Sixth sense

By RecentCollegeGrad - 17/06/2015 18:09

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 569
You deserved it 9 919

Same thing different taste

Top comments

NotGabe 28

Retest. Pregnancy tests aren't 100% true to their results.


Is this the second comming of Christ? ...on the other hand virginity is very rare among recent college grads.

Condoms are only 97% effective. And yes they do put that on the box. Your mom has some solid mother's intuition there.

Unless you didn't have sex, clearly there's a way for you to be pregnant...Job well done mother, and I guess congratulations!!!

condoms are only 97% effective. That's why I use condoms and pull out. Never ejaculate into a woman even with a condom. Just my personal advice.

To quote the great Billy Conolly wild horses couldn't pull my arse in the opposite direction at that moment in time.

I'm sure she will try to refrain from ejaculating into a woman next time... We would hate to see her get another woman pregnant by making that same mistake.

Pre-ejaculate also carries sperm. So there is no way to keep a woman completely free of the potential for pregnancy even with condoms and the pull out method. If you don't want to get pregnant only 100% sure way is abstinence. But this is 2015 and people are going to do what they want to do.

Eff_Itt 20

@124, it may not be 100% but you can get damn close! Woman on bc, plus condom, and pulling out. If someone gets pregnant doing all three, that sperm was seriously stubborn and you should be impressed with the future child.

@124 you say that as if there was ever a time period in the history of humanity when young humans didn't have lots of sex!

I don't understand why more young women (who can afford it, or have access to it) aren't on BC. I would never want to leave that responsibility up to the guy.

That could actually be why she thought there was no way: you can get pregnant on birth control but because you bleed every months you think you're not but because the bleeding isn't a period, it doesn't mean anything.

Because it ******* sucks. I was on it for cramps and yes it helped my cramps and pimples but I couldn't wear tampons because it inflamed my cervix and tampons were very painful, it can give you an infection, it kills your sex drive and you're always dry no matter what. Not to mention it ***** with your emotions and can cause blood clots among having fertility problems later down the line. So sure, it may be fine for you, but don't assume it's good for every woman. Birth control is great because you won't be having any sex at all with all the side effects it causes

johhnyboy39 11

sounds like a really bad situation for you.

Not necessarily. It's not the end of your life you know.


right how was there no way? I was waiting for op to say he's a dude...

Maybe there was a - secret - will which would explain the way. So please, OP tell us why there was no way.

Apparently they don't teach how babies are made anymore... Most people understand that when they graduate college

joeyl2008 29

I'm concerned that she was roofied

Either she has WAY too much confidence in birth control or she hasn't been paying attention to the angles

I'm more interested in how the mother knew (heartburn my ass). I'm thinking she kept going into the toilet after her daughter everyday with a pregnancy test, until one day she got the two striped treasure. An elaborate way to inflate her ago and prove her psychic superpowers. But then again, I've been accused of being too paranoid so..

Xclaina 7

Should've been more careful, Toilet seat left overs might be the father . Even if you abstain or have the safest combination of; spermicide-condoms, an IUD, the calendar method, and pulling out, your uterus' main priority is pregnancy. Be wary, ladies.

NotGabe 28

Retest. Pregnancy tests aren't 100% true to their results.

No, but unless OP is undergoing hormone replacement therapy or has a hormone secreting tumor, she's preggo. Still, I'm right there with you- multiple pregnancy tests coming right up!

Actually you're more likely to get a false negative than a false positive. So chances are OP is indeed up the duff.

False positives are extremely rare, usually only if someone believes they're pregnant (and therefore produce pregnancy hormones) or are on hormone replacement will there be a false positive

There are no false positives. Only false negatives. A retest isn't necessary. A doctor will only retest to confirm for medical records.

I'm going to elaborate here on #4. Pregnancy tests on which you urinate on are shit, false positives all the way. It's best to go to a doctor/hospital and ask for a pregnancy test, BetaHCG.

#102 how dense are you? of course there are false positives, have you not heard of hysterical pregnancies? also, hormonal imbalances can cause a false positive. there are many other reasons for a false positive as well.

NotGabe 28

Thanks for clarifying, #4. That's what I meant. Given that her mother was demanding her to get a pregnancy test, I doubt they waited for a scheduled appointment.

NotGabe 28

102. Yeah that is 100% false. Ive had TWO false positives, one blood one urine. Both given by medical professionals. My male friend also had a positive blood pregnancy test. And no he didnt have cancer.

tchatter 7

While it is possible to get a false negative, the chance of a false positive is less than 1%. Sincerely, a NURSE

Just give her some Tums, so she'll get better and won't think your pregnant

lexiieeex3 32

That's not how this works...

I'm not sure you understand what transpired here...

If he can't comprehend the FML, I feel as if he may not even know what "Transpired" may mean. Ehh. What do I know though.

If there is literally no way you could be pregnant, you need a doctor asap. That's a serious medical condition. Otherwise, there was /some/ way for it to have happened. Hope all's well whatever the case :)

I guess there was a way you could be pregnant..

Your display picture makes this comment amusing. Your mother had a similar experience huh?

Hey, i heard of your story! but i must have misheard the name, because it wasn't Dick_Diamond in the story :S

Queen_of_Night 20

In Dick_Diamonds name we pray... Amen.

Is there a small chance you may be pregnant? One night stand perhaps? I would go get checked OP so you know for sure.