Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML
Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Probably some homemade mayo.
xlorawrz 9
... So did you stop eating the sandwich when he started laughing?
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Comments (199)
frank678 7
FYL op.
SmallyBigs 9
Maybe he put some of his secret sauce in it.
Midrash 5
He can beat it out of him. I'm guessing OP is the older brother...
enonymous 9
OHH BURN he used ******* regular mayo and not the lite. You gained like 300 extra ******* calories. IN YOUR FACE
MizzErikaHart 8
Next time make ur own sandwich.
LiyIa_fml 8
Unless you are sick or injured, you should have made your own sandwich! Don't be lazy!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I agree with 32, I do that all the time. It's completely harmless but so evil at the same time.
ninjaniki 0
a male..? making a sandwich? what is the world coming to!?
absolutegrrr 7
I swear I've shared worse fml moments than this which have never got submitted :(
ArcadePie 10
If you had half a sandwich left why didn't you open it and see what was in it?
MEXIKANO 0
UGH no one cares
fthislyfe 22
Reminded me of Barney Stinson
Kyzahhh 7
Roast beef and baby gravy sandwich?
RocketNinjaFish 12
YDI. Make your own bloody sandwich next time.
Jovecove 13
I'm thinking home-made mayonnaise. By hand.
moparallday 0
Nice pic
kutiekathy 2
maybe he didn't put anything in it and your worrying is the prank??
madaoxsan 9
@37 actually its just evil and completely (mentally) harmful. bordering psychological abuse. like saying ...I may or may not kill my ex's cute dog while she's at work and set her apartment on fire. Yanno? Or no?
Freeze_fml 17
Probably some homemade mayo.
Enigmax2514 7
Yes, we all know what that means... Now time for a detailed plotting of a most unfortunate regrettable untimely sinister demise of a certain family member, he will be sorely missed I'm sure
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
With bacon strips & bacon strips & bacon strips like a baws....... and some sweat from his bawls
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Why does my sandwich taste predominantly of salty snot?
slushpup9696 12
Handmade mayo sounds a lot worse than homemade mayo. Unless with homemade, the whole house is contributing...
kings1fan 6
^ idiot
slushpup9696 12
^Agreed, that guy is such a dumbass.
mfjkr 10
We need to add that special sawwwwce to our monster omelet
MrPhucked 0
Super Secret Ingredient ;)
guckylynn 19
Probably nothing actually.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Reverse psychology was in this sandwich
masterass333 0
Viagra
00SPRANGER00 0
epic mealtime reference. I see what you did there you crafty dog you(;
darknova131 4
Rainbow dash!
Jimster1712 0
You sir, win at life.
xlorawrz 9
... So did you stop eating the sandwich when he started laughing?
36AngryPandas 1
But that's a waste of a sandwich? Women....
fruitinthemiddle 1
Ewwwwwwwwwww....
Jdimp 1
11- win
missbadluk 0
Haha
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He must had made a TURD SANDWITCH, like in south park. haha :D
36AngryPandas 1
Hahahahahahahahahahaha...shut up
emateetee 0
that was dumb shutup
SpruceDread4578 13
Her name makes it much more understandable.
atldude28 7
What? The spelling error or being completely unfunny and close to retarded?
dancer10xoxo 5
ladies don't watch south park :P
Hayman68 4
they also don't poo
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Well, you are from Georgie, so it's understandable.
Toowoo 3
Can't we all just look at the man picture here. Some person is eating a nasty samich (spelled wrong purposely)..
zoPwNAgEzo 21
113 - hypocrite much?
redrumbear 9
Take away the cute in her username and we have an accurate description of number 4.
hailphire130 0
I think 4 looks like a man. Just saying.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
According to you, you're just as much of a stereotyping ass as I am. You should probably make your point in a different way.
FreakAZoidd 3
Ummm 4, you're blonde isn't even natural. Sooo you're just illiterate..
masterass333 0
GAINT DOUCHE FTW
CuteDumBlonde64 11
I never had so many THUMBS DOWN ever in my life. *sigh* -_-' Might as well get use to it.... My going to cry in a corner now
iFizzgig 11
WIN
Jimster1712 0
IplI agree with your username, just that the word "cute&'kmk Mm M
xdust 4
Probably something awesome! Or maybe he just wanted to screw with you by laughing. Hmmm I'll have to try that out.
terranada 3
I know I'd do that lol
BostonBear 33
I think he was just screwing with the op. pretty funny either way though
number0 8
Mmmm nothing like fresh gravy!
pfx2_fml 15
It's probably better that you don't know
36AngryPandas 1
Sir... your location is false.
kouklistax3 2
Nice picture..."smoking" is soo cool. I think I'm gonna go buy a blunt and take a picture to be just like you!
slushpup9696 12
It's okay, he didn't know how to light it so he just took the picture and then put it away in his closet, next to the sock he uses to jerk off.
ProhibitionRose 14
You're all wrong. It's just a piece of rolled up paper
kouklistax3 2
I totally did not notice that. Thank you soo much for pointing that out!
MEXIKANO 0
My moms is a dog...so u can be where ever u want...
lizbiz5694 4
How does mocking him have anything to do with this FML?
Ecklcakes 15
It has everything to do with this FML.
pfx2_fml 15
It's ok, I understand that people love to hate on peoples fml's because there to much of a pussy to do it in real life
pfx2_fml 15
It's ok, I understand that people love to hate on peoples fml's because there to much of a pussy to do it in real life
stoneywoney 3
Wow only fags would take pics with an unlit "ciggarette".
CryMoreFMLs 15
154 - I would make fun of you in real life too. Behind your baxk, of course, so your point is kinda invalid...
kouklistax3 2
I'd do it to his face if I knew him in person.
Enigmax2514 7
Force the rest of the sandwich down his throat? That will cease the laughter too. Double score
Cleao18317 11
Don't be lazy and make your own sandwich
RabidBunny 10
You know what they say, what you don't know won't hurt you :D
Mewzakuro240 0
Except... Well... When it does.
iFizzgig 11
would you like arsenic with that?