Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, someone told my girlfriend that I cheated on her. I've never cheated in my life. Instead of talking to me about it, she made a big post on Facebook about what a dick I am. Pretty much all the comments went along the lines of "What a bastard." and "Ugh, men are pigs." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML
Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
You call your hand, "Jill?" Good name I suppose. I call my fancy shower head, "Leo."
mjoyn98 1
Explain it to your girlfriend if she's a keeper she'll understand. If she doesn't, you're probably better off with Jill. . .
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Comments (69)
mizuki123 8
Aww it'll be ok:)
SkoomaKi 28
Not for Jill....poor Jill...
MrBoredGuy 1
Palmera Handerson
Cad6 24
Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill enjoyed that pickled dill. But one fine day, Jack got a thrill, from young little Lill, and ditched ol' jill as roadside kill. Young Lill didn't last long, for she felt a chill, and her suspicion was fullfilled and left the hill. And till this day, there isn't much to say, but jack still goes up the hill, with his beloved ol' Jill.
JayJaysGirl 0
Does Jill Jack?(;
Damn_Hippster 11
28-that brought a tear to my eye.
JayBear14 11
It was so weird reading this because my name is Jill. Since when do guys name their hands?
GreatGeak 8
rofl... whoops, cats outa the back....Jill knows about Jill.
Cad6 24
#64 - Do you mean cat's out of the bag?
stopsignman 0
the bags off of the cat
dethbunny 0
28- did you mean Lill at the end, not Jill? Sorry for being sort of a "Grammer Nazi," your post was very beautiful.
Daiyuki 5
And yet you didn't get it
GODert 8
Oh ya I use my Jill all the time. Ya that does not sound right.
olpally 33
Rosy palm and my five friends would have explained it better to the gf... Hopefully she understands the joke now :)
heyguysitsjosh 8
2- you dumbass. Look at your hand. Your fingers spell the word "Jill"
Drigr 9
I actually had NO idea about the "Jill" thing. And when you said it, I looked at my palm, of course, then had to turn it over and had an awkward "Ohhhhhhhh!!!!!" moment
Drigr 9
*realizes he just gave away that hes right handed*
laughterislife 2
This FML reminds me of swiftkaratechop
lalatookasheema 8
85- He could be looking at the palm of his left hand.
FML_Master2133 6
130 - I'm holding my iPod in my right hand so I looked at my left hand's palm. And I actually have a girl in my class named Jill, she's pretty hot so this made me laugh. (the FML) anyways, I'm just saying I would stay with Jill :)
nuhuh 1
Also you have Jack and Jill.
fluorescentadole_fml 8
this metaphor works on so many levels
gracehi 33
You call your hand, "Jill?" Good name I suppose. I call my fancy shower head, "Leo."
Mitcha857 0
We Leo's are great at pleasing the opposite sex ;)
kakarot2 11
But we scorpios are better ;)
gracehi 33
I'll take your word for it, boys. Anyway, he's named after Leonardo DiCaprio.
iChaseRainbows 2
You couldn't aim higher than Leonardo DiCrapio?
Cad6 24
Lucky you. I'm cancerous.
gracehi 33
WTF ARE YOU TAKING ABOUT???? LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS ******* IMMACULATE!!!! He has aged like a fine wine! LIKE A FINE WINE, I TELL YOU!!!!
zombicidal 11
too bad he's an awful actor
gracehi 33
You crazy. He's a GREAT actor. And I'm not just saying that because he's gorgeous. Ever seen "Blood Diamond?" "Shutter Island?" Yeah. 'Nuf said.
zombicidal 11
ever seen the rendition of Romeo and Juliet he starts in. plus Titanic sucked
skyttlz 32
Hold your left hand with your fingers spread. From your pointer finger down to your thumb looks like a J and the fingers are lll
gracehi 33
All right, troll. I'll play. If you want to evaluate an actor's abilities, you should base your assessment more heavily on his more recent works than on movies made over a decade earlier. He wasn't even 20 yet when he made those movies. He's nearly 40 now. That's a LOT of time for improvement.
zombicidal 11
I'm not trying to troll but I can see how it looks that way I just don't really like his movies
gracehi 33
Aaaaaaaw...Don't hate him 'cuz he's beautiful. The poor guy just can't help it. :(
twifan1901 0
How dare you say titanic sucked!!
TheJashinist 8
Seriously... He's just an actor. Calm down.
murdersquirrel 15
What's Eating Gilbert Grape? = Win. Inception = Lame. Also, Shutter Island was so predictable my eyes bled a little.
JOEGERNAUTT 1
Now you're just being a hater. That man can act. Period.
moosemonkey1000 6
His rendition of Romeo and Juliet was awesome and I bite my thumb at you sir for saying it was awful.
Mitcha857 0
89 you are for sure trolling if you say inception is lame. Lemme guess, you didn't understand it?
MrAfricanNinja 0
89- Oh my god are you okay?!
The_Weirdo 10
I have respect for the man, but you've got to admit, Shutter Island kind of sucked, but other than that, he is a great actor.
freerun4life97 0
I thought your hands name is palmela handerson?
CptZoe 10
Whooa, things just got real. Shutter Island, totally predictable but that does not change the fact it was amazing. If you try to slag off Leo, watch What's Eating Gilbert Grape and you will see he has been brilliant since a wee boy! If you look at acting ability as opposed to all round film quality, he was brilliant in Titanic and Romeo and Juliet too. He just got so much better along with the films he chose to take part in. And mature like a fine wine he did! Nomnomnom
jacsoccerdude3 10
What about Gwyneth Palmtrow? Hand Solo? Lindsey Lohand? John Hand-****? Or are these to far?
Michaelsgirl04 9
141: you were good until the "lindsey lohand" *shudder*
radrory 0
Look at your right hand, the fingers spell out "Jill"
doubleohseven 0
Hold your right hand up with your palm facing away and spread your fingers. Hook your thumb upwards (like a J), and you should undrstand why it's Jill.
mjoyn98 1
Explain it to your girlfriend if she's a keeper she'll understand. If she doesn't, you're probably better off with Jill. . .
X_Codes 11
Should have responded "No, she's coming to the three-ways."
xk75 4
She sounds a little off the rails already tho, I guess it's better the op found out now.
LolFMLnot 10
71 any girl would get pissed if they find out their bf is cheating on them. In this case it's lack of communication. Good luck OP explain to her and everything will be good.
st0815 9
@71: But she didn't find out. Someone made a joke on Facebook and she didn't even give her boyfriend a chance to explain. Sure there is lack of communication there, but that's there only because she wouldn't let him speak. Normal girls wouldn't do that, they would believe their bf over a random stranger, and they would ask before jumping to conclusions. Everybody makes mistakes of course, but if she is always like that ... that wouldn't make for a good relationship.
mjoyn98 1
71- A friend said 'you're cheating on Jill?' you can't put sarcasm behind words over the Internet so its a reasonable response if it's a new relationship.
BeccaHugs 17
It's because he "Jack's" off with "Jill". It's actually so clever!
DevineBeauty15_ 6
sooo true..Its lack of comuunication she has summ insecuities i bet
PYLrulz 17
Well, it looks like you'll be going back to Jill in no time
bobbeta30 14
My name is Jill....
Dajucy1 7
no one cares, now gtfo
elpopsw 0
Why Jill? Pamela would be a better name...Pamela hand.
lolipop1234_fml 7
Pamela handerson
FMLsAreAwesome 0
Handgelina Jolie
FMLsAreAwesome 0
Jennifinger Handiston... Lindsey Lohand... Barack Opalma ... xD Morehand Freeman •_•
TheFirstSamurai 18
Jack and Jill= Jackin' Jill. At least that's how I think they came up with it.
Flyersfan54 4
Because if you hold your hand up it spells Jill. Not Pamela.
teague95 16
its Jill because if you look at your right hand your thumb and pointer make a "J" then open the rest and its the "I" "L" "L"
Isoldael 27
Thought the whole point was calling her PALMela HANDerson...
pxndiieinsanity 6
A turkey :p
Torva_fml 16
Palm facing me? I see llij. Then again, I'm right handed. You must be a lefty.
a_purple_orange 4
sjbartholome said "hold up your LEFT hand with your palm facing you..." and if you did it with your right hand and it said lliJ, i think you should go to a doctor because I'm fairly sure your thumb shouldn't angle towards your hand....
returnpolicy 3
I think Palmela would be fitting
doubleohseven 0
He said left hand dummy
NiCeGuY115 14
**** Jill's life and FYL too sorry to here that
danishbagel 3
...*here
carlovr435 10
Grammar nazi fail! ^^^^
b0ngs 7
*hear. Double fail
olpally 33
Hear**** everyone fails hahahaha
olpally 33
Didn't see comment above mine^ when I posted mine... *prepares for thumbs down and punches self in face* :(
ronnie220 11
why would u put such a thing on Facebook when you already has a girlfriend?!?!
unhappybitch 8
Read the damn FML again.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Someone just confessed that she was illiterate to the internet population
Justforlolz 14
"Already HAS", eh? Quite the grammar specialist, I take it.
RedPillSucks 33
So many fails....
KriiFahMoro 9
Just go away. Go away and never look back.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
No, I think he read it, he just didn't understand
CptZoe 10
Preeeetty sure that's a she.....
Fruitmonster2 15
User name is ronnie220, ronnie is a guys name. thus making the user a male or at least a she-male.
HonestTruth 5
Get your bud to explain to situation...
GreenAppleDP 0
Freak out first, ask questions later.. That always goes well. "/ I hate when people jump to conclusions. Sorry OP.