Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
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Top comments
Rozza17 29
Well she did listen...in ways
sleepyglowstar 32
that really sucks. unfortunately small children can be rather literal!
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Comments (102)
horizontalline 18
Kids tend not to understand things the way you'd like them to
Steffi3 40
Atleast she still pulled down her pants?
jddrinker 6
Burn!
ThomasBombadil 31
Sometimes you just gotta go and waiting is not an option.
blargboo 2
How dare you. As a parent you should know better than to make your child wait. Children can't hold things like you or I can. Making your child wait to use the bathroom is just cruel. Shame on you =/
whatwhyhoo 10
Maybe there was no other option. You think stopping at the side of the road is better? You're quick to judge.
blargboo 2
There is ALWAYS the option to find a restroom. Clearly you aren't a parent
vencku 13
If they were on their way home, it probably - given that the kid clearly was able to hold it in until they arrived - wasn't very far. Would you really stop, make your kid get out and poop on the pavement while you're ten minutes from your house? And no, there are no public restrooms everywhere.
vencku 13
Continued: asking a stranger is useless. On a summer's day, after my four-year old had finished his bottle of water at the park and had been nagging me on the way back, I stopped at a random house and politely asked if they could refill the bottle with tap water. They slammed the door in our faces.
dachayke 16
#33, you're one of those parents who gives their kids whatever they want when they start whining, aren't you?
blargboo 2
Of course not, but you can't deny your child the right to use the rest room. Shame on all you people =/ I hope you guys never breed!
jsimmons94 11
#33: You are seriously being too judgmental right now. You have no idea of these peoples circumstances so instead of jumping to conclusions and calling someone a 'bad mom' how about you keep your mouth shut and consider the possibilities. Like someone else already said, more than likely they were close enough to home that she COULD wait, no parent in their right mind would make a kid wait an hour or two. Like 39 said, there are NOT public restrooms everywhere. And if it was only a ten or fifteen minute drive, that kid better get used to it, because kids in school are denied the right to go to the bathroom allllllll the time.
dachayke 16
#79 I give up on trying to reason with your stupid logic.
CoffeeCatsnBacon 5
lol she's going to make a fantastic lawyer.
Shandra78 9
I'm impressed you know the past tense of 'shit'.
JMichael 26
She just couldn't wait to go into the bathroom.
weveallbeenthere 30
need to be very specific with her now.
skyeyez9 25
I hope it was a solid turd vs runny. That makes it alot easier to clean at least.