Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59990) - you deserved it (6406)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34059) - you deserved it (9743)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

#6493156
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (9309)

On 11/28/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lol smiley face - United States

Today, I had to look at my positive ebay feedback to feel loved. FML

#6491892
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30814) - you deserved it (5600)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:22am - love - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24646) - you deserved it (8829)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

#6485720
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (7127)

On 11/27/2009 at 10:02pm - love - by lonelyguy (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

#6482336
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (9467)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56616) - you deserved it (2848)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

#6478242
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30265) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/27/2009 at 1:16pm - love - by singlegirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I received the sweetest love letter from my boyfriend after having a bad day. After gushing about it and reading it to my friends, they said it reminded them of a letter that they'd seen online. He got it from a fill-in-the-blank love letter generator. FML

#6474495
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29951) - you deserved it (4840)

On 11/27/2009 at 3:09am - love - by Duped (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to lunch with a girl I like and her best friend. We had a good time, even talked for a few hours at the restaurant, but after we left, she stopped talking to me. Her friend told her that I kept staring at her chest; I was trying to see what her pendant was. FML

#6462459
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10860) - you deserved it (34712)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by LonelyLoner (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

#6461991
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30743) - you deserved it (2850)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

#6459212
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (7592)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:18am - love - by amy1023 (woman) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: