The Top · The top of the year

Anonymous · 30 July 2026, 09:00 ·Davenport, United States

Unprofessionnal

Today, my pulmonologist dropped me as a patient. She kept insisting that my weight was the problem, so I put in the work and lost 60 pounds. My lungs are even worse now than they were when I was obese. So instead of admitting she was wrong and helping me figure out the real issue, she just won't see me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539 You deserved it 78

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Tooth hurty · 8 August 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Rotten

Today, I went to the dentist, telling him proudly that I had flossed for two straight weeks. The dentist told me that flossing wouldn't undo “Whatever happened back there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 138

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Anonymous · 10 August 2026, 20:00 ·Chicago, United States

A cry for help

Today, is it normal to miss someone who’s hurt you so bad? How do you move on with life after wasting 3 years? How can you move on when everything around you reminds you of that person? When do you know enough is enough? FML

I agree, your life sucks 291 You deserved it 135

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Anonymous · 19 August 2026, 22:00 ·Toronto, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

It's never too late

Today, I wish I'd been a whole hell of a lot sluttier and more adventurous in my 20s. Nowadays my libido has me ready to burst, but my partner not so much. I miss feeling wanted and just letting myself get lost in my own pleasure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 You deserved it 148

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baddog · 22 August 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Naughty boy

Today, my dog started barking during a work video call. I picked him up to prove he was harmless. He immediately sneezed directly into my face, then licked my mouth. My microphone was still on, and everyone heard me yell, “WHY?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 225 You deserved it 189

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Anonymous · 5 September 2026, 03:00 ·Lake Zurich, United States

Fight!

Today, I told my girlfriend about a huge fight I had with my female best friend. This friend no longer wants anything to do with me, and I was obviously upset about it. Instead of being supportive, all my girlfriend said was, "Well maybe now you'll shut the fuck up about her for once." FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 You deserved it 582

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Anonymous · 12 September 2026, 00:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

That's hot

Today, I found out my girlfriend only became my girlfriend because she was bored of having Tinder sex with dozens of guys and decided having a boyfriend she could cheat on with dozens of guys from Tinder would make the sex hotter and kinkier, like a dirty shameful secret to turn her on more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404 You deserved it 90

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Mental minefield · 21 September 2026, 03:00 ·New York, United States

Suspicious mind

Today, after my husband read about mental load and about what he could do to help with mine, I came home to a clean house, the chores done, and dinner on the stove. I was more anxious and stressed than ever, thinking, "What did he fuck up that I'm gonna find and have to fix at the worst possible time?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 533

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lordoftheweird · 30 October 2026, 03:00 ·Canada

That's what a professional hacker would say!

Today, a guy at my community center screamed and swore at me that I was lying about being a "professional hacker" because I didn't have Linux on my laptop. He then demanded that he teach me how to code. He's in his thirties and genuinely doesn't know what a computer lab is, or what uploading is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254 You deserved it 55

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NemoWhite09 · 1 November 2026, 12:00 ·Fort Worth, United States

Normally, huh?

Today, at work, this 23 year-old girl told everyone she has a huge crush on me. I'm in my mid-30s and this girl has autism but she functions normally. The thing is she looks 12 and I don't date or talk to anyone I work with in that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286 You deserved it 45

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Anonymous · 6 November 2026, 00:00 ·Stockholm, Sweden

Three's the magic number

Today, I am in a relationship. I recently got out of a decade-long relationship and was looking forward to dating, looking around, and meeting new people. I managed 3 weeks on the apps before I had to choose one of those I met, or lose them all. I guess it's good to meet 3 great women in a short time, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 You deserved it 244

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Bradley is alone · 9 November 2025, 09:00

Flustered

Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 You deserved it 576

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Ethan · 13 November 2025, 22:00

The great escape

Today, I decided to start jogging again for the first time in months. I made it one block before tripping over the curb. I fell so hard, my phone flew out of my pocket and hit a parked car, setting off its alarm. I ran off when I saw house curtains all around me start to twitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 27 November 2025, 15:00

Make it make sense

Today, I was told it is "fatphobic" to "assume someone's weight is related to their food choices" and that I have a "problematic relationship with food." All because I didn't want to eat a bigger slice of the cake someone brought in at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388 You deserved it 71

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Jezza · 2 December 2025, 03:00

DIY

Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 You deserved it 332

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Anonymous · 11 December 2025, 09:00

Sir, this is a Wendy's

Today, I've been waiting nearly three days for my Amazon delivery order. I knew that Christmas orders were going to swamp Amazon, so I bought two gift cards and a CD that my mom specifically wanted ahead of time. I purchased them on the 4th to be safe. It's now the 10th, I've been charged, but no sign of my order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154 You deserved it 250

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Anonymous · 27 December 2025, 09:00

Move on

Today, I bought a guy I’ve liked for months a Christmas present and expressed how much he meant to me. He said, “Lol, thanks.” He then went on a date with another girl. Apparently, being loving and caring towards guys gets you used and rejected. My lover girl era is now over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168 You deserved it 563

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Anonymous · 21 January 2026, 12:00

Never the twain

Today, I did a stupid thing and told my work crush that I liked her. Now, instead of living unnoticed by her, I have to live with the knowledge she doesn’t like me and only talks to me because I’m a coworker. As a bonus, she did say at least I’m not one of those quiet ones who give off SA vibes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 221

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Anonymous · 23 January 2026, 20:00

New fad dropped

Today, I made the horrible mistake of introducing my girlfriend to Renaissance Faires. Now she’s completely obsessed and insists on getting brand new costumes, wigs, accessories, etc. for each new event. She’s even looking at fairs several states over. What have I done? FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 You deserved it 417

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Anonymous · 28 January 2026, 03:00

Rubbing it in

Today, I was at a party at my ex's house; he'd invited the whole team. We of course don't talk, but I just figured out he had a girlfriend. He said it right in my face and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 364

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Old and tired · 1 February 2026, 20:00

Namaste

Today, finally joined a yoga class to “stay flexible” as a retiree. I followed along until we did a pose involving balance. I fell sideways into a stack of foam blocks and knocked over the instructor like gentle dominoes. Everyone was kind, but now I get assigned the chair automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 You deserved it 84

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Anonymous · 24 February 2026, 20:00

Oral relief

Today, I went to the store with my mask on, as usual. As I walked past a guy, he reached out and tore the mask off my face, revealing my secret: a pacifier I use to control my horrible anxiety and agoraphobia. I froze, then collapsed to the ground screaming, and had a stress-triggered seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502 You deserved it 555

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Sad · 1 March 2026, 09:00

Romance is dead

Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 749 You deserved it 68

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Anonymous · 12 March 2026, 20:00

Keyboard warrior goes clackity clack

Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483 You deserved it 66

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Anonymous · 15 March 2026, 00:00

Lost in music

Today, I was listening to music with headphones in my usually quiet class. At one point I really got into the song so I just quietly sang along because why not. Turns out by the end of the song I was singing at full volume, almost yelling, and my friend stopped me to say that. The entire back row was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 You deserved it 621

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Anonymous · 21 March 2026, 22:00 🌶️ Spicy

What are you up to?

Today, I went through my boyfriend’s chat with his best friend and saw porn videos. We've been together for four years and I have never seen him send me any porn videos like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241 You deserved it 271

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Anonymous · 24 March 2026, 03:00

My client…

Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453 You deserved it 192

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Friendless · 4 April 2026, 20:00

What did I do now?

Today, I connected two of my long time best friends. Upon chatting with each other, they discovered how toxic I was as a friend to both of them. They agreed that those traits don't exist anymore, but they are too hurt to continue their friendship with me. Fire away the YDI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 You deserved it 510

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Anonymous · 21 April 2026, 00:00 ·Portland, United States

Leave it to the specialists

Today, I tried to fix a leaky pipe after watching a tutorial. I turned what I thought was the main valve to cut the water, loosened the pipe, and immediately got sprayed in the face. In my panic, I tightened it wrong and made it worse. I had to call a plumber while standing in a puddle, holding a towel against the pipe like that was helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 You deserved it 330

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Anonymous · 16 May 2026, 03:00 ·United Kingdom

Classic manipulation

Today, my husband admitted he sometimes gets me ragingly jealous of other women on purpose because when I’m jealous I put in more effort in the bedroom and it’s easier to get me to do anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297 You deserved it 496

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