The Top · The top of the year

Brave boy · 2 July 2026, 03:00 ·United States

Pure cinema

Today, I took my grandmother shopping and insisted on carrying everything myself. Halfway across the parking lot, one bag ripped open and 6 oranges rolled in different directions. Watching 3 strangers chase fruit while my grandmother laughed harder than I've ever seen was somehow both wholesome and humiliating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304 You deserved it 103

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Matt · 18 July 2026, 00:00 ·Wilmington, United States

Geezer

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. I ordered a cocktail with my meal. I got carded, but had left my ID at home. Instead, I took my hat off to show that I'm bald. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 100

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Anonymous · 22 July 2026, 15:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Nothing?

Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287 You deserved it 106

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Anonymous · 24 July 2026, 22:00 ·Calera, United States

No dice

Today, I interviewed with a company 5 times over the course of 7 weeks. It was going really well and although not my dream job, it would provide a step up for my family. I got the offer letter at 1 PM! As I’m reading it, I realize it’s actually addressed to the other finalist. Sent to me, not for me. Offer rescinded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418 You deserved it 56

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Distracted · 6 September 2026, 15:00 ·Portland, United States

Nostalgia bait

Today, I found my old school yearbook while cleaning and decided to look up what everyone was doing now. I spent two hours searching for old classmates online, comparing careers and vacations. I then realized I'd completely ignored the pile of laundry I'd started cleaning the room for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 You deserved it 330

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Anonymous · 22 September 2026, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Safety first

Today, on a whim, I tried the handle of the front door we never use and found it was unlocked. No one can remember the last time we used that door, and it opens directly onto the pavement, meaning for potentially years anyone could have strolled in at any time. Maybe they already have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127 You deserved it 337

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Kyla · 27 September 2026, 03:00 ·Brewer, United States 🌶️ Spicy

A quick one

Today, before detention, me and my boyfriend snuck into the bathroom for a quickie. There were hall monitors camping outside for the next 30 minutes. We missed detention and never even got busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 You deserved it 371

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Anonymous · 8 October 2026, 20:00 ·Dallas, United States

No time for tears

Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539 You deserved it 65

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Anonymous · 15 October 2026, 15:00 ·United States

What just happened?

Today, I spent my lunch break helping a coworker move a desk to another office. When I got back, my own desk had been moved to make room for someone new. Nobody had told me where they’d put it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 You deserved it 52

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Anonymous · 22 October 2026, 12:00 ·Bridgeton, United States

Square one

Today, I finally confronted my mom for robbing me of my inheritance from my dad. Apparently she was justified in taking it because she "needed it to raise me" and "to keep a roof over our heads" as I was growing up. As a result, I'm an adult with no nest egg whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 You deserved it 521

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Crumbs · 29 October 2026, 09:00 ·Berlin, Germany

Borderline

Today, I had a big fight with my husband. We'd made a plan for our vacation and I stuck to the plan. He screamed at me for sticking to the plan. When I pointed out that he made the plan, he shouted at me some more because I'd "spoiled the vacation." Later, he asked if I was hungry. No apology. No acknowledgement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320 You deserved it 65

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Anonymous · 2 November 2026, 22:00 ·United States

Déjà vu

Today, my 20 year-old self, who works shift work, learned by accident that my 14 year-old brother has been using my toothbrush for the past 6+ months. I wouldn't have known due to my schedule until just now when I found it was wet. He admitted it, but was upset with me for using HIS toothbrush. It has my name on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271 You deserved it 43

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Dan the man · 8 November 2025, 12:00

Kinda impressive

Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to “describe a time I overcame a challenge.” My mind went blank. After 10 seconds of silence, I blurted out, “Once, I tried to cancel my gym membership.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 277 You deserved it 147

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Anonymous · 15 November 2025, 09:00

Lost

Today, at a fancy restaurant, I walked into the restroom. After washing my hands, I looked up and noticed the urinals and the sudden presence of three very confused men. I had walked into the men’s bathroom. I pretended to check my phone like I was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 You deserved it 362

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Anonymous · 1 December 2025, 09:00

WhatsApp news!

Today, I bought a new smart scale that automatically broadcasts your weight to your fitness app. I didn’t realize it also shared updates with my gym group chat. They all got a notification titled, “Progress Report: Attempt #1.” It wasn’t progress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308 You deserved it 170

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Santa · 24 December 2025, 00:00

Merry Mystery Christmas!

Today, I wrapped all my Christmas gifts at midnight. In my exhaustion, I forgot to label them. On Christmas morning, everyone will open presents while I try to remember who was supposed to get socks versus who was supposed to get a coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114 You deserved it 384

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Dog · 2 January 2026, 03:00

Nutrition expert over here

Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218 You deserved it 365

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Emilie B · 20 January 2026, 12:00

Too soon

Today, my mother-in-law in all seriousness told my daughter to not wear shorts and skirts because “men will ogle and rape her.” When I confronted her about it, she told me, “I’m only looking out for her. Is that so wrong?” She’s 9 and she won’t stop asking what “rape” means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540 You deserved it 62

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Lenore · 3 February 2026, 00:00

Setup

Today, I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. My husband said we should “adapt, not panic” and brought lubricant from the garage. It had a skull warning on it. Apparently I married an engineer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362 You deserved it 91

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Anonymous · 5 February 2026, 09:00

Busted

Today, my door broke. My normally reclusive, antisocial cat, who runs and hides at the slightest noise, decided to come out and get friendly with the maintenance man. Now I owe a huge fee and my rent is increasing for having a pet I’m not supposed to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 You deserved it 665

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TheNewDad · 26 February 2026, 00:00

Messy

Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 You deserved it 563

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Anonymous · 7 March 2026, 03:00

Mom definitely doesn't know best

Today, my homophobic ex-wife was awarded full custody of our gay son, who she tried to disown. She has every intention of putting him in "conversion therapy" and there's nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628 You deserved it 115

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Milos Maricic · 16 March 2026, 09:00

We're open

Today, after six months of building my SaaS (Software as a service) every night after work while juggling life with three kids, I finally launched it. Two months later, it’s still getting almost zero traffic. Turns out building the product was the easy part… getting people to actually visit it is the real nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350 You deserved it 127

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Notsostrong · 30 March 2026, 00:00

I know what I'm doing

Today, I’m a gym newbie and worked up the courage to go to the weights section. I loaded what I thought was a reasonable amount onto a bar and tried to lift it… except it didn’t move. At all. I pretended I was “just stretching,” then removed half the weights while hoping no one noticed. Someone definitely noticed and gave me an encouraging thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309 You deserved it 152

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Anonymous · 3 April 2026, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Pure evil

Today, my daughter admitted that she was the one who left all the used condoms in the back of my ex-husband's car, which led to us getting a horrible divorce because I thought he cheated and didn't believe him. I never suspected her for a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249 You deserved it 546

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Anonymous · 8 April 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Kinda expected

Today, I've been getting nothing but hate and backlash for letting my son, who had severe COVID, attend his father's funeral. It was the only chance for him to say goodbye, but nobody cares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 You deserved it 638

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Eek · 15 April 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Epic fury

Today, my husband discovered a big wasp nest on the porch. Rather than spray it, he decided to suck up the wasps with the vacuum. He also did not empty it. I can see the still living wasps buzzing furiously inside the vacuum chamber and I'm scared to touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437 You deserved it 92

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Anonymous · 3 May 2026, 22:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

I'm in Hell

Today, I sit here struggling with such horrendous pain, which I've been dealing with now for the last six months or so, crying and contemplating whether I want to be around or not, as I'm so fed up with the pain. It's affecting me physically and mentally, I just don't know what to do anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 74

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Anonymous · 6 May 2026, 03:00 ·United Kingdom

Next!

Today, I was on a date when a woman across the restaurant started choking on food, so I and a few others rushed to help her. We got her to cough up the food but as I looked back to my date, she was stealing food from the plates of other people who'd left their tables to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483 You deserved it 72

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Anonymous · 17 May 2026, 15:00 ·Windsor, Canada

Mix up

Today, my friend, her husband, their baby and I went to a baseball game. The lady next to us asked if her and his kid was mine and her husband's kids. She's 5 years older than me and a different race. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 You deserved it 72

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