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No thanks for you

By Anonymous - 30/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, it was Thanksgiving and the first time my boyfriend would be meeting my whole family. He was nervous so he started drinking. By the end of the night, he was belligerently drunk and kissed my aunt twice thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 143

Alcoholics of the world, get help

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 02:01

Today, I know my life is awesome when my partner and I have to plan watching movies and having sex around his drinking schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 255

Hat Up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my partner was sent 450 miles away by the army, after he had been home for only 22 hours. Yesterday they told him he could come home for two weeks. I guess the British army doesn't want me to be happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 221

Ego boost

By FatBeachGirl - 21/03/2022 00:00

Today, I was feeling confident, so I rented a cabana at the beach and put on my best swimsuit. I was at the bar when suddenly the stool gave way under me. I was drenched in Mojito and a bunch of spring breakers laughed at me, making fat jokes. I spent the rest of the day crying in the cabana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 208

Dementia or hate? You decide

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 11:01

Today, I spent an hour listening to my mother-in-law go over the details of how happy my husband was at his wedding, while she went through the photo album and stared at the pictures. The wedding with his first wife. I spend several days each month with her taking care of her, and she does this kind of thing every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 442

You deserved it 226

Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 11/07/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up to realize I got my period a week early. The day of the after-wedding brunch. In a sort of remote area. Without pads or tampons. I need to be at the breakfast in a half-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 196

By FML FML FML!! - 27/05/2019 06:00

Today, we had to do a scene from Romeo and Juliet. I was Romeo, and this really pretty girl was Juliet. When she found out she was with me, I heard her say "FML." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 050

You deserved it 180

Scatterbrain

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 14:00

Today, after two frustrating days of being stuck, I finally switched my old door knob that had a broken latch. Now I can’t find the set of keys to the replacement I just installed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 739

The Grinch

By Anonymous - 19/12/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, after telling my bosses how much I dislike the Christmas holiday, they assigned ME to organize and host a holiday party for our whole company, with a “Mariah Carey Christmas Karaoke.” I hate Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 233

PIVOT!

By SofaKingAnnoying - 25/12/2024 20:00 - Belgium - Kasterlee

Today, the couch I ordered finally arrived. It was a long search and a little expensive but worth it for the extra comfort. It is perfect, except for the fact that it doesn't fit thought the staircase of my building. Now it's standing in the hallway because they won't take it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 447

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I showed up at my mom’s with homemade soup, since she said she wasn’t hosting Christmas Eve because she had the flu. My entire family was there without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 106

Too much meat on my hands

By Anonymous - 21/02/2021 07:58

Today, despite being utterly depressed, I thawed 7 kilos of raw meat, in order to put it through the meat grinder. Not only did my mom forget to clean certain parts of the meat grinder after last using it, she also seems to have lost another part, without which the machine doesn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 138

Get on with it!

By Mimmi491 - 28/02/2021 17:01

Today, I'm waiting for the second evaluator to accept my master's thesis so I can graduate. If my grade isn't submitted by the end of the week, my credits will expire, which will have consequences for my job. The evaluator is the same woman who graded essays from the beginning of the college year at the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 124

Get out of the garage

By lq87 - 09/08/2023 01:00 - United States - Lebanon

Today, I realized my fiance would rather sit in the garage and get high than spend any time with me. I can't remember the last time we had sex and I don't know what to do at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 147

Home invasion

By Need_more_spiders - 08/08/2023 14:00

Today, after already living with two wasps' nests, as well as gnats that plague our flower pots, we've also discovered moths in our pantry, who've ruined all of the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 163

Soap opera drama

By Anonymous - 26/05/2022 06:00

Today, my wife has gotten into the habit of commenting on how much more attractive men in Latin soap operas are than me. When I suggested that an older character on the show looked like her mom, she started crying, and yelling about how hard the actress's life has been. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 106

No contact from now on

By lordoftheweird - 13/08/2023 08:00 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my family why using a registered sex offender as a babysitter is a bad idea. They didn't understand and now my grandmother can't see her grandkids, and my dad is facing a lengthy prison sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 97

Road trip

By kanepie - 05/07/2019 04:03

Today, we were driving home from NYC to Knoxville after our flight got cancelled, and we had to drive with 3 strangers for 13 hours. We are now stuck in Who-Knows-Where, Virginia, with two blown tires, because a metal plate fell off an 18-wheeler in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 150

Close quarters

By Frannny - 15/08/2023 20:00

Today, my mother-in-law pulled into our driveway like a bat out of hell, knocking down the mailbox, and nearly running over our dog who was outside. What was the rush? Hannity was gonna come on TV. My husband refuses to find this woman a home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 116

Ruins

By Willa - 22/01/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, my friend told me she managed to have sex with the guy who told me he didn’t wanna date me, or even become friends with benefits, because it would “ruin our friendship.” They’ve been friends for about two years. Apparently, her friendship with him is worth “ruining.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 172

Nightmare mother

By scared shirtless - 18/03/2021 20:01

Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 235

The sleepwalkers are at it again!

By sierra - 11/03/2021 02:02

Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 333

Thanks Mom

By Anonymous - 29/01/2025 23:00 - Ghana

Today, it was confirmed that I have ADHD and moderate OCD. My mom thinks I do it on purpose to seek attention. I'm shy, and I don't even like people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 105

Like riding a bike

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 16:00 - Germany

Today, after nine years, I got back together with my first love, the man who taught me about sensuality and touch, and who no one could measure up to since. I guess this time I’ll have to do the teaching, because he has somehow forgotten even the basics of how to touch a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 203

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 19/03/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 197

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 90

Easy life

By Anonymous - 29/08/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend is sulking because he actually thought two weeks paternity leave was going to be our new baby sleeping 18 hours a day while he played his Xbox, and get paid not to go to work every day. He was wrong, it’s been three days, and he’s exhausted already and whining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 255

Where did it all go wrong?

By Tang - 06/09/2023 10:00

Today, my last 2 ex-girlfriends, who each left me for someone else, are either travelling the world, own multiple online shops, and both are drop dead gorgeous. I have to work a full-time job while my health deteriorates from stress, bills pile up, and having been sexless for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 209

It's a dangerous day for our little friend...

By FML Approved - 19/07/2017 18:54

It's National Hotdog Day!

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 204

Great party in here

By NotRossFromFriends - 19/09/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a giant inflatable dinosaur. I got stuck in the elevator and had to be deflated to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 549

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The Top

Today, I failed my driving test before even leaving the DMV parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 675

You deserved it 30 963

Today, I went on a second date with a girl that I like and had a really good time while with her. We got pretty drunk and then went back to mine. When things started to get sexy, I accidentally called her by her sister's name. A girl I don’t even know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 1 011

Today, at work, I served a rude ass customer and his bratty ass kid, and was forced to swipe her toy debit card so it appeared as if the daughter paid for her snack. In that moment, I questioned my entire existence. Whichever company invented that toy hates cashiers everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 290

Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 096

You deserved it 3 171

Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 863

You deserved it 18 847

Today, I finally met the cute guy that I've been talking to for the last 3 weeks. Turns out "5'8"" was a really big exaggeration for "5"3' in boots'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 916

You deserved it 1 431