Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, my funny, handsome, intelligent, caring, all around awesome boyfriend and I broke up. He introduced me to his fetish and wanted me to participate. His fetish? Dressing, talking, and acting like a baby. He wanted us to both wear diapers and pretend to be babies together. Fuck that noise. FML
Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML
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Top comments
carleybeak 21
A fetish for grandmothers? Wtf?
1seven1 0
Wow, lay off the butterscotch candies and weird dudes
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Comments (124)
umkay 0
hahahahahahah sucks for u!
jmtmxer 0
1-Lol that tan sucks for you !
rallets 23
G.I.L.F
KiddNYC1O 22
I don't know if that was sarcasm but that is obviously Kim "72 days" Kardashian.
jmtmxer 0
29-No I honestley didn't know that lol she looks ugly without make up and that tan....
Jovecove 13
LOL some weirdass tan lines she has
bornoriginal 3
Lol maybe 'the weirdass tan lines' was from big sunglasses she was wearing?
1seven1 0
Wow, lay off the butterscotch candies and weird dudes
TruthBeTold36 3
Embrace it and buy him socks for Christmas. See if he enjoys that.
thisisafunnyname 12
Put all twenty cats up for adoption
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
He likes Gilf, google it if you don't know the term, I'll admit some g moms are hot...
bearnblue 0
I think you should stop pinching his cheeks and studdering. Oh and when I say cheeks I mean face and ass ;) rawr
EvilPotato 15
And your EX-boyfriend is going to be girlfriendless for opening his big fat mouth.
graham11 14
OP- sweetie, would you like your hand-knit sweater to have reindeers or a Christmas tree on it this year? Boyfriend- ummm well... OP- oh hold on a second, the butterscotch cookies are done baking!
carleybeak 21
A fetish for grandmothers? Wtf?
flockz 20
and why her boyfriend rubs canes with a little too much enthusiasm...
Every1luvsfmls 6
I have a fetish for wrinkles and old women is that not normal?
jwade11 12
That's pretty creepy and gross!
murdersquirrel 15
He likes taking grandma to Applebee's ;)
jkmartinjk 16
GILF
grannygirlfriend 6
I did, no longer though.
110211 3
Thats sooo funny and akward!!
scottieclark 4
Gross!!
rttr 18
You broke with him, right?
maninthebox11 8
Well that's sweet
SillyFart 7
Sigh.. I say this all the time, that's why it's on FML...
ChilledDubstepa 6
It's on FML because it's sweet?
SillyFart 7
The guys actually trolling it used to be sucks but he changed it to sweet.. I just got owned..
trollfaced 2
.
Schizomaniac 24
I agree.
TruthBeTold36 3
Wow! I never thought of it that way.
birdfreak 24
Ech :p well at least he's honest about it?
EatnBeef 7
Don't worry OP, he just going through a phase. Next he'll be on the step sisters best friends brother phase.
birdfreak 24
Lol woooow :)
trollfaced 2
That's weird at least he doesn't have a swirly fetish
turtleomnom 0
or a Sasquatch one...
yumgranolabar 5
I see what you did there.
Jennielee 6
That's hilarious. I love running gags.
ladyLALAA 29
You ruined the running gag!
birdfreak 24
Ech :p well at least he's honest about it?
DocBastard 40
Maybe you shouldn't use Preparation H as lubricant.
mapletree 8
A grandmother fetish? I think you should be glad you broke up…
mrredkneck 2
She didn't say if she broke up with him
bearnblue 0
Where in this passage did she say they broke up?
graham11 14
I'm so glad FML is not a dating advice website. There would be way too many break ups...