Today, I got off night shift and went home to make a batch of taquitos. I put them in the oven and sat down on the couch, only to pass out. I woke up 8 hours later to my wife getting home from work and freaking out that the house smelled like smoke. I think I overcooked them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my usual parents. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML
Today, I tried to microwave a leftover burrito. I forgot to remove the foil it was wrapped in. The microwave went into overdrive in a dramatic display of sparks, the fire alarm went off, and I had to convince the neighbors at my door not to evacuate their apartments. I still haven’t eaten. FML
Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML
Today, a co-worker called in sick due to a family emergency. I ended up working an unplanned 12-hour overnight shift. After I clocked out, I dragged myself out to the parking lot to go home. Someone had smeared tacos all over my car. FML
Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
That’s a level of tired I just recently hit. I used to struggle sleeping without white noise and an almost completely quiet environment, but with my current job and going deaf, I found out exactly how people can fall asleep in a room for of people talking. It’s scary getting older… I didn’t know there was a level of exhaustion that existed like this until I hit my 40’s
DLBL 23
Ruined taquitos are a sad, sad thing. That's why we always use timers on our little oven and the Nuwave for pots. We are old and tired and it's saved us many times!
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Comments (2)
tiptoppc 21
That’s a level of tired I just recently hit. I used to struggle sleeping without white noise and an almost completely quiet environment, but with my current job and going deaf, I found out exactly how people can fall asleep in a room for of people talking. It’s scary getting older… I didn’t know there was a level of exhaustion that existed like this until I hit my 40’s
DLBL 23
Ruined taquitos are a sad, sad thing. That's why we always use timers on our little oven and the Nuwave for pots. We are old and tired and it's saved us many times!