Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
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Top comments
Rozza17 29
Well she did listen...in ways
sleepyglowstar 32
that really sucks. unfortunately small children can be rather literal!
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Comments (102)
Rozza17 29
Well she did listen...in ways
DenBriZel 31
Yeah, at least she listened. Gotta give her credit for that. Though you could've been a little more specific.
girlrome 19
It's potty time! Can't hold it! Can't hold it!
nightowl713 25
From experience, while potty training, when a small child says they have to go, they have to go right then. OP should have tried to find a spot to stop.
nix1993 41
We don't know that she's still potty training. My nephew turned 3 a few weeks ago and has been potty trained for months now, and wouldn't even think about ******** on the floor even if he was desperate. If a child can't hold it generally ends up in their pants, it implies some form of conscious deliberate action to pull down her pants and shit on the floor. Parents know their children, she wouldn't have said wait till we get home if she thought she wouldn't be able to hold it, and she clearly could, but chose not to once they were home. I will never understand this automatic reaction to excuse small children for everything they do just because they're young, and then put some form of unnecessary blame on the parents. A 3 year old knows right from wrong, sometimes kids are just assholes!
buttcramp 21
Sometimes you need to be super literal with kids. This does suck though, OP. Next time say "well please try and hold it until we get home so you can use the bathroom there"
MrsDruidess 23
she was home, you should have taken her from her car seat right to the bathroom. Also I guessing she "shit" on the floor, shat is a fart with shit you didnt expect, if you're using it to avoid saying shit, youre an idiot. YDI
jsimmons94 11
#84: She used the word 'shat' correctly. What you are referring to is a SHART, as in combining the words shit and fart. Way to call someone else an idiot and end up making yourself look like one. Smh.
parrchristianna 14
Dealing with toddlers myself, i can understand, but just saying using the bathroom to a 3 yr old, doesn't mean they will understand that means in the toilet. I ask my 2 yr. old if she used the bathroom, which means did she pee or poop in her diaper.
sleepyglowstar 32
that really sucks. unfortunately small children can be rather literal!
ComoEsJuan 24
I am not doing this to be a dick, but the missing comma in this made me laugh so hard. I saw a child, that was too small to do anything... When you read the comment again, just picture that unfortunately small child attempting daily tasks. That is all.
EvilPuggy 11
I was gonna say if the daughter has Asperger Syndrome, I certainly would have at least considered the literal meaning as a kid, even if I knew what she meant.
Queen_bee1234 21
The joy of having kids!
drewflav 17
Shit happens, especially when toddlers are involved. Time to remind her of her diaper days and hopefully she'll smarten up.
onlychildFTW 34
Too true. My mom used diaper punishment on me when I was younger and it worked very well.
meirginsburg18 10
well shit!
TheRoyalBattler 5
You can come over, but watch your step!
ruckfules85 34
No my gosh. Well children are taught to follow the exact rules you give them.
SmuggletheBudgie 15
Yes but even children can take the piss sometimes. Or in this case takeba shit.
Southdiver91 6
Shit happens.
DenBriZel 31
Like your comment?
jasminetslater 13
I feel like at 3 she would know better, unless you didn't potty train her properly.
Mynamewontfi 40
Kids that age don't know any better and this has nothing to do with bad potty training. Kids that age can be quite literal and their train of thought works different.
mattrd_fml 31
My son just turned three and he knows not to poop on the floor... when we say wait until we get home. He goes to the bathroom when we get home.
expectcriticism 13
That's good for you but some kids aren't at that level. Each child learns in different ways and comprehends things differently. OPs child just has a literal mind
twelve_oh_seven 11
A 3 year old also is going to take stuff literally.. Please don't reproduce you'll be too harsh on them smh
iLike2Teabag 27
Should have been a little more precise..