Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, my funny, handsome, intelligent, caring, all around awesome boyfriend and I broke up. He introduced me to his fetish and wanted me to participate. His fetish? Dressing, talking, and acting like a baby. He wanted us to both wear diapers and pretend to be babies together. Fuck that noise. FML
Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML
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Top comments
carleybeak 21
A fetish for grandmothers? Wtf?
1seven1 0
Wow, lay off the butterscotch candies and weird dudes
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Comments (124)
grannygirlfriend 6
I am 22, he's 23. How about now?
perdix 31
So, you seriously look, act and smell like a grandma? Have you been smoking and on crystal meth since you've been 10? You need to change soap, shampoo and perfume to change the smell part. Changing the looks and the acting is going to be a lot harder.
Cmdr_Shepard 17
LOL, you're the same age as me but people mistake me for a teenager all the time. If I were you, I would get completely overhaul my wardrobe/style/hair, etc. You don't have to dress like Lady Gaga, just get nice, modern clothes that's trendy but won't go out of style fast. However, I sympathize with you acting old. I act old because I hate parties and taking a lot of risk. I'm very conservative in my behavior. IMO, no young person should be acting like they're 60 (and vice versa).
kingbrady 3
Niggers.
jazzy_123 20
Lmaaaooo!
Arxikist 3
He'll blend your food like a good whipper snapper
duhWINNING2_fml 9
I'm the absolute opposite. I have a serious psychological fear of really old women... Nothing can really scare me in a horror movie except witches.
Baytheshark 14
You should see a psychologist...
gdcbgb 0
That's messed up. Just grannies or elderly women in general cause specifically grannies is worse.
mrcoltone 0
Grandmas boy lol
TheJashinist 8
Not creepy or anything...
N3766 20
Is he Richard Fish from Ally McBeal?
Arch27 27
Wow, there's a blast-from-the-past reference! Nice catch :D
RawEndo 1
stop packing his lunch and walking him to the bus every morning