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Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 11/07/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up to realize I got my period a week early. The day of the after-wedding brunch. In a sort of remote area. Without pads or tampons. I need to be at the breakfast in a half-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 197

By FML FML FML!! - 27/05/2019 06:00

Today, we had to do a scene from Romeo and Juliet. I was Romeo, and this really pretty girl was Juliet. When she found out she was with me, I heard her say "FML." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 056

You deserved it 184

Scatterbrain

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 14:00

Today, after two frustrating days of being stuck, I finally switched my old door knob that had a broken latch. Now I can’t find the set of keys to the replacement I just installed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 744

The Grinch

By Anonymous - 19/12/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, after telling my bosses how much I dislike the Christmas holiday, they assigned ME to organize and host a holiday party for our whole company, with a “Mariah Carey Christmas Karaoke.” I hate Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 238

Most likely

By lukey101 - 11/02/2021 20:01 - Australia

Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 123

PIVOT!

By SofaKingAnnoying - 25/12/2024 20:00 - Belgium - Kasterlee

Today, the couch I ordered finally arrived. It was a long search and a little expensive but worth it for the extra comfort. It is perfect, except for the fact that it doesn't fit thought the staircase of my building. Now it's standing in the hallway because they won't take it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 459

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I showed up at my mom’s with homemade soup, since she said she wasn’t hosting Christmas Eve because she had the flu. My entire family was there without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 107

Get out of the garage

By lq87 - 09/08/2023 08:00 - United States - Lebanon

Today, I realized my fiance would rather sit in the garage and get high than spend any time with me. I can't remember the last time we had sex and I don't know what to do at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 150

Home invasion

By Need_more_spiders - 08/08/2023 14:00

Today, after already living with two wasps' nests, as well as gnats that plague our flower pots, we've also discovered moths in our pantry, who've ruined all of the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 167

Soap opera drama

By Anonymous - 26/05/2022 06:00

Today, my wife has gotten into the habit of commenting on how much more attractive men in Latin soap operas are than me. When I suggested that an older character on the show looked like her mom, she started crying, and yelling about how hard the actress's life has been. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 107

No contact from now on

By lordoftheweird - 13/08/2023 14:00 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my family why using a registered sex offender as a babysitter is a bad idea. They didn't understand and now my grandmother can't see her grandkids, and my dad is facing a lengthy prison sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 97

Road trip

By kanepie - 05/07/2019 04:03

Today, we were driving home from NYC to Knoxville after our flight got cancelled, and we had to drive with 3 strangers for 13 hours. We are now stuck in Who-Knows-Where, Virginia, with two blown tires, because a metal plate fell off an 18-wheeler in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 835

You deserved it 150

Close quarters

By Frannny - 15/08/2023 20:00

Today, my mother-in-law pulled into our driveway like a bat out of hell, knocking down the mailbox, and nearly running over our dog who was outside. What was the rush? Hannity was gonna come on TV. My husband refuses to find this woman a home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 118

Ruins

By Willa - 22/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my friend told me she managed to have sex with the guy who told me he didn’t wanna date me, or even become friends with benefits, because it would “ruin our friendship.” They’ve been friends for about two years. Apparently, her friendship with him is worth “ruining.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 178

Thanks Mom

By Anonymous - 30/01/2025 00:00 - Ghana

Today, it was confirmed that I have ADHD and moderate OCD. My mom thinks I do it on purpose to seek attention. I'm shy, and I don't even like people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 106

Like riding a bike

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 16:00 - Germany

Today, after nine years, I got back together with my first love, the man who taught me about sensuality and touch, and who no one could measure up to since. I guess this time I’ll have to do the teaching, because he has somehow forgotten even the basics of how to touch a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 209

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 07/05/2022 02:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 90

Easy life

By Anonymous - 29/08/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend is sulking because he actually thought two weeks paternity leave was going to be our new baby sleeping 18 hours a day while he played his Xbox, and get paid not to go to work every day. He was wrong, it’s been three days, and he’s exhausted already and whining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 257

Where did it all go wrong?

By Tang - 06/09/2023 10:00

Today, my last 2 ex-girlfriends, who each left me for someone else, are either travelling the world, own multiple online shops, and both are drop dead gorgeous. I have to work a full-time job while my health deteriorates from stress, bills pile up, and having been sexless for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 214

It's a dangerous day for our little friend...

By FML Approved - 19/07/2017 18:54

It's National Hotdog Day!

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 204

Great party in here

By NotRossFromFriends - 19/09/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a giant inflatable dinosaur. I got stuck in the elevator and had to be deflated to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 556

By will - 14/08/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 220

Number one or number two?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 05:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 89

Second Life

By Aaron - 12/04/2021 07:59

Today, I finally got to experience being loved, or at least what it looks like. I paid for a fabulous wedding in a video game with a reluctant friend, who only agreed after I explained all the free costumes, pets, and other items he'd receive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 421

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 18:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 189

You got slimed

By alyssa ig idk - 30/09/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I wasted 20 minutes trying to open a container of slime, only for rotten green liquid and weird brownish yellow goo to spray spanning 5 feet in all directions from me and my bed. I nearly threw up and now am getting a wet, sleepless night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 663

Winding me up

By Do I Smell Bad Or Something? - 02/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got a phone call from the psychiatrist I had an appointment with next week, telling me that they need to postpone, and the next available session is in three months. This is the fourth time this has happened to me in the last year, with the third doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 79

Where d'you all go?

By Notwanted - 20/04/2021 17:00

Today, I found out why the group chat I was in with my friends has been dead. Apparently, they made a group chat without me in it, so that they could make fun of me behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 99

Anticlimax

By Anonymous - 04/07/2022 14:00

Today, after talking to a guy for a month, he finally came over and I totally thought sex with him was going to be amazing. Unfortunately, I did all the work and I didn’t even cum, but he did, then he had the nerves to ask me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 443

Make your mind up

By ActionBastard - 23/04/2021 04:59

Today, I was chewed out by my boss for reporting someone not wearing a mask in our store, because, "no one likes a snitch." I'm the security guard. It's my job to report that to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 162

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The Top

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 652

You deserved it 13 288

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 700

You deserved it 41 178

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 791

You deserved it 5 059

Today, I asked my mother to take a picture of me with my phone. She managed to drop the phone thrice within 5 minutes. Now the phone is busted and she refuses to pay for the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 310

You deserved it 710

Today, my wife told me about an old boyfriend she had. She told me that they used to fool around, and that she’d give him blow jobs all the time. I never get any action like that from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 276

Today, while chatting with my work friend, our work photographer walked in saying she needed two people for a photo for our company social media. My friend said OK, and without hesitation the photographer said, while side-eyeing me, “Great. I’ll go see who else might be free to be in the picture with you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 119