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Emergency!

By Not again!!! - 07/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I had a major digestive emergency while at work. I rushed to the bathroom, just to realize there were no toilet paper rolls left. In a moment of desperation, I used the last few pages of my notebook to make do. Now I’m terrified of what’s going to happen if my boss ever asks for the reports I wrote in that notebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 105

Mystery unwanted gift

By Anonymous - 03/05/2021 23:59 - Australia - Bendigo

Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 192

Not quite there yet

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 05:59

Today, I was denied entry into Hong Kong after flying here from Canada and paying thousands of uncancellable dollars for quarantine hotel and other plans, because the immigration company fucked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 178

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 24/04/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my insane mother doesn’t want me getting a job to afford to move out and never see her again, she put my suit in the freezer last night so I couldn’t go to my 9 a.m. interview. I went in a t-shirt instead and they rejected me straight away for not "taking the interview seriously." FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 80

Friends reunited

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 22:00

Today, I saw my middle school best friend and former girlfriend for the first time in two years. They were making out in our new high school’s library. Two years ago, he said she was a skank, and she said he was a creep, before never speaking to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 78

Nothing's Going Right

By FML Approved - 04/10/2017 03:00 - United States - New York

It's hard to turn things around sometimes.

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 113

Injury to injury

By Anonymous - 01/11/2023 18:00

Today, I got home from work and face-planted into my sofa because I hate my job, suffer from depression, recently lost my wife to cancer, and a host of other BS. As I face-planted it turned out that my sister invited herself over and had fell asleep, curled up under a blanket. Our heads collided at 30 mph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 97

Making the scene

By billie - 29/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had my first day in an acting class. Our assignment was to perform a dramatic monologue. I got super into it, threw myself into character, and dramatically fell to my knees to deliver a line. Unfortunately, my knees slipped, and I faceplanted into the floor in front of the entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 169

Weird assumption

By Thanks Mom - 20/05/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I asked my helicopter parent mother if I could go over to a friend's house. She said no because her parents weren't there, and if she accused me of assaulting her, I'd have no defense. We're both 16, I'm gay and she's a lesbian. My mom is well aware of these facts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 163

Dribble drizzle

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 172

Who are you? Who am I?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 663

NOT NOW!

By LamingtonSalad - 02/08/2022 18:00

Today, after I went in for surgery, I came out of extremely anemic from blood loss. As soon as I got home, I started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 122

Pest control

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I realized I’m living with a complete moron. I moved in thinking it was gonna be smooth but nope. Dude thought it was okay to put mothballs INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE to help with roaches. Who the fuck does that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 447

Weirdo alert!

By CuteFeeties - 08/08/2022 00:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend took me on a drive while he did some errands. I waited for him in the car with my bare feet on his dashboard, like I usually do. As I waited, I noticed a woman blatantly taking pictures of my feet from across the lot, and she winked at me. I cowered in my seat until he came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 353

Nice try, Patricia

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 02:00

Today, I had to deal with a lady who claimed her son was autistic to try and skip the queue. Even her son was saying he’s not autistic, and she was screaming in his face that yes he was. I happen to be genuinely autistic. Security threw her out, and I was jealous that I didn’t get to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 145

Mr Rogers

By Anonymous - 29/11/2023 05:00

Today, I met my upstairs neighbours in person. They had been having vigorous sex and all of a sudden I heard a loud, “OH SHIT” and they both fell through the ceiling and ended up on top of me on my sofa, covered in plaster and dust, and stark naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 162

Shots fired

By Its a gas - 13/06/2025 00:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 500

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 16/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my long-term relationship of over a decade ended very badly. We didn't speak nor look at each other while I was dropping his stuff off. Of course, my car battery died, and I had to ask him for help and had to see his parents. His dad couldn't get the hood open for about ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 129

Push it!

By Stace - 21/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was lifting weights at the gym and felt proud of myself for pushing through a tough set. Then, I looked down and noticed my shorts had ripped right along the seam. Based on their disgusted faces, everyone behind me got an unwelcome show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 118

Diagnosis results

By robbed of youth - 02/01/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I realized that a kid in my class is actually autistic and didn't have ADHD. The teachers went out of their way to lie that he has ADHD and not autism. No wonder people thought I was a "retard" (their words, not mine) when it came out that I had ADHD and started using classroom accommodations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 153

Defeated

By K.O - 09/09/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, a fly landed on my ear. The suddenly loud buzzing noise scared me so badly that out of instinct, I punched the side of my head so hard that I actually made myself really dizzy. The worst part? I didn't kill the fly. Jackass fly: 1, Dumbass me: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 562

I didn't ask for this

By SoWhat - 06/01/2024 00:00 - Switzerland

Today, an annoying ex-coworker I have ignored for 15 years sent me an e-mail to "inform me of her new address." The e-mail actually enclosed a video of her touring the new house and garden like a realtor. I skipped to the end where she humblebrags about how "grateful" she is "to be blessed with this property." FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 129

Poor little thing

By Yikes - 10/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 73

Fragile

By John Doe - 04/03/2024 12:00 - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, I was standing in a bus, hanging on to a pole. At a roundabout, I turned with the bus… and blocked my spine. I'm 22 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 113

Littered

By Anonymous - 19/04/2020 14:00

Today, I'm on crutches and wearing an orthopedic boot because a 22.5 pound box of cat litter fell out of my back hatch onto my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 276

He's got game

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I caught my son sneaking a woman out of his room at 5 a.m. After she was gone, I started with the questions, one of which was, “Well, what’s her name?” His response was, “No idea, I only met her last week.” I’ve raised one of “those guys.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 224

Drama farmers

By Anonymous - 12/03/2024 12:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my dad lectured me because my mom cried herself to sleep last night. Why? Because I didn't want to watch a movie with her. I had to go to sleep to be up for work at 6 a.m., and was too tired to watch a movie in the first place. I live with drama queens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 113

Take your time

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 297

No kinkshaming!

By I'm a freak - 17/09/2025 20:00

Today, I watched Alien for the first time with my husband. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I got so wet during the facehugger scene, I had to fake a panic attack and ask him to turn the movie off because I was scared he'd notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 315

How bad do I look?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2025 00:00

Today, a teenage Costco cashier whispered to me, “Things WILL get better.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 85

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The Top

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 924

You deserved it 6 275

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 071

You deserved it 10 095

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 946

You deserved it 2 374

Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 149

Today, my bank sent me a message, saying that they'd disabled my account. To reactivate it, I need the account number, and I can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 262

Today, I was about to climb on top of my husband for some fun time, when I stuck my hand in a giant pile of cat poop on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 289