The Top · The top of the year

Horrorized · 22 May 2026, 03:00 ·Makati City, Philippines

Where on Earth do you work?

Today, my spiritual faith is put to the test. Divine intervention? Spiritual challenge? No. I somehow got in the middle of a violent argument between two colleagues, who both think I'm on the opposing side. One claims she knows witchcraft, the other claims to have "unseen friends" who owe him big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289 You deserved it 85

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Anonymous · 24 May 2026, 12:00 ·Burnaby, Canada

Strange encounter

Today, I finished a very difficult order and brought it to a client's house. He greeted me at the door in his underwear, and thanked me by kissing me. Now his whole neighbourhood probably thinks we're gay, even though I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320 You deserved it 90

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Anonymous · 29 May 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Safety first

Today, my parents had my little sister's birthday pool party at our house. My mom decided to tell all the guests that the pool was "just for decoration" and nobody would actually be allowed to swim in it. Cue a million screaming tantrums and my parents and even me receiving tons of hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399 You deserved it 116

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Anonymous · 11 June 2026, 22:00 ·St Louis, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Turn off

Today, after many comments over years about her needing to lose weight, I had to tell the woman I love, the woman I married, that she had gotten so overweight that the sight of her naked made me want to puke. Apparently her goal was to get so fat I'd stop asking for sex. I'm her third divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485 You deserved it 222

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TheDivorceCameFromNoWhere · 14 June 2026, 03:00 ·Germany

Convoluted

Today, I give my everything to my family and husband. Every penny I earn, hot meals daily, a clean house, and love. Despite all this, my husband asked me why I am still alive and told me to go and die. On my birthday. All because I mildly offended his third cousin against a ridiculous request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497 You deserved it 79

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Anonymous · 11 July 2026, 09:00 ·Canada

Like and subscribe!

Today, after I bought a giant bag of birdseed yesterday because birds kept visiting my balcony, I woke up to dozens of pigeons waiting outside my door like I'd accidentally started a subscription service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 You deserved it 397

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Brad · 20 July 2026, 12:00 ·Atlanta, United States

So, so tired

Today, I got off night shift and went home to make a batch of taquitos. I put them in the oven and sat down on the couch, only to pass out. I woke up 8 hours later to my wife getting home from work and freaking out that the house smelled like smoke. I think I overcooked them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254 You deserved it 184

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that's a low blow bro · 5 August 2026, 12:00 ·Seattle, United States

Reality check

Today, I was staying at a friend's, and I called my girlfriend in the morning to serenade her awake with a sweet song. My friend stared at me, then shook his head and said, "I suddenly understand why you got cheated on in the past." FML

I agree, your life sucks 210 You deserved it 380

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Anonymous · 7 August 2026, 20:00 ·United States

Jumping to conclusions

Today, I’ve been getting death threats after a former friend did a storytime online about me getting rid of my dog after having a baby. She completely left out I had no choice but to rehome my dog because my baby is deathly allergic and had to be hospitalized for breathing problems from the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436 You deserved it 87

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Anonymous · 12 August 2026, 09:00 ·Dallas, United States

Stuck

Today, my parents canceled our trip to Greece because my siblings were being brats. When I tried to point out that I wasn't doing anything, they just shrugged and said, "Sorry honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 70

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Anonymous · 14 August 2026, 15:00 ·Reading, United Kingdom

Discreet

Today, I tried to discreetly remove a tiny piece of spinach from my teeth during a meeting. I was looking into my phone camera when I realized I wasn't on the front camera. I had been staring at the meeting in progress through the rear camera for thirty seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 You deserved it 311

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Anonymous · 16 August 2026, 22:00 ·United States

Living in perfect harmony

Today, after hearing them stomp around all summer, my upstairs neighbor’s obnoxiously loud kids finally started school. Now I get to hear them get up at 6:30am and stomp around while they get ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290 You deserved it 64

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FHL too. · 2 September 2026, 00:00 ·Mexico

Not going back

Today, I found my ex on Bumble for the second time. She lives with her husband, whom she married a decade ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286 You deserved it 98

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Yudith · 22 September 2026, 20:00 ·Montreal, Canada

Tasty treat

Today, I caught one of my cats drinking my coffee again. Seems like I'll have to buy one of those mugs with a ceramic lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132 You deserved it 226

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Clean toilet empty bed · 2 October 2026, 00:00 ·New York, United States

The ick

Today, I found out that the reason I gave a girl "the ick" was something she saw in my bathroom. Was it a filthy sink, a massive skid mark, or some kind of bizarre sex toy? No, I use those blue toilet cleaner tablets and apparently that means I'm a "prissy princess". FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 50

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Anonymous · 13 October 2026, 12:00 ·Atlanta, United States

Piss off, perv

Today, 40-something year-old man hit on me at the mall (I'm 14), then told me that ladies needed to dress like ladies after I made a joke to my friend about wanting to wear jeans to homecoming. I'm not a girl btw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348 You deserved it 75

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Anonymous · 18 October 2026, 00:00 ·Jette, Belgium

Where are you?

Today, it's my birthday. After I chose a restaurant, made a reservation, and organised a babysitter, I've been sitting here alone for over an hour, still waiting for my husband to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 62

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It's Somewhere Safe · 27 October 2026, 03:00 ·United States

The clicker

Today, I finally finished building my own custom TV stand that would work in my small living room with brick walls. Now I can't find the remote. Anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 You deserved it 124

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Anonymous · 29 October 2026, 12:00 ·Bangor, United States

Random, bizarre, but OK

Today, I shaved my armpit hair. After growing it for so long, it's gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 You deserved it 304

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Anonymous · 5 November 2026, 09:00 ·Brooklyn, United States

I'M WALKIN' HERE!

Today, I'm on the J train in Brooklyn NY and we are dead-stop in the middle of the track between stations because someone is literally on the track ahead of us. NYPD is handling it, and the train conductor said, “We hope to be moving ‘eventually’…” I love NYC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208 You deserved it 47

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Anonymous · 10 November 2025, 22:00

Weird and gross

Today, as we talked after we woke up at a sleepover at my house (16th birthday gift), my best friend sat up, grabbed her belly, and started grunting. I asked what's wrong and she said, "I have to poop" and she did, right there in her underwear. The turd she pushed out was so big, her panties overflowed. We shared a bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 12 December 2025, 22:00 🌶️ Spicy

I'm out

Today, is another day that my wife will choose anything over sex. I don't want to flirt with her anymore. If I can't have a normal sex life, I would rather embrace celibacy. I love her and was flirting with her daily up until now, but if she needs some other kind of confirmation to feel sexy, she can go ahead and find it. I'm done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399 You deserved it 156

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Anonymous · 24 December 2025, 03:00

Disrespect

Today, I found out my boyfriend of three and a half years is talking to two other women. I’m four months postpartum. Not to mention, he took our child to go see one of his girl best friend's house, when I specifically asked him not to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405 You deserved it 149

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Anonymous · 11 January 2026, 12:00

Where am I?

Today, I tried to unlock my front door before realizing I was at the wrong apartment, on the wrong floor of the building. The actual resident opened the door while I was still jiggling the handle. This has happened twice now since I moved in a month ago and am still confused by the floor signage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 You deserved it 344

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Anonymous · 27 January 2026, 09:00

ESL FML

Today, I’m a recent immigrant and finally felt confident enough to make a joke at work in my second language. During a meeting, I meant to say, “This deadline is tight,” but I said, “This deadline is aggressive.” The room went silent. My manager slowly replied, “The deadline is not mad at you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 382 You deserved it 111

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Anonymous · 3 February 2026, 03:00

Sibling rivalry

Today, my siblings canceled my birthday LUNCH that THEY planned FOR ME while MID-LUNCH at a different place WITHOUT ME. They decided that my birthday should just be done two weeks later ON MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY. I feel discarded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 87

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Anonymous · 11 March 2026, 22:00

Keep me out of this

Today, I found out I can't go to Los Angeles to visit my grandparents for spring break like I'd planned because my asshole dad got some sort of court order preventing me from leaving the state. He and my mom are in a custody battle over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493 You deserved it 78

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Anonymous · 14 March 2026, 03:00

Dope

Today, someone told me to be the adult in my kid's unexplained shunning of me. She’s 30. I just spent 3k on a graduation party. No thanks from her. Yes, I’m a dope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314 You deserved it 162

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Anonymous · 23 March 2026, 09:00

Bide your time

Today, I'm being forced to go back to my parents', who kicked me out because they thought I was gay. I'm not. There was a misunderstanding. I don't want to go back to them because they've shown me what kind of people they are, even if I'm straight, but the police and Social Services are making me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 6 April 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Unfair

Today, I lost my custody battle and I have to return my grandchildren to my disowned daughter, who was allowing her now ex-husband to abuse them. I can't appeal or anything because frankly we don't have the funds. I wish I'd never had her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551 You deserved it 94

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