Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Louisville, United States
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Dragoness11
United Kingdom
Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Auberry, United States
How thoughtful
Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
phonemenace
United States
Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML
maruskasommers
Czech Republic
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
ugh
Milford, United States
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
sick of this shit
West Grove, United States
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
keyless
Aberdeen, United Kingdom
Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
Top comments
H3RPxD3RP 0
Better than 50,000 knives in your car
grahambertus 11
I dont know man. They're both some pretty forked up ideas. I hope nothing like that happens to me any time spoon. Its just knife to know that I'm safe at the moment.
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Comments (79)
H3RPxD3RP 0
Better than 50,000 knives in your car
boofgall 16
..er, not really.
grahambertus 11
I dont know man. They're both some pretty forked up ideas. I hope nothing like that happens to me any time spoon. Its just knife to know that I'm safe at the moment.
enonymous 9
If you don't like sporks there is something seriously wrong with you.
delilah09 6
I see what you did there : )
ThisIsMyReign 4
14 - haha +1
GovernorGeneral 8
And the problem is...?
construction 7
23. Aha -4 : )
aurynforever 14
Or 10,000 spoons.
JoshTheMaggot 8
He is clearly going through a midlife crisis, he just wants a sporks car.
ilovenaes 1
Luckyy youu
ImFrackinBored 13
I dunno man... Sporks are serious business...
jaredjudd21 2
Sporks, there like spoons, but they're also forks. Only god could have thought of such a silverware.
jaredjudd21 2
*they're
grahambertus 11
Or Samuel Francis, inventor of the spork.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Hmmm, I don't recall ever having seen silver sporks. Seems like god prefers cheap plasticware instead.
jaredjudd21 2
#10 -He is god. #11 -silver Sporks are made just for the worthy
summerbreeze888 10
Why the hell would he want a ******* spork collection?!
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
One for every restaurant he's ever gone too.
anjtrg_1112 23
Because sporks are fascinating, you can't tell whether they're a spoon or a fork! (:
JacobWithaY 5
Why wouldn't you want one?
badass243 6
they are a great combination of spoon and fork...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
An even better combination - the knork. Knife and fork in one! Clone High, anyone?
construction 7
15, nope that show sucked
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Hey now, 41, I liked it. Besides, I got bitched out and buried on here for declaring Maury a terrible show. People's tastes confuse me sometimes.
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Time to pull out your Handy-Dandy trash bag! :D
xSonic 9
Yes, a penis could do that
Amrel 10
He will make your mom scratch his ass with it. I warned you
kemando 22
Dude sporks are totes agnostic, what are they? A spoon? A fork? Nobody can say.
ICATiger 13
Gotta get them all...
Jewnut 0
Lol imagine how many there will be after a week if they are already filling your car