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By Anonymous - 21/05/2011 14:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 486

You deserved it 7 824

X Æ A-12

By invalid - 07/06/2021 10:59

Today, while applying for jobs, every single application has been giving me the error message, "Name not valid." Sorry the name my parents gave me isn’t good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 121

NOT THE MAN BUN!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I watched my future son-in-law try and fail to parallel park 8 times before he gave up and started crying. That’s the 4th time he’s cried this weekend. I’m trying so hard to understand why my daughter loves him. He’s an unemployed little crybaby, with a man bun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 258

Rain stops play

By Wilf - 22/02/2013 15:48 - Australia - Perth

Today, the arts company I work for cancelled our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, and will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office trained in ticketing. It stopped raining 10 minutes after we cancelled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 900

You deserved it 2 774

Well played

By anonymous - 05/03/2014 05:43 - United States - League City

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 405

You deserved it 3 645

Long distance

By singlesailor - 19/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 569

You deserved it 4 482

Bunch of amateurs

By Anonymous - 14/12/2023 09:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I got my 9 year-old daughter back from a sleepover at my mum's. My 17 year-old niece was also staying there at the same time, and heard my daughter complaining that her fringe was in her eyes. My niece decided to cut my daughter's hair. There are now chunks missing and it's all uneven. No one asked my permission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 106

You deserved it 40 091

By me - 12/03/2012 02:49 - United States

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 134

You deserved it 3 601

Don't shoot the messenger

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I took my best friend to see her dad in hospital. While they were talking in another room about his care, he took his last lucid words before his death. I was the only one there and I'd never even met him before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 71

Genius

By cunting cuntface of a boss - 25/02/2014 20:42 - Australia

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 302

You deserved it 3 498

Stoooooop!

By DIY560 - 24/02/2014 03:59 - United States - Ambler

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 786

You deserved it 3 731

By Edgarillo - 14/02/2013 07:59 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 67

By bobby - 12/06/2010 22:13 - United States

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 62 571

Side effects

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 19:59 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 152

It's a holly, jolly Christmas

By KittyT - 06/01/2024 09:38 - Australia - Buderim

Today, Christmas got cancelled this Saturday because of my narcissistic sister being upset that the guest list has two of her old friends, who are now my friends. It's my first Christmas with my family or friends in 23 years, and my mum even offered her a separate dinner on the 25th, but nope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 250

KittyT tells us more.

KittyT 13

Friday 22 December 2023 7:46

the 2 friends are our other sister(was adopted when we were her and I were 12 and we had a falling out as teenagers and made up recently), and her ex best friend who was clear that he had no interest in her and never would... but my sister was delusional.that would change... then our other sister and her ex best friend met and started flirting and she attacked them for it.

Waiting line

By Anonymous - 25/06/2025 09:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, just like every day for the past two months, I have bled quite a lot into the toilet. The emergency room said it was a GI bleed, but that it would take a while to get it checked. Six weeks is not what I expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 79

By ashamedklutz - 22/02/2014 00:20 - United Kingdom - Dunfermline

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 610

You deserved it 5 062

By Anonymous - 07/05/2011 05:58 - Canada

Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 053

You deserved it 9 002

Monster madness

By Anonymous - 29/12/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son and his girlfriend cancelled their wedding and eloped because they were sick of my ex-wife being a Monster-in-law. The last straw was when she called the dress shop and tried to cancel the wedding dress because it “made her look like a slut.” Now I missed seeing my son get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 181

Feeling let down

By Ryan - 27/06/2021 02:01

Today, after my fourth flat tire, I realized that I've had more flat tires in the last 2 years than months in relationships throughout my entire life. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 159

The R-word

By How old am I again? - 05/09/2022 00:30 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 508

Hell in a handbasket

By Depressed - 01/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I live in a country where people are debating something called "The big, beautiful bill." The bill itself is terrible if you're not a sociopathic rich person, but the media is actually using that name. Big beautiful bill. Are we a nation of children? If so, well, googoo gaga I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 278

By GarageSallin - 07/02/2013 15:24

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 509

You deserved it 3 891

Weird friendship, but OK

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 14:01

Today, I'm completely in love with my best friend, who I've known for over 10 years. I can't get him out of my head. Too bad he's married, with 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 475

Badass

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 09:00

Today, on a plane, a little kid was kicking the back of my son's chair. When the kid's mom went to the toilet, my son told this little kid, "If you kick my chair one more time, I’m going to kill your mom and you’ll never see her again." He stopped kicking but damn, what kind of son did I raise? FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 258

By alchy - 02/05/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 978

You deserved it 36 281

Covid 24

By Yudith - 01/01/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, I am passing New Year's Eve alone with my cat because everybody around me decided to celebrate in close committee, had a family emergency, or caught the C plague. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 137

By Mattrd - 05/02/2013 00:42 - United States

Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 715

You deserved it 3 953

Go on, give me one

By Anonymous - 10/09/2022 21:30

Today, I’ve had it with my best friend. She is a very jealous individual, who is never happy for me. I told her I was going to be a grandma again to ANOTHER set of twins, this time paternal, and we are going to have 6 grandbabies now. She got an attitude, and said, “Well, isn’t that nice” and then insulted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 329

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Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 013

You deserved it 3 221

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 012

You deserved it 4 142

Today, I woke up in hospital. Apparently, I fell down the stairs, broke 3 ribs, one toe, and hit my head so much that 12 stitches were needed. I also blacked out for an hour before my husband found me covered in blood. Recovery should take about a month and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 092

You deserved it 155

Today, I was "that idiot" who spent ages making a soup stock from meat and vegetables, but then while separating it forgot to put a pan under the strainer, so I poured the finished stock down the sink, leaving me with only the boiled meat and veg sat sadly in the strainer. Takeaway chinese for tea, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 435

Today, I discovered that more than half my family has disowned me on both my mother's and father's sides, and whilst I was having my mental breakdown about this, I tried to call my boyfriend to tell him what had happened, He fell asleep and didn't call me back for 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 279

Today, my girlfriend invited me over to her family’s house for dinner. Every dish was packed with onion, garlic, pepper, and some spices I couldn’t even identify. I couldn’t actually taste the meat or the side dishes. All the nuance had been obliterated. I think they might not have taste buds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 344