The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

I'm a grown-ass man!

By geodemaster - 30/01/2022 23:00

Today, I texted my dad, “My body hates me.” His response was, “No. You are pushing responsibility off yourself and refusing to do anything about it by saying that.” I was actively making a doctor’s appointment at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 424

Lonely, so lonely

By Anonymous - 01/12/2020 05:02

Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 1 116

No politik here

By Lia - 04/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I just moved from New York and I started a new school with new people. Nobody wants to be my friend or talk to me because I’m Israeli and apparently I “participate in genocide and take Americans' tax money.” I've lived in America since I was 4 and haven’t done any of that, let alone go back to Israel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 125

Love is a battlefield

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 11:01 - United States - Tilton

Today, after I finally got up the courage to open myself up to someone new after going through a brutal divorce, it was going great until he went back to his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 392

Grow up

By I fucking hate baby talk - 08/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife is mad at me for discouraging our son from baby talking. He's seven, well past the age where exaggerated mush-mouth baby talk is cute. It's grating and off-putting to see him rolling on the floor going, "Me luh mummuh and daddeh" when he's a perfectly smart, well adjusted kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 79

Can't get enough of 'em

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I ordered groceries online for pickup. Got home, unpacked everything, and only then noticed I had somehow ordered 12 cucumbers instead of 2. The receipt just said, “Quantity: 12” like that was a normal life choice. I'm gonna be having cucumbers with every meal for at least a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 308

Terms and conditions may apply

By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I learned that if you lay your cellphone on the table at a restaurant, it is not their responsibility if the server pours coffee all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 366

What did I do to you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 18:00

Today, I was kicked out of my ex-girlfriend's apartment, with whom I’ve been staying with, because I’m a 'bad influence to her two sons' since I’m an 'alcoholic who passed out and pissed the couch.” I’ve been sober since the beginning of January, and have been in AA since. I'm also prone to seizures. She does Meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 282

Silver linings and all that

By JadedAsHell - 23/05/2023 06:00

Today, my fiancé of 5 years left me for classmate of his. He says he feels more chemistry and a deeper connection with her, and if he moved forward with the wedding (most of which is non-refundable), he’d be marrying the wrong person, and it “wouldn’t be fair” to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 153

Opportunity knocks

By Anonymous - 20/05/2023 22:00

Today, I learned that Guru Tugginmypudha was right, two elephants humping is the ultimate distraction, as in, when two elephants started humping during my kids' trip to the zoo, a mad crowd of idiots rushed to watch, and somewhere in the middle of it all I clearly felt a pickpocket steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 152

Think globally

By Bloody tears - 27/05/2026 00:00 - Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, my husband got so worked up in an argument that his blood pressure spiked and he burst a vein in his eyeball. He was arguing with a guy on the internet, trying to convince him that Donald Trump is evil. We're not even American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 186

Zapped

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 11:01 - Germany - Olbersdorf

Today, I got the worst electric shock ever, touching a wire that was connected to the electric fence only by a plastic isolator, made specifically to NOT conduct electricity. I still don’t understand how it was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 150

LonelyFans

By whyyy - 01/06/2026 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, it's been two years since I dropped out of college to do OnlyFans and get rich. I've made less than a thousand on OnlyFans and have to support myself with two jobs, and no man will have me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 628

Message in a bottle

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 03:00

Today, I realized I was in love with the girl in the red Converses. She moved away about 4 months ago and it's way too late, but I haven't been able to get her out of my head, and it's killing me knowing that I lost my chance with her. I wish I was the one to really know her, not her toxic friends and family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 825

How could you?

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 89

The chase

By Paula - 05/11/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 960

Rubbing it in

By Ugly fat and old - 12/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 601

Deep cut

By It's a horrible song lmao - 08/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I lost my phone while at the store with my mom. She decided to call it, and that's when I remembered that my ringtone for her is the song "Mother" by The Police. The weirded-out stares I got as I picked up my phone have become a core memory that I absolutely did not want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 380

Metal Zone

By Anonymous - 10/11/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 215

By forgetable - 28/04/2019 02:00

Today, I offered to stay late at my delivery job because it was snowing and several people called out. An hour later I got rear ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 124

You deserved it 442

Deception

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that my husband, who was supposed to be in PA school, dropped out 6 and a half years ago and never even received his bachelor's. He started lying to me before we were even a year into dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 180

By Corn-ed-Teeth - 30/04/2019 18:00

Today, I bit into a barbecue-ed corn cob, forgetting I had a filling on my chipped front tooth. I re-chipped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 793

By TragicallyAnxious - 09/05/2019 10:00

Today, I had a draft paper due that I hadn’t written yet. I decided to skip the class to avoid embarrassment. Later, I went to change my major and was told to go to room 223 to talk to the English department head. I knocked on the door and the professor whose class I'd skipped answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 2 525

Helicopter Karen

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 22:00

Today, the mother of my most boneheaded student got upset when her “precious baby” miserably failed my class. She then threatened to accuse me of failing him due to racism, because I’m black, somehow overlooking the giant camera on the ceiling I installed for my own safety. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 114

The Fall

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 18:00

Today, as a restaurant hostess, I fell into the fountain at work while carrying a high chair in front of several large parties, who all promptly laughed at me. We were so busy, I had to stay and finish my shift soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 218

Innocence

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 11:01

Today, my mom mentioned that she doesn’t think she’s gonna let my baby sister believe in Santa. When I mentioned that I believed in Santa growing up, she casually replied with, "Yeah, well you were slow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 144

That's not a real thing

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Flitwick

Today, after talking to a girl for a little over a month, and both of us saying we liked each other and FaceTiming each other for multiple hours each day, she told me I’m “too easy to talk to” and friendzoned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 159

Everyone's a critic

By Mark A. Collette - 24/06/2023 15:00

Today, I saw the "Weird: Al Yankovic" movie. What a waste of time that I will never get back. And I don't have that much time left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 880

Happy health warning!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Gary

Today, I stayed up until 2 a.m. building my daughter's birthday present because I wanted everything to be perfect when she woke up. She opened the little oven door on the toy kitchen, and the whole thing collapsed onto the floor. I found an unopened bag of screws sitting on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 419

Natural selection

By Anonymous - 29/11/2024 20:00 - Canada - Minnedosa

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 429

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Transportation Frustration Love Sex Intimacy Health Cars Heatwave Miscellaneous Weddings Marriage My ex Family Grandparents Disney Birthday Kids Dogs Animals Awkward Relatable Cute Embarrassing Music Neighbours Housework Airport Annoying Exhausted Sports

The Top

Today, an old guy with a cane got up in my face for "mocking" the way he walked. In retrospect, I guess it is pretty offensive for me to have had knee surgery and still be recovering from it. My apologies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 507

You deserved it 1 430

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 942

You deserved it 3 342

Today, I was kicked out of an Ed Sheeran concert because my friend arrived wasted on chardonnay. She didn't care because it was her 17th time seeing him. This was my 1st time seeing him and 1st time being kicked out of a place. I was dead sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 252

You deserved it 272

Today, I got a few splinters at work. In the middle of trying to remove them, my coworkers noticed and decided to "help". Ten minutes later, the splinters are gone and so is the random mole on my palm I've had my whole life. My hand hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 278

You deserved it 380

Today, and for the last few days, I’ve been playing farming life simulator games. It dawned on me that my fictional farmers will probably be more successful and social and rich and energetic than I ever will be in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 248

Today, I went to set up for the first time the wedding tent we'd purchased, two days before the wedding, to discover one of the seven boxes was a pink light up Christmas tree and not the tent's canopy. Thanks Bed Bath & Beyond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 275