Anonymous
United States
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
i stole your daughter's virginity anyways!!
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML
me.
Fort Wayne, United States
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Bobo
Heist
Today, my father stole the money I'd saved up by working and spent it all gambling. I'd saved it up for a year for a new car. FML
Dan223
United States
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in almost five years, at his funeral. FML
bubblzzz
Reported
Today, my father called the cops saying I stole his car. It's my car, but his name is on the title. Why did he report it stolen? Because rather than taking him to a bar and being his designated driver, I went to a job interview. FML
Anonymous
Sneaky
Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML
nodad
United States
Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML
carless
United States
Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML
Anonymous
Today, my dad described our security cameras recording a stranger stealing money from his car, and then called me unhealthy and paranoid for locking my car all the time. My car is usually parked right next to his. FML
DevilsTemptation
Dundee, United Kingdom
Drunken antics
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Top comments
jayellef 3
Call the cops.
L_Lovegood 19
Nothing like family.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
jayellef 3
Call the cops.
margie2194 12
Of course it's in Texas. Where else?
Michael_92 20
But if you wait to call it could be more fun.
uprising_fml 0
yes, because Texas is more susceptible to crime than Los Angles, Detroit and any other big city . that was sarcasm in case you didn't sense it . crime is everywhere, where are you from, Disney land ?
jwade11 12
One of a kind family reunion!!!
KK3137 31
14 - yes and Texas is also a big city...
KK3137 31
14 - yes, because Texas is a big city..
SandyyBabyy 6
6 & 26 - wow, ignorant much?
pancakerocks 1
no way. i thought texas was a state. but what do i know.
sadistmonkey 19
26 was pointing out that comparing Texas to Detroit and LA is odd
trollfaced 2
That's not needed, his dad was just borrowing his car without telling him
reaganomics 6
6 I'm interested to know the basis of that profoundly ignorant statement, why would Texas be the obvious place for this to happen?
Lylej2k 2
LMFAO
rainbowbigbird 7
14 - Even Disneyland has it's fair share of crime...
KK3137 31
Yes, to everyone commenting on my comment, it was sarcasm. I was in fact pointing out that you should compare Texas to LA or Detroit because IT IS a state.
jmtmxer 0
6- there are 49 other states plus all the other places in the world where people own cars..... So yea that's where else
reginal 9
Ur a dumb ass
sadistmonkey 19
TheIsland - I understood it before he explained it. Just because some people don't understand sarcasm doesn't mean that the sarcasm is bad.
QuisMysterium 4
6 - Compton.
Shootermtd25 7
maybe ur just not smart enough to figure it out
BDTony13 0
FYL what a way to reunite!
m0tl3ycru3 0
Like when ricky bobby's dad showed up for career day on taladega nights "if your not first your last!"
aceman1992 9
Hey beggars can't be choosers.
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
Did he ground u after u called the cops?
L_Lovegood 19
Nothing like family.
Moota 9
You just can't get enough of them.
slick5880 22
As thick as thieves
eva42_fml 0
Haha so true
Mijn 2
That's not the best way to have contact with your father I guess, thought things weren't good between me and my father, but it doesn't seem that bad now..
SolemnlyLove 7
I feel like you're not really telling us everything..
white16sox 19
7 what more could be told?
Horcruxer 0
Perhaps, a guy is trying to steal your car, you stop him and it's somehow revealed maybe thru a mum that he's your father?
uprising_fml 0
how ironic ... this sounds like a good plot to a novel . OP: "dad...is that you??" OPs dad: "uh no" OP: "yes huh!! what's up dad?" OPs dad: "shut the **** up, I'm stealin' your car son." OP: sad face ! ?
zoPwNAgEzo 21
No
SandyyBabyy 6
Sounds like a shitty novel.
benderbot19 0
That wasn't a plot, that was just horribly-written dialogue. Good luck on your novel.
kidtoronto 5
Shut up 10
Vegeto30294 19
Good luck getting Oprah to accept that.
JrTinoco 6
Umm yeah... I don't see the irony
white16sox 19
10 where is OP's gender specified?
RaquelRox2299 0
What are you, 10? That was the worst "novel" I've ever heard!
Frankinatore98 0
Still a better story than twilight
florido_fml 10
He just wanted an excuse to start a conversation with you duhh
Sammeh_Higgins 0
Stealing a car is the best way to say I love you. Didn't you know that? Fyl.
skinthesnakes 6
Call the cops and 10 minutes later they will haul his ass off.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Awkward family reunion