The Top

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Empathy is a hell of a drug

By UmOk - 01/05/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, I ran into my former therapist. Still confused by her last email, I asked what she needed to "protect herself" from. She said she needed to protect herself from feeling sad and worrying that I'd get beaten up. I'm afraid I now understand why this country is so messed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 137

Howdy!

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 12:00

Today, after a full year of work getting my house decorated, it was finally finished. I stepped back from the last painted wall to admire it and my neighbour on the other side of the wall, who was doing some decorating of his own, drilled too far and punched his drill bit right through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 137

Stuck in the middle

By Anonymous - 26/11/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I have COVID. My almost ex-wife is taking our kid to Thanksgiving with her family, but asked if he could stay longer with me (while I'm in quarantine), I said OK, no energy to argue, but she pushed and when I said, "If he's negative and has no symptoms it seems unnecessary" she screamed, "I DON'T WANT TO KILL MY PARENTS!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 428

Needs and desires

By Yeah, no. - 28/11/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I found out my husband is a cuck. After explaining that I'm not exactly satisfied in the bedroom, we were thinking of ideas to spice things up. I suggested buying a few toys he could use on me. He immediately got mad, because he wanted me to find other men to screw instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 172

FML's Showdown #5

By Louis - 19/04/2017 21:30 - France - Saint-jean-de-braye

This week's contest is a mixture of how-to, magic tricks and singing (if you can call it that). Check it out.

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 220

Boundaries and jealous

By Gina Marie Lombardi - 15/04/2022 06:00

Today, I got a text from my friend of 8 years, who I talked to everyday, saying he isn’t allowed to talk to me anymore because the junkie girl he is dating doesn’t want him to talk to other girls. I’m happily married, but she doesn’t like any of his friends who are girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 135

The smell detective is on the case

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 195

The literal smell test

By Yudith - 02/12/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, my boss held his polo shirt one inch from my nose and asked me to smell it. He said that he was going into one of our tenants' apartment and wanted to smell him before and after so I could judge said apartment's cleanliness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 82

Chance encounter of the morning

By Gale - 06/12/2024 15:00 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 251

Republicans scrap child marriage bans

By what year is this?! - 27/03/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I found out my 17 year-old cousin is getting married. My hyper religious family swears my concerns are just “masking” my jealousy. Yeah sorry for thinking such a young person, who is still a child, should have her own life before making such a huge decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 182

Bad grandparenting

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 372

Trash

By Gina - 24/07/2023 15:00

Today, I have MS, and while I was in a grocery store a couple followed me through the store, making fun of my disability and the way I walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 105

Stay strong, sister

By Hurting TransGirl - 25/12/2024 02:00 - United States - Franklin

Today, I sit isolated from my family with presents I cannot give. Though I respect my brother's religious beliefs and life ideals, he chooses to hate mine. He has gone out of his way to refuse patching up our relationship and now my parents who are at his house are not answering their phone. "Merry X-mas…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 203

That one move that impresses all the guys

By Claire - 31/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I spotted a guy I like slyly checking me out, so I did what I thought would be a dramatic but nonchalant hair flip. Instead, my hair got caught in the strap of my bag, and I ended up yanking myself backwards like a clumsy stuntman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 483

By alycion - 17/06/2019 19:07

Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 138

Sensible

By strawberrywine22 - 03/08/2023 20:00

Today, I realized I have feelings for a really good friend of mine. Now I have to keep my distance because he’s married, and I refuse to be a homewrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 180

Pick me !

By Anonymous - 13/01/2025 13:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, I went on a date with a guy I’ve been wanting forever. Trying to impress him, I told him I like talking about sports and smart topics instead of talking about makeup and boys like other girls. He stared at me in confusion and asked, “What’s so bad about being like other girls?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 895

Customers from hell

By GirlWhyyyy - 09/08/2023 14:00

Today, I reduced a customer to tears and she had a tantrum, saying that nobody loves her, her life is a joke, and she’d be better off dead. This ordeal happened to grab the attention of my manager who was nearby. All I did was tell her that an item she wanted was sold out and offered to help her order it online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 106

You OK, dude?

By Newny_Newny_Newny - 18/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I got home from work after working 16 hours straight. I was naked on the toilet, just about to get in the shower, scrolling through my phone when I nodded off and FaceTimed someone by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 347

See you in court

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend had always told me that his mom was dead. Apparently he just meant she’s dead to him. She’s actually a con artist. I just met her for the first time, after learning she impersonated me, stole my savings, ran up credit card debt, and bought 3 cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 83

The betrayal

By jojolovesyou134 - 16/08/2023 18:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my best friend of 18 years decided to end our friendship in order to continue sleeping with her brother-in-law, who is also my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 115

Domino effect

By anon - 24/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I laughed at a coworker for breaking a chair during a meeting. Ten minutes later, I sat in another chair, and it snapped under me. My coworker just whispered, "Karma, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 810

I get around

By Anonymous - 27/04/2022 22:00 - United States - Boiling Springs

Today, I found out my 11 year-old's best friend, who is two months older than her, is also her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 146

What is wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after I randomly started having mild stomach rumbling in the mornings, I went to the hospital and the doctor simply told me that I had to eat more, I took his advice but it didn't work. Now I’m 6 hospital visits down the line and my stomach is so loud the sounds made could fill a hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 76

Mute

By Gassy Gal - 21/03/2021 05:01

Today, I was feeling gassy at work so I used my mute button. Later on in the day, I realized my mute button was disabled. Everyone heard me fart and it's recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 316

You can't hurry love

By giffinator6 - 01/09/2023 10:00

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me for a girl he's barely known for 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 127

Vintage cars

By Jeff Again - 03/09/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, I thought I'd be a suave gentleman by opening the car door for my date. The handle came off in my hand, and I had to spend the next 15 minutes pretending I was doing an impromptu repair on my piece of shit car, when I had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 218

Thanks, I hate it

By CakeEater - 13/05/2022 04:00

Today, after I let my job know I needed time off for a friend's funeral a week ahead of time and they declined to approve it, telling me to call in sick, the day of the funeral arrived and I called in sick, only to come back to a write-up and threats of being fired for not getting it approved in advance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 90

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 15/05/2022 02:00

Today, I got stood up on a date. To add insult to injury, meeting up was her idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 103

Long time coming

By That was twelve years ago - 23/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Edison

Today, the girl I stalked in high school found me. I've since gotten therapy and fixed my attachment issues, but she told my fiancée the whole story anyway. Now I'm single and sleeping on my clothes in the back of a U-haul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 287

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The Top

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 447

You deserved it 3 255

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 5 169

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 687

You deserved it 3 638

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 413

You deserved it 3 271

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 043

You deserved it 3 250

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 677

You deserved it 5 069