myfamilyisodd
United States
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Ridge, United States
Fire hasard
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Emily
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Hayward, United States
Gun nuts
Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me, "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML
Anonymous
Gun control
Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML
derped-out sperm
Ireland
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
srhoa01
Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML
Notre_Dame_714
United States
Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML
Gun safety
New York, United States
Gun culture is fascinating
Today, my 14 year-old son asked to join my buddies and me at the gun range. The second I finished the safety lecture and handed him a pistol, he started twirling it on his finger (thankfully, it was unloaded). I smacked him in the head and took him home. Now he's moping and sulking like a bitch. FML
Anonymous
Ballshot
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Anonymous
Austin, United States
Tough guy
Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Dumbass
Today, I had to take my son to hospital because he had two Lego pieces up his nose. He’s 19 and shoved them up there because he was drunk. FML
Top comments
MerrikBarbarian 9
how does one shoot oneself in the ass? o-o
faithxoxox 1
Hey, vaginas see tougher than balls. You punch a guy's balls, he'll squeal like a pig. But vaginas can take a pounding!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (213)
Nutty4Muffs 3
Those things can welt for weeks.
xlord 27
I didn't even know you could position a BB gun so it would shoot you in the ass?
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah, but hopefully OP cares enough to rub that welt and apply lotion to it.
zfrt 3
Don't be a ******, those things don't even hurt.
Nutty4Muffs 3
Depends on the fps. And we're obviously not talking about Aerosoft here when we say "Emergency Room". Likely, it was a rifle, not one of those "******" handguns.
cfalen 0
I see a new Christmas movie in the future.
faithxoxox 1
Hey, vaginas see tougher than balls. You punch a guy's balls, he'll squeal like a pig. But vaginas can take a pounding!
Nutty4Muffs 3
Seeing the reruns for the old movie 50 times a year already makes me want to shoot my own eye out... wonder how I'd respond to a new movie with an ass instead.
Nutty4Muffs 3
24, +1 for pun.
hannahcorrine 0
Grow some ovaries, wuss. ;)
nalia18 8
8 i dont believe ive ever heard anyone called a ******... You dont hear girls calling people a penis... Use the less sexsist term pussy and dick... By the way hes right on kick to the balls or "penis" your bending over screaming bloody hell but a hit to our vaginas and were laughing in your face... Then we kick you again for fun ;)
Doribella98 14
Nalia18- I'm still frightened by your picture :-/
Nutty4Muffs 3
I can't tell if I'm surprised you know how it feels for boys, or if I'm just surprised you are actually a girl Nalia.
RainbowHeadache 2
Pretty sure getting cooter punched still hurts. :| though, just flicking a vagoo would do nothing. I hear flicking a pair of man jewels on the other hand is worse than flat out hitting them.
StopDropNRoll 11
Eww vaginas! =P Btw idk how This conversation went to getting shot in the ass to getting kicked in the testis/******
enonymous 9
Someone must have just watched the movie "Wanted" and curved the bullet too much.
enonymous 9
96 - You'll find out about a cooter punch in a few weeks / months I've been secretly strapping headphones on your belly and playing Bruce Lee movies for your kid.
zkeeter08 4
Ha! Cooter Punched!? Priceless!
fatgirllovesfml 0
We got a 99.99% chance the kid is fat. The other .1% is for legal stuff incase I was wrong and someone decided to sue me. Ok, bye.
Bekeliyr 10
Uhm are you the same guy I played airsoft with that one who shoots himself in the eye?
RainbowHeadache 2
Haha four weeks left. Strangely he's a pretty docile kid so far. Doesn't kick hard at all. Maybe he's saving it for the day he gets violently ejected from my vag. Is he going to Kung Fu kick his way out of my vagoo? D:
whitesox365 0
At least this makes a really interesting story for family christmas parties w/ grandma and grandpa
vergaso 0
125(fatgirllovesfml) 99.99% + .1% = 100.9% 100.9%..... what a weird benchmark number to show your certainty of the possibility of the 2 retarded options you gave
enonymous 9
135 - you should be thanking me for not putting Kung fu panda on that kid would be 30lbs and doing a kung fu kick out of there
RainbowHeadache 2
144- his dad was a ten pound twenty four inch long baby. Come at me bro. My vag will be a veritable battleground. Better than reruns of Walker Texas Ranger. :|
dre_bro11 12
125, you should be a mathematician.
Adman567 9
125 - i think you mean 0.01%
iSeeSarcasm 3
"You'll shoot yourself in the ass, kid."
cass85 8
If you're being such a PC Penis anyway then what is so preferable about "dick" and "pussy"? Surely you'd find them more crude. Calling people a "Penis" or a "******" is much more effective is transferring triviality than the aforementioned.
faithxoxox 1
96, when I said they could" take a pounding", I wasn't necessarily speaking of getting punched. Refer to 27's post. But yes, getting hit in the vajayjay does hurt. But it's not too bad.
RainbowHeadache 2
I was replying to 81 when I said that.
_words_of_wisdom 4
for a bb getting shot point blank at your ass not to hurt, you either have the shittiest bb gun ever or you have such a hard ass after all the times you "accidentally" dropped the soap in the shower room.
enonymous 9
146 - so many vag jokes to go with but I'll go with: What was your vag before being a battlefield? A playground? Maybe a cornfield to plow thru?
tjv3 10
how on earth did your son manage to shoot himself in the ass?
dragonmaster43 0
wow RainbowHeadache and enonymous you both made my day :D congrats on the baby
RainbowHeadache 2
Thank you 178: It was a utopia. lol I'm sure it'll end up looking like a post-apocalyptic world.
Neorecon19 18
#38 - There is a difference between a plastic air soft bb and a C2O powered metal bb genius.
efynsien 1
Lol 131. Very well connected with that FML
efynsien 1
I call bullshit. A metal bb is denser, smaller, and will actually easily penetrate skin. Especially if he was close enough to shoot himself on the ass.
rawrawsum 0
I'm so sorry for you.
CraneTG 0
Hospital for that? Unless it went through the pipe hole i dont see any other reason 0.o
Jdimp 1
now he knows what it feels like to get raped... sort of
natashax21 5
Which smart parent decided to buy him a BB gun for christmas?
fr33m3xican 0
what did we learn today?
SirObvious 1
Curiosity killed the cat
haniam16 6
Did you kiss it and make it all better? haha jk
2ndSucks 15
That's sick.
laden_swallow09 35
Not just sick… just not funny, either.
terran36 0
Hahahah good one
Volleyballer007 0
Dude? Really? Are people that stupid now days? You need to grow up.
noah1213 0
He was making a joke just like all the other people in this site do! He did nothing wrong. So shut up and lets here your stupid jokes.
MerrikBarbarian 9
how does one shoot oneself in the ass? o-o
grad2011 0
With a BB gun, hello. ;)
mexicutioner123 0
He was shoving it up his ass and he got excited so it went off
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
I'm getting this vibe that he purposely shot himself in the ass for 1 of 3 reasons if possible all: 1) attention 2) pleasure 3) for the hell of it
tittymagic 0
Maybe he is a butthead... And his ass is where his face is supposed to be!
tittymagic 0
Maybe he is a butthead... And his ass is where his face is supposed to be!
tittymagic 0
Sorry about the double post, FML glitched.
stubbywubby31 0
Very carefully.
GimmeFive 10
There's a technique to it that takes insane amounts of skill to master
TriflingAllDay 6
I smell foul play.
alexsmokesdro91 0
Sounds like he's either too young, or too immature..
CaptainPickles72 18
Yes, immature! This is worse than when he tried shoving the pencil up his ass! O.o
exleonhart 0
*Sharpie*
exleonhart 0
You said pencil, but it's okay. I knew you meant sharpie.
KiddNYC1O 22
74- Just stfu. It was another FML reference.
Jamicianprince 1
That's dumb if him how old is he
tona01 16
What?
Jamicianprince 1
I ment to say how dumb of him sorry
shazza26 1
By the look of your grammar, you don't look very old either
slushpup9696 12
109 - Finish your sentence with a period if you're gonna correct someone's grammar.
Jamicianprince 1
Thanks why are pepole thumbing me down
Darklord53 0
I want to shoot you in the ass with a BB gun Lay down in the tall grass and laugh at what I've done :)
SouthernPride95 19
Confederate railroad gotta love it:)
XxREXxX 0
darklord you fail, 25 rejected fmls? u need a hug.
KiddNYC1O 22
Troll successful.
cakemastaaa 0
TF?
kathuzada 6
At least he didn't shoot his eye out.
iloveeyouuxD 9
Haha Yup. Always look at the bright side OP:) hope he gets better..
Buttsexpirate 9
Or worse, his Rod and the family stones.
K410 18
"You'll shoot your ass out kid!" XD
DrewsFML 8
Fire in the hole!!
iloveeyouuxD 9
Doesn't sound very fun if you ask me. Just plain painful. OP- sorry about your kid lol