Anonymous
United States
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
i stole your daughter's virginity anyways!!
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML
me.
Fort Wayne, United States
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Bobo
Heist
Today, my father stole the money I'd saved up by working and spent it all gambling. I'd saved it up for a year for a new car. FML
Dan223
United States
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in almost five years, at his funeral. FML
bubblzzz
Reported
Today, my father called the cops saying I stole his car. It's my car, but his name is on the title. Why did he report it stolen? Because rather than taking him to a bar and being his designated driver, I went to a job interview. FML
Anonymous
Sneaky
Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML
nodad
United States
Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML
carless
United States
Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML
Anonymous
Today, my dad described our security cameras recording a stranger stealing money from his car, and then called me unhealthy and paranoid for locking my car all the time. My car is usually parked right next to his. FML
DevilsTemptation
Dundee, United Kingdom
Drunken antics
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Top comments
jayellef 3
Call the cops.
L_Lovegood 19
Nothing like family.
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Comments (115)
Nosrebor 8
I would've tazed him. "You're not running away again, dad!"
julia_lynn 21
Wow. I hope you chased him down or called the cops or SOMETHING. That is just all kinds of messed up.
That0therguy 4
Changed your profile pic please.
julia_lynn 21
Wow, that was relevant to the conversation. Here's an idea: if you don't like the image of my face, either don't look at it (the images are so tiny on here you can hardly see it anyway), or stfu.
shutupYDI 4
54- that was rude and irrelevant. there's nothing wrong with her picture so shut the hell up. haters gonna hate
perdix 31
Sorry to hear that, Sue.
TipOfTheHat 10
At least you got to see him again!
ThatsAfurry 9
well you'll be able to see him a lot more in jail if you choose to visit
Stickyspit44 0
after all the things your dads done for you! you think hes stealing it?? he obviously is getting his money back becuase you were a useless kid and he sppent money on when you were little! thats the reason he left in the first place!
THE_A_TEEN 28
I smell douche, oh wait it's just #33...
glittercookies 12
What's wrong with you?
sr101998 0
33 you need to be shot in any major city so people won't miss you and your douchy retardation!
galactictoast13 22
so your idea of a dad who hasn't been seen by OP in ten years is a great giving selfless and thought full dad obviously your just an ignorant backward ass moron who needs to get a life instead of trolling on the internet you jackass
Capt_Oblivious 10
You use your car on a date, end up in the back seat making out, an unplanned pregnancy, a baby comes along, and in the future you are stealing your sons car to protect him. This pattern has to stop, so he's sacrificing himself to save you from falling into his footsteps. (nah, really he's just being a dick)
ScarletBloom 14
Learn from Mr Bean. Whenever you leave your car, lock it using the lock pad and take out the steering wheel as well.
arlena95 0
Ahahahahahahahaha XD!!
TonyIsMyDog 2
Nice hat
iliketurdles 7
"hat".. Yeahhh, who you fooling? You're 32. She's 16. Stop looking.
fml_ydi79 15
Well said 76!
lajaynay 15
**** your dad up.