The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 25 April 2025, 22:00 ·New Orleans, United States

Weird vibes

Today, I went to a party at a friend's place. I walked in and noticed everyone sitting quietly in a circle. I sat down, waited for the conversation to pick up, which is when I realized it was a "silent party", as in everyone had headphones on and was listening to music. I awkwardly left after 10 minutes of pretending I was having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387 You deserved it 121

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Chad · 27 April 2025, 15:00 ·Macon, United States

Smooth

Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 127 You deserved it 616

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Tricked · 1 November 2023, 09:00

Trick it is, then

Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368 You deserved it 99

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Katieeee · 4 November 2023, 22:00 ·Austin, United States

Get it off me!

Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340 You deserved it 137

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Anonymous · 8 November 2023, 22:00 🌶️ Spicy

Really into it

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404 You deserved it 272

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Kareen · 4 May 2025, 15:00 ·Austin, United States

Black Mirror type shit

Today, out of desperation, I tried a new AI therapist app. Mid-session, it paused and asked, “Before we continue, would you like to upgrade to Premium for $9.99?” My mental breakdown was not included in the free trial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482 You deserved it 219

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Fred · 8 November 2023, 16:00

Typical bad day

Today, I woke up to find my cat had knocked over a glass of water, which short-circuited my alarm clock, so I overslept, missed a crucial meeting, and found out I'd been promoted... to a position which no longer exists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544 You deserved it 159

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Anonymous · 10 November 2023, 06:00

Congratulations!

Today, I found out my daughter got married and didn’t even bother to tell anyone. She just turned up at a family get together with some random dude and introduced him as the guy she married two weeks ago while drunk. They’re now dating to see if the marriage will work out long term. I can’t even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606 You deserved it 169

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Anonymous · 10 May 2025, 03:00 ·Stockholm, Sweden 🌶️ Spicy

Who are you?

Today, a kid walked in on me and my new FWB having sex at her place. I knew she had children, so I asked if it was hers. No, it was her son's. I'm boning a grandma who's not even 50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 You deserved it 480

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Anywhozit · 20 May 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Go away now

Today, after I tried to give a friend I had for ten years a second chance, after we had a bad falling out because it was "too much for her" that I had a life changing accident and was not upbeat about it, needless to say she has been obnoxious these past 6 months and I should not have let her selfish butt back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 187

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Anonymous · 3 June 2021, 00:01 ·Australia

Baby you can't drive my car

Today, I received a notice of a suspended driver's license on account of my epilepsy. I have to submit my license by the suspension date, or I could be fined. The suspension date was 8 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000 You deserved it 111

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Anonymous · 31 May 2025, 22:00 ·Augusta, United States

Amazing idea, idiot

Today, my idiot redneck next door neighbor decided to throw an empty whipped cream spray can into a fire to watch it explode and scare half the neighborhood. That idiot redneck next door neighbor is also my 65 year-old dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456 You deserved it 94

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Jay · 9 June 2021, 17:01 ·Amsterdam, Netherlands

Data engineer struggles

Today, I told my supervisor that I want to do the work I was hired to do, which is Data Engineer. He told me he doesn't have the workload for another data engineer, and needs someone with people skills. He's very happy with the current situation. I left my previous job because of the same problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032 You deserved it 104

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Atmaj · 6 December 2023, 22:00 ·Pune, India

The golden rule of WhatsApp

Today, we got a notification about a test in my official college group. I decided to bitch about it with my friends in our group… Unfortunately, I didn't realise I'd actually said all of it in the official college group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 You deserved it 832

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IDontWantToBeHere · 9 June 2021, 22:01

Pants on fire

Today, my ex told me he wants honesty in a relationship. I agree. It's a shame he felt it was OK to tell lies from the very beginning of the relationship that lasted about 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919 You deserved it 121

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Anonymous · 11 June 2025, 09:00 ·Surrey, Canada

Messy

Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392 You deserved it 122

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Anonymous · 19 June 2025, 12:00 ·Australia

Non-confrontational

Today, I received a text breakup from my boyfriend while we were sitting right next to each other on the couch. He said, “This isn’t working,” and I had to ask, “Is this a joke? You’re literally here.” His phone was on silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425 You deserved it 101

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Anonymous · 18 December 2023, 22:00 ·United States

Brain worm

Today, I brought my nephew to hockey practice knowing he needed help tying his skates. Multiple times I tied the wrong knot and my mind blanked. I had to ask someone else to tie his skates for him. I’m 32. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 260

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LaterAlligator · 26 August 2022, 22:00 ·Ottawa, Canada

Whackjob

Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075 You deserved it 111

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mybodyhatesme · 24 June 2025, 00:00 ·Clive, United States

Choices

Today, I started chemo. My immune system is so bad, it keeps attacking organs throughout my body. I just got a job I love that pays well and has insurance for once, but I’m not sure I can keep working to pay for it, due to chemo side-effects and risky conditions of the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539 You deserved it 79

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Anonymous · 24 December 2023, 09:00 ·Surrey, Canada

The war on Christmas is real!

Today, I finally put my Christmas lights up. In the process, a branch from the bush in my yard smacked me in the face, giving me a very noticeable scar on my nose. I have a photo session tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370 You deserved it 141

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Anonymous · 26 June 2025, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Messed up

Today, my therapist told me she can’t see me by herself anymore because frankly I have so many problems, I need separate therapists, each with their own specialties, to work together on me as a team. I didn’t think it was that bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443 You deserved it 116

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Anonymous · 2 January 2024, 22:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

The policy of truth

Today, I'm ending a 35 year marriage. In the last few months, my husband has told me that he has been preferring porn to me since before we were married, he has had multiple affairs, he always knew his family was toxic and messing with me. Oh, and he wants us to, "Move on and have a happy retirement together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 557 You deserved it 160

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Anonymous · 19 July 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Is this Love Island?

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with flowers and dinner reservations for our one-year anniversary. She looked confused and said, “Wait, we’re counting from the first time we hung out?” It turns out she thought we were still “just talking.” She also has a boyfriend. It’s not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433 You deserved it 355

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Anonymous · 24 July 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Don't look

Today, I realized that my sense of attraction is so incredibly messed up and geeky that I found the "Rib Woman" monster in the World Of Horror game that I play fascinating. Do not look up what she looks like, you will be unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 You deserved it 325

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Anonymous · 19 July 2021, 19:59 ·Korea Republic of

Boundaries

Today, I found out that both my boyfriend and his brother feel completely comfortable going into the bathroom and talking to their mother while she is on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114 You deserved it 153

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Anonymous · 16 August 2025, 20:00 ·Cape Town, South Africa 🌶️ Spicy

Shifty

Today, after six months of online flirting, we finally met. Three coffee dates turned into getting some in the back seat. Long story short, the coffee shop owner showed his boyfriend the videos of us hooking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 You deserved it 429

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Anonymous · 17 October 2022, 04:00 ·University Center, United States

Picky thieves

Today, someone stole the catalytic converter off my SUV, as well as multiple tires stacked next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816 You deserved it 115

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Dough · 20 August 2025, 00:00 ·Warsaw, Poland

Freak out

Today, I decided to bake chocolate wafers. I rolled the dark brown dough into a log, when my senile grandmother walked in. She saw it and started screaming that I was playing with shit, then threw a bottle at me. I had to throw the dough away because it was full of broken glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495 You deserved it 87

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Anonymous · 21 October 2022, 04:00 ·Thunder Bay, Canada

Morning surprise

Today, I woke up and got ready for class. I let the dogs outside while I got ready, then brought them back in. As I was putting my shoes on, I felt something warm and mushy. One of my dogs had pooped in my shoe right as I was leaving. I missed the city bus and was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946 You deserved it 197

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