Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, someone told my girlfriend that I cheated on her. I've never cheated in my life. Instead of talking to me about it, she made a big post on Facebook about what a dick I am. Pretty much all the comments went along the lines of "What a bastard." and "Ugh, men are pigs." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML
Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
You call your hand, "Jill?" Good name I suppose. I call my fancy shower head, "Leo."
mjoyn98 1
Explain it to your girlfriend if she's a keeper she'll understand. If she doesn't, you're probably better off with Jill. . .
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Comments (69)
zenrael 21
I think you mean palmala handerson
perdix 31
Jill really loves you. She'll wait patiently while you see how far you can get with this other girl. She's confident that you'll be cumming back to her. Almost cocky.
QuirkyCorgiLove 8
Lol! How... punny;D
abzz90 2
Damn those euphemism, always get you in trouble.
jillerzzz 7
I may have to have some words with my parents. Guess what my name is?
BrysGirl27 14
Like Jack and Jill?...haha I get it
happyvocal 1
ಠ_ಠ
pimpnainteasy 5
I'm finding if you hold both hands down you can make lil jill
sonnyrosa 32
Your girlfriend is kind of an idiot if she's never heard that joke before
kenzie20 6
Yup, sounds about right. Girls tend to jump to conclusions and guys don't think before they make remarks.
QuirkyCorgiLove 8
Ehh. I think she was in the right though.. If you find what seems to be obvious proof, it would be hard to stay civil while you're feeling betrayed, belittled and hurt. So OP, you kinda deserve it. Of course, if she didn't listen to reason even if you tried to talk nicely to her about it, and tried to reassure her, then FYL.
bj3rd 0
Dick
shahroni1 3
stupid gf .
listo351 1
Haha, that's a pisser! I can't say I've heard that one. Shame your girlfriend didn't give you a chance to explain though