Today, I went to visit my great-grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
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Top comments
genesisnirvana 11
she's old.she's crazy.it makes sense.
ambowew 7
It's a subtle hint that you're the second dog in that household. I advise you to check your ear - I'm sure she marked you in your sleep.
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Comments (129)
darkaqua3498 3
animal cruelty right there ...
lol32360 0
agreed.
cinderella2122 0
that's horrible I hope you took it to the VET to get it's ears cleaned.
thetrollyoulike 6
you know it is just nail polish that will wash off with a wet rag... no need to go all PETA on us.
mjhcc 6
Haha, Grandmas .. Gotta love them :)
kialuvsyoo 3
How is your life f'ed? This didn't affect you :p
kenny2008 0
lol my grandma once painted my dogs nails cuz she was bored
ostrich13 0
bahahahahahah(: that's awesome. (:
DownWithSebster 9
And? How does this make it an fml? It's not like it was your dog...
coolcatgarcia 0
What's up she got a sister???
raavybaaby_fml 0
And how does this make your life ******? Oh yeah,it doesn't.
MaryPoppins88 14
I feel sorry for the dog