The Top

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A cautionary tale

By Anonymous - 17/12/2022 03:00 - Canada - Exeter

Today, my parents still think they can control me. I’m 27, married, and have a son. Even after all the abuse and trauma over the years, they still think that everything is fine. That they did their “best”. Why do they think this is right, and think they should have any right to my son or even see him? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 155

Leech

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I realized my habit of asking people for money came to an all time high when I asked a girl to Cash App me $5 through Instagram. She literally sent me A PENNY, said, “Quit fucking asking me for money fam” and then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 2 041

Phones are bad for you

By Katie - 14/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Basehor

Today, I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone, when my cat swatted my phone out of my hand. It hit me in the face and popped a pimple, which is now bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 181

Creamed

By Anonymous - 15/10/2021 02:00

Today, I had a heat rash on my crotch. I asked my mom for cortisone cream. While I was putting it on, it suddenly started burning. It turns out she gave me arthritis cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 196

The sweet sighs of disappointment

By ThatGuyWhoRolled - 05/01/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 412

Music sounds better with you

By Miranda - 06/12/2025 00:00

Today, my crush shared his listening age on Spotify Wrapped, as well as his top artists. We happen to have the same listening age and top artists. Yet he rejected me as a girlfriend because I’m “not his type.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 479

Rebel

By God help me - 08/12/2025 12:00

Today, my 15 year-old daughter decided that the best way to indulge her rebellious impulses was to sleep with the 30-something convict down the street, get pregnant, and try to convince him to let her move in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 117

Surprise!

By spiteful bitch - 25/07/2020 23:00

Today, my boyfriend’s ex found out I was pregnant. Her logical response was to have her teenage sons jump him as he was coming home from work. Now we’re filling out a police report instead of our baby registry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 159

Raincheck?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2024 17:00 - United States - League City

Today, it's a day before my birthday and I will be turning 14. My grandma died 5 days ago and in Indian culture you aren’t supposed to celebrate for 16 days after a loved one dies. I have dietary restrictions too and can’t eat eggs because of her death, which means I basically can’t have any sweets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 193

Complimetary complications

By Freddy89 - 02/06/2024 06:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to compliment a colleague on her new hairstyle. I said, “You look different today!” She took it as an insult, thinking I meant she looked worse. She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 180

Thieves like us

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 04:00

Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 122

Won't somebody think of the landlords?!

By Kevin - 04/06/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I had to text my landlord to tell him I’m gonna be short on rent. The guy who mugged me last night took the money I made from tips that was supposed to complete my rent. He replied, “Wow that’s wild. I don’t know how you’re gonna come up with the rest by 11:59 tonight, or you’re evicted in 30 days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 144

Bad timing

By Mel - 10/11/2021 05:00

Today, I'm in the same city as my boyfriend for the first time in two months. My body apparently did not like the idea of me having sex again, as I promptly got a UTI and then the week-long breakthrough bleeding that antibiotics often cause me. The same thing happened the week before he had to move, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 191

Good work!

By Annette - 11/06/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I gave a presentation to a group of international clients. Wanting to impress them, I tried to say "Thank you" in their language, which I thought was Portuguese. Turns out, I was speaking Spanish to a room full of French Canadians. Their confused faces were priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 743

NSFW FML

By Anonymous - 25/01/2023 10:30

Today, I signed in to my personal Google account on my work laptop. Unbeknownst to me, the browsing history and favourites from my personal computer synched, causing my kinky PornHub history to show up, all while I was screen-sharing to my boss and prospective clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 1 808

Tough time for the edgelords

By Confused - 29/12/2025 00:00

Today, I have a dilemma. I was really upset when Charlie Kirk was shot, and yelled at people who made fun of his death. However, I find the Kirkification memes edgy and funny, but I can't take part because I would be called out for being a hypocrite or worse. I don't want to get kirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 658

Protip

By Anonymous - 27/01/2023 22:30

Today, my boss told me to "act more professionally." So… I sat in the corner and cried for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 692

Take the compliment

By Anonymous - 12/08/2020 17:01

Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 473

Exhausted

By snoozes - 16/11/2021 11:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 258

Wrong place, wrong time

By Julia86 - 20/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I got to work early to set up a prank for my coworker Cathy. I wrapped everything on her desk in aluminum foil, including individual paperclips. As I finished, my boss walked in, pointed at the desk, and said, "Great work, but that's John’s desk. He’s out sick today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 704

Pagans!

By Depressed Ghost - 01/11/2021 14:00

Today, it's the Halloween after my wife and I moved into a predominantly Muslim neighborhood. We waited for three hours with a big bowl of Snickers, before the restaurant owner downstairs told us no one would come because Muslims don’t celebrate Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 899

Not digging for gold

By metroido - 10/11/2021 02:00

Today, my mom asked me, “Why in the world are you attracted to your boyfriend AT ALL if he isn’t rich?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 96

Where's my shiny thing?

By Anonymous - 08/07/2024 10:00 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, it's been week since I won a Hackathon at work, while working from home, yay! Winners get trophies, which is cool. I asked my coworker who won if he got a trophy and another coworker decided to chime in with, "Only winners get the trophies." I won, but I just didn't get a trophy. "Oh, guess they ran out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 107

Pray for me

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 14:00

Today, my wife is visiting her nana, which I hate because she comes home full of Catholic guilt, meaning I'll have to spend the next few months wasting my Sunday mornings in church, until her guilt wears off and her normal Sunday morning laziness resumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 298

In New York, concrete jungle wet dream tomato

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 02:00

Today, my brain seemingly went on vacation and I forgot the lyrics to a song I was performing in front of a live audience, so I ended up ad-libbing a bunch of garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 300

Cute but messy

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 00:00

Today, my kids made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make breakfast in bed for me. The mess was bigger than the breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 215

Teaser

By Frustrating - 21/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my wife spent the entire evening grabbing my crotch, whispering dirty things to me, and telling me how horny she was, right up until the kids went to bed. Then, it was, "Baby, I just want cuddles, I don't feel like sex" and pouting. This happens at least three times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 154

No more yodelling

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 00:00

Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 238

Time is on my side

By Old soul - 25/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I, a person who will be 21 in a few months, was mistaken for my mom's older brother. My mom is in her fifties. Apparently this is becoming increasingly common, because the world sucks. I didn't realize it was affecting me this badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 155

Rip off

By sourgirl101 - 04/01/2022 04:59

Today, I learned that my daughter pocketed the money I'd paid so she could go to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 234

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 253

You deserved it 20 976

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 103

You deserved it 29 269

Today, my mom, dad, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles came together to tell me they’re fine that I’m a lesbian, so I don’t have to be in the closet anymore. I wasn’t aware I was lesbian, I’ve been happily using men's penises since I was 19, but apparently I’m a secret lesbian. Go figure… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 204

Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 698

You deserved it 489

Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 233

Today, my boyfriend of six months, who happened to be my first kiss, broke up with me after borrowing 120 dollars. Not twenty minutes later, he was at the bar drinking with my brothers and my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 319

You deserved it 214