. The twin I was set up with has decided to start talking to me over text, and proceeds to make racist jokes and acknowledges the full-on racism. My friend who's going with the brother? She's black. I'm stuck a whole night with this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 122

Time to move on

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 15:00

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years, whom I just signed a year lease, broke up with me, exactly a week after my best friend's funeral in my last year of college. I can't afford to live in our apartment alone. I'm going to have to drop out and move in with my sister states away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 149

Uranus

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my body couldn't seem to decide whether I had constipation or diarrhea, so it decided to split the difference by making me push my turd out painfully for ten minutes, then let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 75

The more the merrier

By ._. - 01/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I found out my niece will born in about two weeks. That's nice, right? It is… except for the fact that there will now be FIVE people in my family with a birthday in May. As if trying to plan for four birthday parties in three weeks wasn't bad enough. Why not five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 472

Forever alone

By Perry Winkle - 03/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, all I wanted was to spend some time with my husband, since we're always very busy. He couldn't be bothered to put down his video game. Guess I'm forever alone, even in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 152

Addicted to mid

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 00:00

Today, the Gen Z at the office introduced me to this book series from "#booktok." I thought why not, and i just read it. I ended up reading all three books in a week and obsessing over the series while the Gen Z didn't move past the first one. The series isn't even that good, but I'm stuck now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 333

Fun times

By jfjfjdh - 10/05/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my friend and I got back from a vacation, for which we both took time off work and coordinated. He didn’t want to do anything besides stay in the cabin and play video games. We went on a half-mile walk and that's about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 135

Everything must go

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 15:00

Today, I realized that I’m a loser. My coworkers have hit 9k and 16k in total sales, and I’ve never even come close to those numbers. I swear I work hard, but everything just sucks. I fucking hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 122

Nasty

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 22:00

Today, I begged the people at my new job not to call my current boss for a reference because he is a vindictive dog shite. They called him for a reference, he tanked me, they believed him and withdrew my job offer. My boss also sacked me for disloyalty, thus proving he’s a vindictive dog shite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 99

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 851

You deserved it 1 864

Beater

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I bought a used car from a private dealer my parents had recommended. On my way home they called to tell me that their car broke down. They bought it last week from the same guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 80

Rave on

By Pain - 25/11/2025 22:00

Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 801

Logan?

By Anonymous - 07/01/2023 00:00

Today, I got scammed and lost thousands of dollars, but my best friend would rather post on Instagram than reply to my texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 846

Go team!

By Mustanggt - 28/11/2025 22:00

Today, my team was mistakenly scheduled against an over-60 team. I'd feel sorry for the old fogeys if they hadn't beaten us 3-0 and racked up seven yellow cards and a red on the way to doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 334

Picasso in training

By Anonymous - 18/05/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I discovered my 3-year-old daughter's artistic skills. She managed to draw an elaborate mural on our living room wall. The masterpiece? A stick figure family, including our dog, but instead of a tail, he has a second head. She of course used permanent markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 171

Talk saucy to me

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 20:00

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I asked him if he was going to fuck my brains out and make me his dumb little cock sleeve. He said, "That's kind of degrading, isn't it?" Instant mood kill. Never date a man who can't talk dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 310

It's all too much

By Ken Solo - 16/10/2021 14:00

Today, I had a coworker shout profanities at me and say he was going to punch me in the face. HR tells me they have a no tolerance policy, and I needed to stop being passive aggressive. He's the active aggressor with anger problems, but who isn't being reprimand, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 114

Nature calls

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 22:00

Today, I was out hiking when I needed to go pee. I thought no one was there because it isn't popular so I pulled down my pants. I heard footsteps so I pulled my pants back up and kept walking. There were people behind me, and one of them came up and said, "Hey, your undies are showing." I was wearing hot pink ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 320

Stiffed

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 22:00

Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 406

By [SiMON] - 06/01/2009 09:51 - France

Today, I invited a girl I really like to spend the afternoon at my place. Everything went great... with my sister. They became really good friends, and me, well, I tried to alleviate my boredom in front of my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 117

You deserved it 2 878

Lonely, so lonely

By Mike - 19/10/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 121

Buzzed

By Head Cold - 07/12/2025 12:00

Today, after I watched my girlfriend get her head shaved in preparation for chemo a few days ago, I took the clippers and buzzed my long, well kept hair, gave her a loving hug, reminding her that, "We're at this together." She later broke up with me because I, pretty much, "look like shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 112

I'll give you something to mope about

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 11:00

Today, I got fired from my low-paying, depression-inducing job. At least now I have a "real reason" to be depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 130

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The Top

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 245

You deserved it 4 193

Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 748

You deserved it 2 409

Today, as a waitress at Denny's, I had a 25 top table. Only 3 of them spoke English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 909

You deserved it 480

Today, my old boss is such an arsehole that not only did he fire me last week, he completely forgot about firing me and when he saw me in the shop as a customer, he yelled at me for being late and out of uniform. I swear his mother didn’t birth him, she shat him out the other hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 99

Today, while leaving late for work, I walked out to my car only to find the back window broken. Worst part was, I still had to go to work because no one who could cover me showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 86

Today, one of my junior marines called to tell me they were in an accident that totaled both cars. The car he hit was parked in a nearby parking garage. It was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 439

You deserved it 482