Today, I went to visit my great-grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
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Top comments
genesisnirvana 11
she's old.she's crazy.it makes sense.
ambowew 7
It's a subtle hint that you're the second dog in that household. I advise you to check your ear - I'm sure she marked you in your sleep.
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Comments (129)
bamwizzle 7
How is this FML? Or even FHL, for that matter?
genesisnirvana 11
she's old.she's crazy.it makes sense.
yummycupkake 0
shh. grandma doesn't know that tho. :S
Rynow 7
time to put her down..
Jimmyd0t 0
You're the other dog aka you're a bitch
dolphincheddar 10
35. it's the part that's shortly followed by death or the complete loss of driving skills
RetardedBullFrog 4
Well I guess blue's clues doesn't count . . .
HappyCynic 0
27- Put her down on an unfinished road at night with a gun.
chili10 18
68, on 4th of July.
LakersFanatiC 3
word!
1molinamatt 5
How is this an fml? If anything the dog should be pissed not you :s
MrFlintstone 5
y f your life if she is your great grandmother be happy she's still alive cause mines not
MrsDruidess 23
how is this post at all **** her life? cause her gran is old? umm that just life. What a dumb bitch
athena3100 9
i like her!
Dr_Jalepenos 0
she was talking about u! jk
sweetbabysweet93 10
that's awesome
Andrewlostnow 3
I can't wait tell I'm old!
whybother8 0
til*
chiddy_bang71 0
until*
chippa 24
*till/'til/until
Das_Judenburg 0
c c c c c combo breaker!
jonmansheppard 9
Alot of older people get Dimensia, a memory loss disease. I am guessing she is one of them
toelie 26
*dementia
blanquito 1
Chlamydia*
mahomie97 7
thank you captain obvious:D
lmfaoooooooooo 4
I tried to keep pressing thumbs up on 26's comment but FML wouldn't let me :(
Evan2297 0
*A lot.
ambowew 7
It's a subtle hint that you're the second dog in that household. I advise you to check your ear - I'm sure she marked you in your sleep.
jonmansheppard 9
this made me lol!
yummycupkake 0
did you laugh out loud? did you reeeeallly
Crazy_Toss3R 0
this made me lqtmf (laugh quietly to myself)
Drigr 9
why do you have an f at the end of lqtm? I could understand maybe lqtms to add in a letter for self.
heyheyannie1 0
myself is one word
chippa 24
Nobody said it wasn't.
Musickal 16
Wait, why slash how does this F your life? It's not like she hurt the dog, unless she poured the polish right into its ear canal. And if she didn't hurt the dog, it's nothing more than an inconvenience to you. I understand if it's hard to watch someone you love become detached from reality, if that's what you're getting at, but... :/
enonymous 9
Same way I organize my relatives.
dolphincheddar 10
same here. but only the dead ones. you can't tell the difference after a few years of decomposition
chiddy_bang71 0
omg dolphincheddar u comment on everything and rarely r u funny.
dolphincheddar 10
and this is a problem for you?
CryMoreFMLs 15
I like him. You got a problem with it, stare into my eyes and sink into a bottomless oblivion. Then I will eat you slowly... mehehehe....
MrSassypants 34
50 I read your profile thanks for calling me funny and all but I think dolphin is funnier then me. So I'm going to ask you to not call him unfunny.
Zambaku 9
Umm stalker-much?
Lizza330 28
Maybe you just can't see the others.
Musickal 16
I honestly find that kind of hilarious. Why would it be moderated? xD
mooshibear140 4
...because they aren't there.. ^^^
redfishbluefish2 13
She's like Luna Lovegood!