The Top

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Thanks, I hate it!

By LinkyMan - 14/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out my long distance girlfriend gave me chlamydia, after I spent $1k to fly her out for a week. I paid for an STD delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 153

The grey zone

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 18:00

Today, man do I feel old. For the first time ever, a teen thug with more acne spots than brain cells told me to, “Piss off grandad.” Grandad? Guess I look older than I feel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 100

I'm outta here

By Not your maid - 23/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend screamed at me for not cleaning his son's bedroom. The kid is 13 years-old, and there's nothing physically or mentally wrong with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 101

Hero complex

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was walking through a Tesco's car park when I saw a shopping trolley slowly rolling towards me. I figured I’d be a hero and stop it before it hit a car. As I grabbed it, I slipped on a patch of ice and crashed straight into the cart, sending right it into the car I was trying to protect, denting the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 99

Pick on someone your own size

By FluffythePink - 07/10/2023 12:30

Today, I was fighting to change a toilet seat when it suddenly came free and, thanks to physics, I promptly smashed myself across the bridge of my nose with the edge of it. I now have a purple nose and it's starting to spread to my eyes. I now have to explain to people over the next week or so how it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 169

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that while he was dog-sitting during my holiday, my little brother was pretending my house was his to prove to women he was older than 16. I found this out when I got home and checked my CCTV system. He didn’t even wash or change my bedsheets either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 268

Loyalty

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Kenner

Today, after I finally got up the courage to talk to the girl I'd been crushing on for years, we've got super close over a few weeks. Her best friend, who I'm kinda friends with, texted me, confessing that she likes me. Now the first girl won't talk to me for the sake of her best friend, who I'm not interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 92

Frazzled

By Stressed - 17/10/2023 07:30 - United States

Today, at the ungodly hour of 11 PM, my dad called to tell me he was driving my mom to the hospital because she was having breathing problems. It turned out to be nothing serious, but my brain decided to freak out anyway, effectively making me unable to fall asleep. Now, I have to go to work like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 286

Bygone days

By No fun for me then - 08/04/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Spicy

Today, my wife was telling me about some kinky things she did with a previous boyfriend. Since my sexual adventures were fairly limited compared to hers, I commented that I would like to try that sometime. She said, "Why would we have kinky sex? We're already married." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 98

Copaganda

By Anonymous - 18/10/2023 07:30

Today, my dad is trying to kick me out to become homeless, because it’s my goal to become a police officer, and since he’s served prison time I’m now scum in his eyes and a disgrace to our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 313

Casual

By Patrick - 11/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to meet a friend for coffee. When I arrived, I mistakenly thought it was a casual meet-up, but apparently, it was a date. I didn’t realize this until she leaned in for a kiss at the end, and I awkwardly offered her a fist bump instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 106

Bursting at the seams

By Anonymous - 22/10/2023 07:30

Spicy

Today, after I returned from business dinner at a hibachi restaurant, my wife decided she wanted sex for the first time in years on a weekday. We did it and I pooped a little on “our” stupid white comforter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 384

Kids hear EVERYTHING

By Anonymous - 03/05/2021 22:01 - Canada - Westbridge

Today, I was listening to an inappropriate song while driving around when I heard my 3 year-old in the back seat say the n-word. If you hear kids screaming, "LEGOS, LEGOS!" out of the windows as I drive by, that's my pathetic attempt at reversing the language they heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 1 235

Computer says no

By firelava - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I waited two hours in line at college to select my classes. I finally got to the desk, only to be told I have to apply online before I can show up in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 770

You deserved it 9 986

Recycle this!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 00:01

Today, I ordered and paid for a compost bin to be emptied in addition to the garbage. Turns out most of what I wanted to put in there – although perfectly compostable – is not allowed in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 184

For science

By Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 746

Template

By Chad - 21/04/2025 20:00 - United States - York Village

Today, I made a digital contact card for my department that needed to be sent to payroll. Since we didn't have one before, I sent a copy to the rest of the department to use if they wanted. I didn't send the blank though. I sent 100s of people all of my contact info. Somehow, I managed to misspell my own name too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 518

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 04:00 - United States - Menlo Park

Today, I was going to ask my coworker to cover for me for a few hours so I could go somewhere where they would pay me for my opinion. I had rescheduled this. Before I could ask, my coworker messaged asked if she could take the exact same time and date off to take her son to a school event. She beat me to it, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 411

RIP Buddy

By Anonymous - 22/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I held my 14 year-old dog as he passed away. He made me a better person and I spent more time with him and loved him more than 99% of the population. I don't know how I'm going to do tomorrow when I dig his grave, and know he's not with me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 91

False advertising

By Anonymous - 25/04/2025 03:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, after I bought what were labeled as “8 Pink Tulips” and planting the bulbs, they turned out to be 6 whites and 2 reds. Well, I guess if you’re talking mathematical average, that counts as pink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 84

Dry phone

By Keijah Curtis - 31/10/2023 22:00 - United States - Lansdowne

Today, I was on Instagram and I sent a meme to my other account. Tell me why as soon as I switched over and saw my one chat notification, I got excited, then remembered I'd just sent myself a meme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 322

By stupidcunt - 14/04/2014 23:43 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 552

You deserved it 5 359

Charity

By HashimotoGirl - 02/11/2023 12:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I found out my “boyfriend” is going out with me because he feels sorry for me. He and his friends have a group chat where they call me “Miss Piggy” and post fat jokes about me. I have a thyroid condition and hurt both my knees in an accident, so it’s really hard for me to be in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 160

Lore dump

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I made the mistake of showing an interest as my boyfriend was playing the new Assassin's Creed. Now I like that he enjoys gaming, but I was not expecting to be given a crash course in Assassin's Creed lore and history all the way back to the first game. It lasted ages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 403

By Ieri - 12/04/2014 21:56 - Albania

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 003

You deserved it 5 665

Ieri tells us more.

Ieri 31

Sunday 13 April 2014 23:02

Hey OP here o/ Lots of these comments cracked me up, you guys are awesome xD So here's the follow up: In the end someone who saw what happened grabbed the guy and we could get the phone back (Yes, an iPhone) but he ran away, though it doesn't matter anymore. In response to the comments: 1.I didn't expect him to run after the thug just because he's male, I understand why he'd freeze up, I just didn't expect he'd start crying without saying a word and it was kinda embarrassing. 2.Yeah probably going after him wouldn't have been the safest thing to do, but caught in the spur of the moment that was all I thought to do. And calling the police wouldn't help where I am, they're practically useless -.- Calling for a robbed phone would do nothing. 3.I'm not breaking up with him just because of that, I love him, things happen, I'm not that shallow. Thanks for your comments anyway xD

Roadkill

By Anonymous - 11/05/2021 16:58 - United States

Today, I saw maggots dropping from beneath my car. I looked under, to see a rotting paw dangling from my engine. That would explain the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 179

Check your feeds!

By Captain Oops-a-Lot - 03/11/2023 00:02

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I mistakenly took a screenshot and then proceeded to fumble my phone. It wasn't until 5 hours later when I recharged it that I realized I had unintentionally posted the screenshot of me on the toilet to Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 616

Brave

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 03:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I found out that my ex slept with someone during a work trip and came back to break up with me. He spent the whole breakup making me think that the problem in the relationship was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 84

Ticket to ride

By Newny_Newny_Newny - 04/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after I just finished a 16-hour double shift, my brother asked me to ride with him to do an Instacart. While delivering these people’s groceries, his car overheated and oil light came on. He had no money, so I had to fix and pay for the parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 86

Cool beans

By HousewifeBlues - 10/11/2023 21:00

Spicy

Today, I confronted my husband about the sexts between him and another woman. He says it’s “just chatting” and “It’s not like I’m gonna do it in real life, I got you baby.” He called me unreasonable for getting upset. He’s sulking right now because I refused to fix him dinner tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 136

FML on Facebook

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The Top

The Top

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 181

You deserved it 1 639

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 179

You deserved it 2 111

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 853

You deserved it 4 365

Today, I met my long-distance boyfriend in person for the first time. He insisted on bringing all of his friends, and when he went to the bathroom, one of them punched me in the face for "stealing his bro". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 179

You deserved it 415

Today, my mom filmed our friends running into each other with exercise balls. One of the balls got lost, and I was seen in the video running to retrieve it. One commenter in the video said she "loved the woman running for the ball." Last time I checked, I'm not a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 212

Today, I’m walking around the streets with my stuff in a rolling suitcase. My mom saw fit to kick me out of the house because she found sextoys in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 249