Health, Gross and Injury: Scratch that

Scratch that

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 07:59 - Germany

Today, I got a painful scratch on my nose. Nasty kitty? Nope. I never imagined a dried booger stuck in my handkerchief could be this hard and this sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 308

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Cat mojo

By Oww - 09/08/2022 00:00

Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 155

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 717

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 2 274

By Anonymous - 12/05/2012 22:09 - Netherlands - Vianen

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 501

You deserved it 24 710

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 507

You deserved it 28 626

By JackNicholsonInChinatown - 25/10/2016 02:58

Today, like most days, my cat tried to wake me up with a gentle, fluffy paw pat on my nose. This morning, however, he managed to get his claw caught inside my nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 548

You deserved it 887

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 017

You deserved it 17 417

Snug as a bug…

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 02:01

Today, my nose had been feeling weirdly uncomfortable all day. After I got home, I blew my nose really hard. I found that a bug had been resting inside my nose the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 166

What's more embarrassing?

By Anonymous - 03/02/2021 18:30 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I pulled out an annoying nose hair with a tweezer and it made me cry. Not particularly painful but it triggered the tear duct. Had to pretend it was from yawning when someone asked why the teary eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 227

Disgusting

By SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 114

Nikki 17

Sunday 9 January 2022 8:48

Might be a hint it’s time to stop using your nasty handkerchief

Comments

Nikki 17

Sunday 9 January 2022 8:48

Might be a hint it’s time to stop using your nasty handkerchief

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 631

You deserved it 2 906

Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 126

The Top

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 932

You deserved it 4 017

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 618

You deserved it 3 943

Today, I had a panic attack while giving a presentation on how to breathe to avoid having panic attacks. FML

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You deserved it 190

Today, I'm a graduate but still an unpaid intern. My daily work is folding letters and putting them into envelopes. The sad thing is, I actually enjoy doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 027

You deserved it 7 820

Today, I had a feminine emergency. After scrounging up 4 quarters to use the machine in the women's bathroom, it dispensed a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 348

You deserved it 756

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 722

You deserved it 7 990