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Caked out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML

agreeclassic 317

vote type 1 748

A disappointing evening

By Jaxx - 15/03/2023 07:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I went to various attractions in Singapore throughout the day. Then, I visited Singapore Night Safari, a zoo with a theme at night. Besides dozing off throughout the train excursion, my night blindness ultimately prevented me from seeing more than 40% of the creatures. The ticket cost me USD$40. FML

agreeclassic 239

vote type 1 775

No fun

By Ed. - 04/08/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom - Stoke Newington

Today, I got back the results of an allergy test I decided to get because I felt generally tired after meals. Turns out that I'm allergic to, among other things, meat (yep, is a thing), nuts (of course), milk, egg, rice, carrot, apple, yeast (as in bread), and even soy. Seems I'm allergic to… food. FML

agreeclassic 541

vote type 1 101

Fake News

By Anonymous - 06/10/2020 23:01

Today, I’m not sure what to call it, but I think I just got COVID-SWATted when a bunch of police turned up to my house after someone told them I was partying with over 50 people, breaking social distancing. In a one-bed flat, with barely enough room for 3 people to sit down at the same time. FML

agreeclassic 1 388

vote type 1 107

Boring

By Talentles.Bitch - 17/03/2023 06:00

Today, yet again I was made to feel how talentless and boring of a person I am. I have great academic achievements, making me one among the top 0.02% youth of my country, but am so uninteresting and introverted that people don't want to be friends with me. FML

agreeclassic 754

vote type 1 251

Smooth moves

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 10:00 - Canada

Today, I was trying out for a local basketball team, so I put extra effort into showing off my baller skills. Unfortunately, I managed to hit myself in the face with the ball, knocking out one of my own teeth. FML

agreeclassic 473

vote type 1 540

It's a deal

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my husband bought his fifth car in two years. He doesn't wreck them, but he keeps buying old junk cars "for a bargain" that are one bad day away from being scrapped. The last one lasted two months before the frame broke in half from rust. FML

agreeclassic 450

vote type 1 82

Perfect timing

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, at 36 years-old, I will be leaving to go on my first ever vacation. Aunt Flo held off until yesterday so she could come with me, and she's BAD this month. We were planning on going to the beach. FML

agreeclassic 435

vote type 1 123

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

agreeclassic 21 997

vote type 1 108 984

Hair code

By MoreThanABadHairDay - 25/03/2023 04:00

Today, my little sister used scissors she got from school to cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Now it looks like someone went at my hair with a chainsaw, and my school's dress code doesn't allow me to wear a hat or anything else to cover it up. FML

agreeclassic 1 132

vote type 1 102

Is everything OK?

By Spooky - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I found myself daydreaming about being a skeleton. Why? Because skeletons don't have skin, so they don't develop giant pimples in inconvenient places that make you unable to move without discomfort. In this case, on the back of my neck. FML

agreeclassic 632

vote type 1 107

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 03:00 - United States - Leawood

Today, I finally shared some of my insecurities and difficulties I’m experiencing with a close friend. The response was great, they listened, and gave advice. Later I met another friend, who said that they’re here for me. Everyone was just trying to help, but now almost everyone I know knows. I feel worse than before. FML

agreeclassic 655

vote type 1 199

Meddling

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 19:00 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was sitting in math class taking notes on my laptop when my mom texted me, asking why I wasn’t in class. She has my location for security purposes. I’m 19 and in college. FML

agreeclassic 789

vote type 1 142

It's still out there

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 22:00 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I got tons of sympathy (and hugs) from my co-workers after intense sneezing and coughing due to my "seasonal allergies." When I got home, my SO asked if allergies are contagious, because he had them too. He didn't have allergies. We have Covid. And so do most of my co-workers now. I suck! FML

agreeclassic 363

vote type 1 1 081

MMA Struggles

By FML Videos - 26/11/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

Ah!

agreeclassic 274

vote type 1 91

Not prepared enough

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 05:01

Today, I had a maths test and I realised that I'd studied the wrong topics. The teacher said the test would be difficult and I stayed up till 1 a.m. just to be prepared. FML

agreeclassic 755

vote type 1 536

Karma

By Sorry mum - 30/08/2024 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of a conversation with my best friend, where we were making fun of my mum’s new haircut, to my mum. She responded with, “Well, at least my haircut can change. What are you going to do about your face?” FML

agreeclassic 52

vote type 1 853

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

agreeclassic 851

vote type 1 195

Sounds lovely

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, at our kid's extracurricular, my ex, with whom I have been fighting for our child for ten years, casually admitted that his preferred murder weapon is an axe. This is surprisingly in character. FML

agreeclassic 774

vote type 1 165

Neglected

By Busy mom - 06/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML

agreeclassic 180

vote type 1 439

Good things come in threes

By Stuart Williams - 24/02/2022 12:00

Today, after I fell over and fractured my knee, I've been in hospital for a week. I now have a metal plate in my knee, and am due to be off work for months, I wouldn't mind as much if I hadn't been hit by a car two years ago, spent a week in hospital for a fractured vertebrae, and was off work for months. FML

agreeclassic 832

vote type 1 94

There's no I in team, apparently

By Jessica - 13/09/2024 10:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, a positively glowing online review was left by a client about me recently - listing my first and last name mind you - and my boss wrote back, thanking them for the kind words, then carried on about how awesome my coworker is. FML

agreeclassic 412

vote type 1 53

You're just saying that…

By Akwa - 18/11/2020 14:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother and I got complimented on how we look alike. She's a German blonde and I was adopted from Vietnam. FML

agreeclassic 951

vote type 1 122

Exploitation

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 03:00

Today, if I'd known a few days ago when I agreed to help a friend film that it was going to be located so far away and cost so much to get there, I would have said no straight away. I won't even be reimbursed for my efforts. FML

agreeclassic 517

vote type 1 225

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

agreeclassic 1 044

vote type 1 94

Goddam red tape

By unqualified - 04/05/2023 00:00

Today, I found out that the degree I'd assumed I had for the last 10 years was invalid due to a clerical error. Surely it'd be an easy fix? Nope. Both the degree structure and the admin system have been entirely changed between now and then. I'd have to study for two more years to validate it. FML

agreeclassic 1 111

vote type 1 112

Priorities

By He's being pretty goofy - 08/05/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, my overthinking and ADHD combo got so ridiculous that I found myself worrying about how my cat was going to be after he returned from the vet. Not if he was going to be okay or not, how he was going to behave. FML

agreeclassic 319

vote type 1 470

My life is average

By Kohsukeff - 07/12/2020 08:02 - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, as a single, 24-year old college graduate working temp jobs outside his field, the only thing I look forward to in my day is what I get to eat for dinner. FML

agreeclassic 871

vote type 1 132

Work together!

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 05:01 - Germany - Norden

Today, our cats got in a serious fight about the rights to some prime mousing territory. The territory in question? Our kitchen. FML

agreeclassic 676

vote type 1 133

Helicopter parents

By I apologize on behalf of my mother - 14/05/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I was getting food at a buffet. Suddenly, my mom appeared and started screaming at a guy for pushing me. I wasn't pushed by anyone, I just tripped over nothing. The poor guy looked so confused and embarrassed, and my mom wouldn't let me defend him. FML

agreeclassic 798

vote type 1 103

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I cook, clean, do laundry, wash the dishes, clean the bathroom, do grocery shopping, take the mental load for everything, take care of the kids, keep them engaged without screens, have a full-time job, do well at my job, and earn well - which I give to my husband fully. Only for him to ask me, "What do you even do here?" FML

agreeclassic 664

vote type 1 157

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

agreeclassic 54 467

vote type 1 3 644

Today, I got my first Facebook friend request in 4 months. I also got a message in my inbox. The message said: "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Just ignore my friend request." FML

agreeclassic 50 187

vote type 1 7 498

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate's alarm clock going off at 6:00 in the morning. His bedroom door was locked, and he was passed out in his bed from drinking too much. It rang continuously for five and a half hours before it finally ran out of batteries. FML

agreeclassic 33 064

vote type 1 3 224

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

agreeclassic 32 025

vote type 1 3 034

Today, my neighbors put up their Christmas lights. They blink red and green on and off. Ever since they put them up, my dog hasn't stopped barking. It's 2:00AM. FML

agreeclassic 613

vote type 1 54