The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Ellis · 6 September 2025, 20:00 ·Ephrata, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Why would you even have that?

Today, I was on FB Messenger talking to one of my friends who is a pastor about getting together playing golf and I meant to send him an emoji in our conversation, but accidentally sent an emoji sticker of my wife and me doing doggystyle. I quickly deleted it on my side, but it was still visible on his side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 You deserved it 547

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Anonymous · 5 March 2024, 14:00 ·United Kingdom

Red flag!

Today, I found out the guy I've been in an exclusive, serious relationship with for the last twelve months has been using online dating apps for the past three months, but it's "only chatting" and he doesn't consider it cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576 You deserved it 121

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Anonymous · 17 September 2025, 00:00

You played yourself

Today, my idiot daughter is sat next to me crying because she took her ex to court for child support, convinced she was gonna get paid, even though her kids live with their dad full time. Now she's paying HIM child support and can’t afford her flat anymore, so she wants to move in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488 You deserved it 140

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StinkBomber · 11 August 2021, 08:01 ·San Jose, United States

Gas giant

Today, while dropping my daughter off at soccer practice I was talking about my gym routine. Her friend said, "Your dad's going to be the new god of thunder." My daughter was like, "He already is, but for different reasons." Everyone got the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843 You deserved it 223

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Anonymous · 17 March 2024, 16:00 ·United Kingdom

I'm not loving it

Today, I found out why my husband insists on only taking our kids to the McDonald’s a 15-minute drive away instead of the one two minutes down the street. It’s where his ex works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551 You deserved it 118

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Anonymous · 24 September 2025, 00:00

Giant

Today, I saw a guy struggling to reach something on the top shelf at the grocery store. Wanting to be helpful, I said, “Need a tall person’s help?” He laughed, stepped aside, then his girlfriend, who was taller than both of us, grabbed the item with zero effort. She gave me the dirtiest look, as if I’d personally insulted his manhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197 You deserved it 359

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Krish Kochar · 8 November 2022, 16:00 ·Canada

The clichés are real

Today, I've been living in Canada for past two years, and my friend from the States came to visit. He was talking about how Canadians are so polite, but I was in total denial, that he didn't know anything. While I was arguing with him, a guy in front of us walked into a pole, then apologized to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304 You deserved it 894

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Anonymous · 24 November 2022, 02:00 ·Sewanee, United States

Bad friends

Today, I just found out that my first-ever boyfriend has been cheating on me for our whole entire relationship. All my fake friends knew about the her, but they just "forgot to tell me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 936 You deserved it 104

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wavenixv · 27 August 2021, 10:01

Get back to work

Today, I got an email from our district manager, telling me I cannot use my vacation days as sick time. I've run out of sick days and I have a severe injury that I've taken medical leave for. When it flares up, it feels like I’m being stabbed. He knows this, but doesn’t acknowledge it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992 You deserved it 73

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Will T · 1 September 2021, 01:01

Old memories

Today, I pulled a groin muscle. While cleaning the cat litter box. The last time this happened, I was playing high school football. 40 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 14 April 2024, 16:00 ·Warren, United States

Fees, fees everwhere!

Today, I found out my dentist is retiring. This wouldn't be that big of a deal except that if we want to transfer our dental records to a new dentist we have to do it before he retires and there's a $30 processing fee per person. Three of us use that dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 99

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Selective Seatbelt Struggle · 1 December 2022, 10:00

Thanks Officer

Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML

I agree, your life sucks 266 You deserved it 952

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ThunderTh0t · 17 September 2021, 05:00 ·Australia

Great name

Today, I forgot that I gave my Bluetooth speaker a ridiculous device name as a joke when I'd first got it. It's all fun and games until you're around your family and they see the device name "ScoobyDooCumMilk" and are trying to figure out whose device it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275 You deserved it 1 199

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Anonymous · 20 September 2021, 02:00 ·United Kingdom

Pay up

Today, I tripped and hit my head on a rock, perforating my eardrum. That rock also broke. It was a €3000 headstone I now have to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956 You deserved it 146

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kinwar · 27 September 2021, 14:01 ·Hamburg, United States

Go big or go home

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931 You deserved it 133

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Worriedashell · 13 December 2022, 12:00

Bad omen

Today, my husband said he was going to get errands. According to his job’s Instagram page which I follow, he was actually at his work Christmas formal. He never invited me. That’s not all. I also found his wedding band in the bathroom sink. Very close to the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458 You deserved it 150

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Ethan · 13 November 2025, 22:00

The great escape

Today, I decided to start jogging again for the first time in months. I made it one block before tripping over the curb. I fell so hard, my phone flew out of my pocket and hit a parked car, setting off its alarm. I ran off when I saw house curtains all around me start to twitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 5 May 2024, 00:00 ·Australia

Say it, don't spray it

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424 You deserved it 123

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Piitaaraq Vaisanen · 24 September 2021, 05:00

More cowbell

Today, I was editing sound on a recording of a live music show. The woman who hired me said she wanted less reverb. I told her that this is how the recording was and I can't magically remove acoustic reverb from something recorded in a church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 28 December 2022, 03:00 🌶️ Spicy

Poor performance

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141 You deserved it 336

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Anonymous · 22 November 2025, 15:00

Small talk is hell

Today, I got stuck making small talk with a neighbor I barely know. In a panic, I said “Have a good night!” even though it was 10 a.m. She corrected me with, “Morning,” and my brain responded, “Happy… time?” I swear she slowly backed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 183

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Anonymous · 27 November 2025, 15:00

Make it make sense

Today, I was told it is "fatphobic" to "assume someone's weight is related to their food choices" and that I have a "problematic relationship with food." All because I didn't want to eat a bigger slice of the cake someone brought in at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388 You deserved it 71

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c…… · 12 October 2021, 08:00

The planets made me do it

Today, my sister wrecked my car, then blamed it on, "Mercury being in retrograde." FML

I agree, your life sucks 975 You deserved it 75

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Anonymous · 18 May 2024, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Soundproofing

Today, after days of hearing our new neighbour abusing his wife, my wife went round to confront him while on the phone with the police. Turns out they are just really into their BDSM and had no idea how loud they were being. They have costumes, toys and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565 You deserved it 201

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Jezza · 2 December 2025, 03:00

DIY

Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 You deserved it 330

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Anonymous · 20 October 2021, 14:00 ·Eau Claire, United States

Branded

Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone, asking him pick me up for a cookout while his kids were yelling in the background, asking where my friend, their dad, was going. He jokingly answered them, "To pick up my ugly friend." They quickly replied with my name, out of the dozens of friends he hangs out more with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005 You deserved it 139

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Anonymous · 24 May 2024, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Steve Carell from Aldi

Today, I realised that when my husband is telling our boys off, he can’t think of what to say so he just steals lines from TV shows. This afternoon he told them, “Have you lost your minds? Because I’ll help you find them!” and, “I’ll be on your tails like a hot wind!” Both phrases are from The Office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325 You deserved it 169

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Anonymous · 21 October 2021, 02:00

That autumn smell

Today, my cat vomited down my heater vent. It went very far down. I'm not even sure if I got all of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883 You deserved it 142

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RIP · 18 January 2023, 06:00 ·United States

I'm going through a tunnel

Today, I've discovered that it's hard to convince your friend that your Internet won't stop randomly shutting off when he's trying to have a serious conversation with you. I'm actually not lying, but he thinks I'm trying to ignore him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722 You deserved it 152

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Anonymous · 23 December 2025, 20:00

Stiff competition

Today, my husband has erectile dysfunction and is too scared to see a local doctor to get prescription helpers. He wants me to fly to another country and buy them over the counter for him instead! And I'm travelling next week. Not sure which is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355 You deserved it 98

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